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Original poster

Please somebody tell me what to wear

54 replies

user1484578224 · 20/02/2017 16:10

I am nearly 60, body changed due to depression and menopause, so now quite fat.
Nothing fits. I look a state.
height about 5 ft 2

OP posts:
lionsleepstonight · 20/02/2017 20:12

Have a look on Hope fashion website. They do these 'foundation' tops, dresses and leggings that are the basics for the different tunics and tops they sell. They look very stylish and give great tummy, upper arm and thigh coverage.

OCSockOrphanage · 20/02/2017 20:19

Women change shape and colouring post menopause. Eat sensibly, walk as long and as far as your timetable and body allow. Try on clothes and shapes in colours you are drawn too, and feel free to say... I do, or don't, like that.

At 60, I have to accept that I do not look as I did when I was 20, 30 or 40, or even 50. But I am vain, and like to think I look nice, so I spend a king's ransom lots on my specs. I am exceedingly fussy about how my hair is cut (very modern, no colour, have embraced grey) and my skincare is careful, but make up is much less emphatic than it was. (No foundation, mascara, eyebrows defined, blusher and maybe lippie, more likely a tinted balm.) Only from behind could I look youthful, but I am in good health and reasonably trim. Posture and energy count for more than anything as you age. Yoga, Pilates, whatever is available and well taught close to you. Running is hard on your frame after menopause.

Lucysdiamonds · 21/02/2017 01:14

My bras all dig in too. Whenever I buy a new one it seems fine in the shop but if I wear it for a few hours it becomes unbearable.

I have tube skirts too but struggle to find tops I like to wear with them. Tight clothes show my bulges ..

Sorry for hijacking your thread.

Floisme · 21/02/2017 07:23

Fitted and structured clothes work best for me now as anything wafty and floaty just accentuates the sagginess. I go for fabrics like denim, cotton, leather, good quality jersey. And always good underwear. It took quite an adjustment as I'd always been a boho/hippy dresser.

I don't attempt to look younger than I am but I do try and look modern. Agree with Soc about hairstyle and specs. Love my specs!

GeorginaWorsley · 21/02/2017 07:42

Am 50 and not yet gone through menopause but it can't be far awayGrin
If you like harem pants,perhaps look at similar shaped trousers in slightly more expensive shops?
So as well as Next look in Whistles/Hush/mint Velvet/white Company etc
Ditto for tees,and I like Uniqlo too.
I lost 2 stone a couple of years ago and have become an exercise addict,am not suggesting that you go to such extremes but I would never have believed how good both physically and mentally exercise makes me feel.
As someone said up thread ,get out walking in the fresh soon to be Spring Wink air,it will improve your mood definitely.
Also look at starting with a gentle Pilates/yoga/dance class,you can wear your harem pants!

randomer · 21/02/2017 08:47

very very useful thanks so much. Lucy is is now officially a free for all!

Eliza22 · 21/02/2017 09:09

What a lovely thread.... no bitchiness whatsoever. You've some excellent advice here, User. OCSock, you're so right about the change of colouring, after menopause. I've binned makeup I've used for years because all of a sudden it doesn't look right. I recently had a thread asking about "which?" of two foundation samples....because truly, I've absolutely no idea anymore.

I got a dog 18 months ago. She's a golden retriever who insists on two good walks a day, rain or shine 😊. The walking hasn't made much difference to my figure but, it's two hours or thereabouts each day, seven days a week so, fresh air, and I'm moving. (Years ago, a 2 hour walk each day would have had me looking very, very trim!) but, User things change, for all of us!

randomer · 21/02/2017 10:20

hurrah to no bitchiness.....what a waste of time.
I'm thinking of getting a dog.
I've restarted Yoga.
I'm going to go and haul those breats up with a proper bra fitting.

randomer · 21/02/2017 10:21

sorry I am two people ha ha

not sure what a breat is

OCSockOrphanage · 21/02/2017 13:34

A dog is great...... think of him or her as a particularly persistent personal trainer. SockDog starts looking and nudging at 10 am and gets disgruntled if we are out for less than an hour. She would like three hours but the day isn't long enough. And you need the best bra-fitter and the largest selection possible. Then, you can often find more online.

