I don't look good in the summer

[AnotheBloodyChinHair]

I am in my mid 40s (I look at least 6 or 7 years younger), and although I am short (5.2") and currently overweight (by no more than 1 stone), I scrub up pretty well in spring/autumn and winter clothes.

Now the summer is a different matter altogether. I have really white pasty skin and my legs don't look well in dresses without tights. My worst feature by far is my thighs, they are disproportionately big in comparison to the rest of my body, and of course they rub together. There's no swimming costume that can hide my thighs, those low leg ones just make my already short legs look even shorter.

Then there's my hair. It goes frizzy and wiry in humidity, looks awful, I can't give in to it and get it to be wavy, it just looks a frizzy mess.

I wear make up all the time but this looks obviously silly b the pool/beach, which is fine, but it's just that everything combined, I feel I look a mess and I feel ugly. The heat does something to my face, makes me look puffy.

I don't even know what I'm asking here. We are going on holiday somewhere hot in August and I am stressing about it. I can't seem to get the discipline to lose the weight, this would help so much. Those kaftan style cover ups look awful on me because the are boxy and show my legs. I don't like sarongs. A fitted maxi would be better but I can't find anything that is both cotton and petite.

That's another issue in itself, why a beach clothes made of polyester and viscose!?

What are our tips to look good in the heat?

[Laiste]

I was going to suggest a spray tan too weebles.

I use fake tan on my legs all through summer (i've tried more or less every single one out there and now use one which is £1 a tube and i've got the knack of getting it look good) but would never in a million years have thought of getting a spray tan ...

BUT - one of my DDs works in a salon and recently trained at st tropez spray tans. She tells me they do 3 different 'strengths', and will pretty much custom spray what you want sprayed on the day. She got one while training - she's pale - and it looked great. She gets clients everyday from 18 to 80. Seriously. Some of the older ladies turn up in their chunky one piece swim suits and ask for 'just what you can get to' to be sprayed Others strip starkers and lift boobs and bum for an all over! DDs seen it all. Maybe go and have a light one and see if you like it in prep for a holiday one OP?

[Eastwestbestrest]

Does fake tan reek on anybody else? All my friends use the gradual fake tans and they never smell of it but if I use it, I stink of it even 2 showers later. It seems to look yellow on me too no matter what brand I use.

I am plump, very pale and have hair that frizzed badly in the slightest bit of humidity. I look awful every summer without fail.

[AnotheBloodyChinHair]

ElspethFlashman that could work for me if it wasn't for the frill bit at the bottom and the back.
And what about thighs rubbing together, are we going to talk about that?

[Iamastonished]

Why do you feel you have to wear make up by the pool? Sweaty make up is not a good look. Why not just wear some fake tan instead? If you don't like your eyelashes have them tinted.

I hate the feel of make up on my face when it is hot. I can feel my pores clogging up.

[ElspethFlashman]

Nothing you can do about thighs in a warm climate except whack on the Lanacane, tbh.

[SuperFlyHigh]

Depending on your legs a petite (5 ft 2 or 3) friend swears by her Joules nautical dress which is either 3/4 length sleeve or full sleeve but cotton.

My friend is a size 18, and pale white like you too, she admits she will never tan.

I'd get hair straightened (Brazilian treatment?).

Also swimming costumes, she was nervous about going away with me (to a SW France small hamlet but near an aqua park and not far from a beach), I just told her no one will be looking or there will be people the same if not heavier than you. I think the fit is good and yes to sarongs or kaftans.

I look ridiculous (even at 5 ft 4.5) in maxi dresses yet my smaller! plumper friend suits them, so embrace those and the ones Elspeth linked to are great too.

Monsoon used to do and may have restarted their petite range, I know that had maxi dresses, check EBay for that.

Also YY to fit flops, both of us but especially my friend wore them and they're the comfiest ever with a wide range of finishes like glitzy ones etc.

[SuperFlyHigh]

Agreed with Iamastonished you don't need makeup in heat.

If you do though, there are various gel bronzers, Creme blush, lip glosses, get eyelashes dyed. There are waterproof mascaras but I've never found them any good.

If you dare get permanent eyeliner done, a friend of mine had that done and it looks terrific on her.

[Potkettleblack2]

I could have written this post too! But I don't just look bad when on holiday-I find summer dressing when/if the weather gets warm(ish) in the UK difficult too.

[AnotheBloodyChinHair]

It's not that I feel I need make up by the pool/beach, it's just that I feel SO ugly looking, plump, white, sweaty, frizzy hair, nothing at all going for me, that I just want SOMETHING, you know, just SOMETHING so that I don't feel unattractive until the evening when I can take a shower and put on some clothes to go out, dinner, etc. I just want to find a style that will works for me so that I feel good within my self. A lot of the shops cater for taller women, but I am a short pear shaped middle aged woman with very little tolerance for the heat, but I don't want to look and feel miserable. I want to wear cotton but the shops are full of viscose, acrylics and polyester which all make me feel even worse. I reall love the 'Star Mela' stle but oh my god the prices!!! Wh can't there be something in between? This is a holiday for the rest of my family too, not just for me, and I want to make it work.

[RubyWinterstorm]

I always find that once I am on holiday, I just don't care abd happily shake my eobbly tjiggs at any passers by

Don't you get that?

[RubyWinterstorm]

God I need a phone that's bigger... fat finger typos!

