I have to go to a black tie event soon and I'm fat :(

[hormonallyyours]

Not just 'I think I'm fat but I'm actually a sz 10' but I am genuinely fat, about a sz 20-22 at present.

I am losing weight, but not enough to make much difference before this event at the end of the month.

It's a big black tie do. I'm one of the committee so I have to be there, and will be very visible, not least because I'll be the fattest one there by a long way...

I would normally wear a full length dress. I have several, but none are big enough (one is an 18, I might just about squeeze into it by the day, but I don't want to rely on that).

Currently my fallback (as I'd rather not spend ££s on a new dress to wear it once, I have been looking for cheap long dresses but can't find anything and tbh feel quite unattractive at my current size so anything I try on I'll probably feel horrible about!) is this dress I bought at Xmas (hope the link works)

dress

It's not a long dress, and it's very plain. It's not my usual thing at all but despite being v cheap actually looks really nice on and I feel good wearing it.

Would it 'do' do you think, worst case? Any ways to make it more suitable?

Alternatively can someone please please find me something that isn't too many £££s but would make a big heifer like me look reasonably glam on the night?

Thank you!

I'm the same size and 31. I'd wear statement shoes, handbag and jewellery. Maybe gold coloured accessories. Have you hair blow dried at a salon and false lashes (some salons do strips!) you'll look fabulous!

I'm your size and bought a lovely dress from Little Mistress. They are very flattering and comfortable. They have their own website or you can buy from sinplybe and a few other places too.

Would loose fitting Palazzo pants or something similarly swishy and chic work under the dress? I think it would allow you to wear high heels more elegantly than tights and dress alone.

Definitely find a beautiful necklace and a jewelled clutch to add a bit of glamour.

Marks and Spencer have some statement necklaces like that in at the moment. You can get almost anything if the rest of your outfit is black - and most places will have some nice shiny ones in post-Christmas.

i like the dress too
DOnt overdo jewellery - ONE statement piece , not dangly earrings, necklace etc

Also amazing CLASSY shoes

I think it's really pretty - a lovely shape and a great length. There are some lovely necklaces in accessorize too - a bit pricey but you could wear with other outfits.

I am a great believer in the confidence-boosting power of a bit of fake tan too (Essex girl). As well as making you look healthy and relaxed, it enables the wearing of stronger makeup. I appreciate it's not for everyone though 😂. Nice nails are important for me too.

I'm sure you will look amazing!

Fellow Essex girl here Persis so I already had the fake tan on my list! It always makes me feel thinner, weirdly, which at the moment is definitely a good thing

I've got a M&S voucher somewhere so I shall look in there - and will look in Accessorize too (might even find something in the sale in there, with luck!)

That dress will be perfect! Really like it actually. As others have said, it will be very easy to glam it up. You don't have to wear a long dress to a black tie event so what you're planning will look fab!

Am about the same size as you my dear

Following recommendations from others on the S&B board, I bought this dress recently. Absolutely bargainous and Amazon Prime-able to boot!

www.amazon.co.uk/Vintage-sleeve-V-neck-Stretchy-X-Large/dp/B01AJLS53I/ref=sr_1_3?s=clothing&ie=UTF8&qid=1484085259&sr=1-3&keywords=Velvet+dress

Hangs beautifully and really lovely quality, so the fabric drapes nicely over lumps and bumps. It feels like a proper black tie dress.

I think there's a sale on over at Lindybop at the moment and they do some lovely dresses in all sizes. Have a wander over to their website.
Personally I think 50s dresses look amazing on bigger women. I'm a size 10 and don't think I'd look half as good because I'd end up looking like a lampshade

Your weight doesn't mean you won't look amazing. Black dress, beautiful accessories and do you have a fabulous coat by any chance? If not, you should! Worth investing in a gorgeous, well cut coat in some colour to wear over simple clothes.

No no no to comedy fancy fress 50. Dresses.

They scream "im s bit fat and trying to embrace it". Love yours more

A lot of my friends wear them and they look far from hilarious.

You can look amazing in a black tie dress at your size, but I don't think that the dress you've suggested is appropriate for the dress code, TBH. Absolutely love the one that UncomfortableBadger linked to, which I think would look fabulous on curves.

For my money, black tie is simpler long dresses (than white tie) or more formal (than cocktail) knee length or midi dresses, and it's never above the knee. It somewhat depends on the event though, of course.

Bigger than you but waltzed into a so-called Black Tie do in a bright red/sparkly floor length gown (AX Paris, empire line style, cheap off ebay), hair done, dramatic makeup - the works. And was confronted with a load of people in cocktail dresses or more casual stuff.

I may have been the fattest in the room by a country mile, but I got so many compliments, so my advice to you is GO BIG AND GO GLAM! You will look awesome and the amazing outfit will divert everyone's attention from a fat bum, I guarantee!

Black tie normally means most women will be in cocktail dresses, not long dresses. You're dress works very well for it.

Don't wear coloured shoes with black tights, it's a terrible look, tights should never ever be darker than the shoes. I'd go for a black suede evening court.

OP - appreciate you feel big, but as a 20-24 and also preggers I can assure you there are loads of options for smart/ glam and flattering eve wear.

The velour dress is nice. If you're already self conscious, take a look at the Monsoon sale - their beaded maxis are lovely and could always be altered if/when you slim back down.

And Shots - that sounds amazing. More power to you, lady!!

I have some nice black patent heels but they are v v high, so may buy some new black shoes (as I don't have any mid heel smart black shoes).

I have in the past bought some lovely dresses in the Monsoon 70% off sale so will have a look and see if there's anything in there that might be suitable (and that I can force myself into a changing room to try on).

I definitely can't do anything waisted at the moment, and unless something was a line (like my dress) or empire line would feel very self conscious unfortunately. Although as I won't be drinking at the event (partly because I'm organising it, but also due to medication/ recent health condition) I am hoping no one puts that together with my loose fitting dress and comes up with me being pregnant (I'm definitely not btw!)

I'm bigger than you and wore this (with red trim, not blue) to two black tie events (with spandex). I was dreading it, but it looked pretty good, I have a photo on display so can't be too bad, and the cleavage and bit down the middle draws the eye away from bulges.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B004ZYVSR6/ref=mp_s_a_1_33?ie=UTF8&qid=1484174000&sr=8-33&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=blue+banana+dresses

I'm a similar size. I just got a dress in the Debenhams sale.

That's pretty rarely

I think, most of the time, how you feel in an outfit is more important than if it fits 'the rules'.

If you feel good in this dress then that is the most important thing, in the same way that Shots felt good in her v glam outfit, although it was more dresssed up than many.

Wear your dress as you know you'll be happy in it and not worry about it, enjoy accessorising for some bling and have a fabulous time!!