Lucysdiamonds · 21/02/2017 15:40

Great thread! Hurrah for no bitchiness!

So can I ask what tops you wear? Any links? I like the thought of not clingy but still figure defining but struggle to find such tops. At the moment I wear long vests with long open cardigan over with my tube skirts. But everything I wear is grey and black Blush

RemusLupinsChristmasMovie · 21/02/2017 16:16

I like Whistles seam-back t-shirts. Just long enough to skim over my belly but not too long. And in winter I like this sort of shape or here.

GeorginaWorsley · 21/02/2017 17:08

I now pay a bit more for my tops, I like jaeger outlet ,white company,whistles,occasionally a plain one from Phase Eight,Hobbs,Mint Velvet,Autograph etc

I also like brands such as Sandwich,Noa Noa and great Plains
I have given up on the likes of Zara,H&M etc
I hate thin 'dishcloth' fabrics

BagelGoesWalking · 21/02/2017 17:29

Eliza I remember your posts in the Doghouse, was so glad to see it all worked out well!

Look for the thread on bras (something like OMG I did the bra intervention - don't know how to link on my phone). Amazing results for people who have measured and changed bra sizes radically.

I think good skincare and a good haircut would be a way to start.

Another vote for a personal shopper session. Have seen in the past on MN that people have been very pleased when they've done it and have bought stuff they never would have considered before.

Lucysdiamonds · 21/02/2017 17:31

Nice jumpers .. but I can't wear wool.

I don't like flimsy material either, but only wear cotton/cotton blends/viscose.

Lucysdiamonds · 21/02/2017 18:03

I also prefer them to cover my bum Blush

OneLifeThreeGuvnors · 21/02/2017 18:11

Great thread. OP, I'm a bit younger than you but have always had a 'middle aged' figure - pear shape, large hips and bump with a tum - and I've gone from size 16 to 18 after having first bub. I always find that tops/dresses that go in under the bust (rather than at the waist) work well as they then skim my bum and tummy (I think it's known as empire line?). And tops that end mid-thigh seem to be much more flattering than those that end at the widest part of your hips. Good luck!

Original poster
user1484578224 · 21/02/2017 18:20

will be getting those puppies ( or should it be dogs) out in John Lewis on Friday.

OP posts:
Eliza22 · 21/02/2017 18:20

OneLife, I love empire line for the same reasons. Don't see much in the shops ATM or, I may not be looking in the right places.

Yes! It was me, with the dog. It all worked out beautifully. Love, love, love her!

Original poster
user1484578224 · 21/02/2017 18:22

so if you buy a top from the more expensive brands what are you getting for your money? the fabric? the cut?

OP posts:
Floisme · 21/02/2017 18:23

To balance out a tube skirt or skinnies, I like tops / jumpers that are relaxed fit but not oversize. Had a couple of great ones from Cos and currently eyeing up this and also this
They do higher necklines too and longer lengths. (My arse isn't bad - it's thigh length I need to avoid.) There are some um.. startling looks on their website but I'm learning to filter them out.

Also like Whistles - the prices take the piss but the stuff hangs nicely and they have offers fairly regularly. (The Grazia one should be on soon?)

For lower budget, I don't think you can beat H&M. Quality can be surprisingly good but if it looks dodgy, I layer over a vest top to get a smooth line. But I never order from the website - I need to see/feel/try on first.

Seen nice shapes in Kin (John Lewis) though not bought. And I always check the much maligned M&S, especially Autograph,

GeorginaWorsley · 21/02/2017 18:29

I like the fabrics in Cos but do most of my shopping online and find their delivery/returns expensive,plus it really is z brand you need to try on and as I'm in the north there aren't any shops near me,bar a concession in Selfridges

OP posts:
Eliza22 · 21/02/2017 18:34

Floisme. Love the Cos navy trousers.

Floisme · 21/02/2017 18:35

With some brands e.g. Jaegar, Hobbs you're paying for what should be better quality. With say Whistles, the quality isn't really that great for the price but the cut is modern.

If I have to choose, I'd probably go for cut over fabric. I find good underwear (and a vest top) can often compensate for fabric but I don't think anything can rescue a poor or dated cut. But obviously I'd prefer both!

I'm also miles from a Cos but can sometimes get to Manchester or Leeds.