[RhodaBull]

I can't really do above 70 degrees! I look awful in the summer. I never really sweat, so when it's hot I get a furious red face and start puffing up. Not a pretty sight. My skin goes sort of mottley, too.

Summer clothes suit those lithe beauties in The White Company catalogue, with slim arms and endless legs who can wear navy and cream top and trouser combos. I have tried that look and sadly greatly resembled Sandi Toksvig.

[GirlOverboard]

I could have written this too, so I don't have many suggestions. But all I would say is don't bother with fake tan, just cover yourself with sunscreen and embrace your pale skin. I used to hate being so pale but now it's one of my favourite features. It makes you unique from all the super tanned people you see on holiday. Plus I like the slightly 50's/vintage style, which looks much better with pale skin IMO. Google some pale celebrities to see what colours look best on you. I know people say fake tan makes you look slimmer, but I really don't think it's worth the effort.

For my hair, I usually wear a headscarf/headband thingy to keep the hair out of my face. Like this: scarfcdn.yournextshoes.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Kylie-Minogue-Head-Accessory.jpg

[ZaZathecat]

I have skin like you too and varicose veins and a bit of flab. I once had a St Tropez spray tan before a holiday and Wow the difference it made! I felt great in shorts and vest etc.
Only trouble is it starts going patchy after 4 or 5 days...
I've never bothered since because I'm not overly bothered by my imperfections (and I'm to mean to pay for it!) but it did give my ego a boost that time.

[Underparmummy]

I am more comfortable with my weight nowadays but still hate summer dressing (esp compared to winter!). I just am naturally a bit more cold dressing!

Last summer I tried a bit harder - found some lovely dresses in sea salt, combed leave in conditioner through my hair everyday on our beach holiday (then washed and conditioned normally late afternoon) and tried some shorts (J crew, sale).

I had to brave some vein hating on my legs but the shorts were really useful and I felt happy than I thought. Definitely posh shorts are diff to cheap shorts... Sundresses and shorts don't feel totally me but by thinking about it more it helped massively.

Also tried to use winter pieces in my summer dressing (UK). Any Uk summer eves I did my skinnies, a cami and a light cardie. Felt happy to have some of my identity back!!

This year I am on the hunt for some maxi dresses but not floppy ones, I need some shape and tailoring even in summer (I think thats the basic issue!)

[AnotheBloodyChinHair]

Why can't I be her?

[Thingiebob]

Sandi Toksvig looks great!

[Thingiebob]

Nice long cool short dresses with leggings? Helps with the sweaty thighs

[AndShesGone]

I am exactly the same shape and I wear navy Capri pants or navy 3/4 leggings and cotton jersey tunics.

I wear sunglasses, that helps wear less make up. I wear my hair, frizzy and crappy in a loose up-do with a light leave-in conditioner. I had a great panama style hat last summer too

[missyB1]

I'm late 40s and dreading getting my body out this summer. Main issues are varicose veins, very pale skin, and cellulite! Fake tans, even the moisturiser ones all go streaky on me. Shorts and above knee dresses are scary because of the veins, and last year I found it impossible to buy a nice maxi dress, I did hunt high and low! Mind you I'm only 5ft 4 so most maxis are too long.
Oh forgot to mention the mastectomy so getting a decent swimming cozzi or bikini is a nightmare!!

Having said all that I do love the sun. OP get your hairdresser to do a professional anti frizz treatment, I've had it recently and it is fab. And yes yes to cotton kaftans!

[Eastwestbestrest]

Roll on antiperspirant followed by Lanacane once it's dried really helps with the sweaty/rubbing thighs issue.

[toffeeboffin]

It's hard. I do tan though, but my hair does frizz. I can't just slick it back off my face, I have a round face as it is so i usually just pin it up to stop me getting too sweaty.

I avoid the following :

Maxi dresses

Vests / anything showing upper arms

Bit of fake tan helps massively

I hate wearing sunscreen so try to avoid the sun

Find stuff that flatters your legs, in my case not too short. I have a 'cut off' point on my thighs, so don't wear anything shorter than that

For me the only thing that helps chub rub is weight loss. FWIW I still have it when I'm slim though.

I'm always jealous of my SIL in summer who is 5'8, and a size 6. She's like a willow with her stringy skimpy vests on and thin arms.

[AnotheBloodyChinHair]

My style in winter is quite monochrome, lots of black, white, navy and greys. A bit Parisian chic and bit preppy, quite boring really but it suits me. I wear shift dresses at work with black tights and knee boots and I feel rather smart (a bit like the photo). I need well cut structured clothes. My problem is when I try and do casual I look a mess.

[SuperFlyHigh]

OP I'd say just look for cotton or natural fabrics again Joules have cotton that I know of!

Honestly 1 stone overweight isn't that bad! I am at least 2-3 (depending on my ideal weight) stone overweight but I'm sort of lucky that I carry it well, eg people tell me I look slim and not overweight.

It's also rare that people look like your blonde by the sea in grey/white... I'd look bloody ridiculous if I even tried!

Capri pants in darker colours, layering, sunglasses, all of those can look amazing in summer. Maybe as a start clothes similar to what you wear in autumn winter etc (styles and colours) but pared down or lighter materials (natural again). I used to wear fitted tshirts in summer, jigsaw did a great wool or wool blend short sleeved top that works really well with shorts etc.

Underparmummy has some really good ideas too.