If you're 40ish, size 14 ish and stylish, what do you wear?

[DionFortune]

I need a new look. I have Kondo'd all my non joy sparking clothes which has left me with basically fuck all. I've sorted my hair (see other thread) and now I need to sort my wardrobe.

I'm looking for casual but stylish outfits and I'm crap at knowing how to put things together. I feel frumpy and bedraggled most of the time, HELP ME MUMSNET!

I'm also not loaded so doing this on a fairly limited budget, I can't carry on wearing the dated, unflattering stuff I have. I have a bit of a tummy since DC3 so I'm a bit self conscious of that and it limits what I can wear. Any suggestions most gratefully received.

Cos

What do you do? You need to get the right clothes for your lifestyle (have been guilty of buying stuff for an aspirational lifestyle I don't actually lead!). And budget - high street? Mid range?
Your hair is awesome, by the way...

Sorry - would have helped if I'd read your post properly in the first place regarding budget and casual stylish clothes.

So I live in jeans but try to get a really flattering cut (I like girlfriend/relaxed slim with a nice high waist to contain the wobbly stomach). I've had a really successful time with a personal shopper in John Lewis specifically hunting down jeans - she had a great eye and selected various brands that worked well. In my experience of personal shopping giving a budget was effective and the shopper knew the stock really well.

I'd try and find a well cut blazer, or if you can stretch to it, a leather biker jacket. Are you looking for more spring/summer stuff, or clothes for right now?

For work or stay at home?

I'm a stay at home mum, 45 and size 14/16, top heavy and a tummy. I have just bought two pairs of these from H&M m2.hm.com/m/en_gb/productpage.0434635002.html#Black/White/Patterned in patterned blue and black, to get me out of the skinny jeans rut. I'm going to wear with plain thin knit jumpers in black/blue and get my ankles out in my Clarks Glove Puppet pumps. I have bought a Hush Cara jacket to wear with distressed boyfriend jeans and a white t for casual going out and I have got a couple of Boden longer length linen shirts to layer under jumpers or alone with the obligatory skinnies. Half the day I'm in my dog walking gear!

Sounds great!

Thanks
Meant to say I like a bit of casual Phase Eight too. I have a nice unlined slightly 'sheeny' parka I'm wearing over everything at the moment and a Becca jumper (although the batwing is not for everyone). There is a shop assistant in my local one who I always copy when I go in, she always looks out together but not at all dressy!

*put together

I am no style maven but a relatively stylish and also very casual dresser. I found pinterest useful for this, just search spring/summer/fall casual outfits and if you see something you like add it to your board. Also look at hush website for ideas on putting outfits together, they have a great laidback casual look.

Another (boring but practical tip) is try to buy the majority in colours that go together so you can mix and match, most of my day to day stuff is: navy, olive, tan, grey, white and denim with a few coral/pinky/blush pieces. Going out tops don't have to be as flexible so you can vary the colours or pattern a bit more on those.

I would buy (not all at once)...you probably have some of this already...

Trousers
Smart dark jeans maybe straight leg
Girlfriend/casual jeans in lighter wash
skinny jeans in medium-wash which can be rolled up too
white jeans
olive green/dark grey joggers
A nice casual skirt, which can be dressed up or down
Shorts for summer if you like wearing them

Tops
V-neck or scoop neck t-shirts; navy, olive, blush, stripy etc
long sleeve or 3/4 bretons in different patterns
Maybe a boho blouse (nothing too floaty/wide)
few dressier tops for going out
Some thick cotton vest tops for summer (nothing too flimsy)

Shoes
Classic trainers such as adidas or converse
low-heeled suede ankle boots - dark grey is very versatile but taupe is nice for spring
Ballet shoes in a nice neutral nude or leopard print
Leather sandals for summer in tan or black

Jackets
Denim jacket
Utility type jacket in olive
Casual blazer

Bags
A nice crossbody bag in navy or tan
A dressier clutch for going out

Scarves
A couple of new ones maybe look at hush

Accessories
Buy a few decent pieces; such as pendant necklace, bangles, nice watch, nice sunglasses

All this stuff is very basic and easy to put together.
olive jacket + girlfriend jeans + navy top + trainers
or
Denim jacket + olive joggers + blush top + sandals
or
blazer +white jeans+breton+ballet shoes

just add accessories and you are done :)

Happy shopping!

I'm mid 40s, and a top heavy (34G) size 12. I have recently started reading 'My fashionable 40s' blog, and I really like 90% of her style, and how she puts outfits together. She always looks casually stylish.

Okay, she wears a lot of grey, black and denim, but I'm really happy with that. The only 'colour' I really wear is blush pink, but that works really well with all the grey and black in my wardrobe. I have recently bought a lot of items she showcases on the site, it just makes life so much easier to walk into a said shop and know exactly what you're buying.

I tend to favour a well cut skinny/slim jean in a nice washed black or vintage blue. I like them to finish on my ankle bone. I wear a lot of this style jean with various jersey tops and a statement piece of chunky silver jewellery (but less is more).

I team this with either biker boots, neutral ballet flats or Superga trainers.

I have a black/grey houndstooth check boyfriend coat which I have worn loads over the Winter which was only £40 from LaRedoute, and it's had lots of compliments.

That's a great list oobedobe. I second sticking to a reasonably confined palette so everything goes with everything else - although you have to get the balance right e.g. I've got way too much grey at the moment so need to break it up a bit.

I'm definitely trying to only buy stuff I love and which will last - I recently invested in a leather biker and I love it because it just makes any outfit - anything from jeans and t-shirt to a smarter dress - feel a bit special and more 'me'.

Pinterest is great for ideas and a useful way to organise what you've got/would like/are thinking of buying.

Phase Eight - for the last couple of years all my most commented on/ successful outfits have been from here (or occasionally Mint Velvet but can be more hit and miss with quality I think).
I never pay full price though, wait for the 20% off days at either their own site or John Lewis/ Debenhams etc.
They tend to make the same items over and over again but they change the colour or pattern so once you know which of their shapes suit you it makes shopping a lot easier.

I've recently bought the 'Amy' top in two colour ways as they look quite different on despite being the same cut and have several 'Beccas' which are a few years old but still look like new.

I do buy cheaper things from other shops but only if they are plain-ish. I think they often use patterns as a way of distracting that something is poor quality and cut and it ends up costing you more in the long-term as you are replacing more frequently.

I oscillate between a 12 and a 14 depending on how many crisps I'm eating. What height are you? Could you get away with over the knee suede boots over skinny jeans/trousers? That looks stylish if you're tall-ish.

Other than that, I'm a big fan of good, natural fabrics with a bit of structure. I find that J Crew are very good for tops and knitwear. They are on the pricy side but they have good sales.

Thanks for the hair compliment Brit! Some really good suggestions thank you everyone. I've started a Pinterest style board and having a look at the 40's blog.

I'm self employed and either work from home or have work uniform for when I'm out so I'm mainly looking for clothes for the weekend or when I'm with the kids so they need to be fairly practical.

Having said that I had a night out last night and couldn't find anything at all new to wear and ended up wearing something I already had. I literally only have a few things that I actually like so definitely need to find things that go together.

Height wise, I'm 5'6".

I like Seasalt, White Stuff & M&S jeans - their straight jeans are a lifesaver! The Per Una Roma ones are high waisted & hold in my belly; they cost around £35 but I find the cheaper ones don't hold in so much.