Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

Do you only buy stuff that you really love?

31 replies

Zeropiddledwhilehomeburned · 19/12/2016 17:42

I bought a jacket online. I thought it would be good for spring and autumn wear. I received it today and while it's OK, I don't love it. I can easily return it but I quite often buy stuff then return it, and at this rate I won't have any clothes because I never seem to LOVE anything!

Would be interested in people's opinions on this!

OP posts:
Floisme · 19/12/2016 18:33

I probably do a lot of the time but a) I'm very fickle and fall in love with clothes far too easily
b) it's why I still find myself occasionally buying floaty dresses that don't suit me any more and also c) why I've never in my whole life owned a proper winter coat.

I wouldn't recommend it any more than I'd recommend only eating food that you love.

How badly do you need a jacket?

IHaventStoppedCravingYet · 19/12/2016 18:39

I'd return it and look for something similar that you do love. What was it about it that wasn't quite right? Much better to own things that you love I think Smile

665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 19/12/2016 18:49

Some things you buy with your heart, some with your head. The fabulous go to pieces that define your wardrobe should be loved, but if everything looked like that you'd be a fright. So you have functional useful, filler items, that show off your lovely pieces without overshadowing them or competing.
If this coat is super functional, useful and will show off your scarves, boots etc them maybe it can earn itself a place in your wardrobe..but if you look meh in it, and it neither stands alone, nor shows off other things then the point in it?

Gruach · 19/12/2016 18:55

Pretty much, yes.

Whenever I've been forced into panic buying something I need (which means being less picky) I invariably end up giving said item away within a couple of weeks.

I don't actually mind an unbalanced and impractical wardrobe ...

GoofyTheHero · 19/12/2016 18:58

I don't, but I wish I did. After 2 kids in 3 years I'm a stone above my fighting weight, and dress for function rather than pleasure.
It's one of my New Years resolutions! If I don't love it, I won't buy it.

whitehandledkitchenknife · 19/12/2016 19:00

Yes. And fit! I have cheap stuff and expensive stuff but the bottom line is that they have to work for me. I LOVE my clothes and shoes and coats and scarves and

Lumpylumperson · 19/12/2016 19:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeryPunny · 19/12/2016 19:07

I do now, finally after years of too many "that'll do" clothes, or stuff I liked that did me no favours. The bar is set different for different items, but even basic stuff now has to be as good and as flattering as possible. It doesn't mean everything I own is a "wow", statement piece, but everything I own suits me,

Being more discerning is ultimately better in the long run; previously I had things I my wardrobe I just didn't wear because they didn't make me feel great. I do send a lot of stuff back though (do most of my shopping online), and sometimes it's hard to send stuff back even if I know it's not right because you want to love it.

flirtygirl · 19/12/2016 19:12

My rule for coats jackets dresses ie the bits that get seen then yes i must love them, the underneath layers etc just have to be comfy and fit.
I have a one in one out rule so if i love it, it stays and it makes me evaluate items that could go next as they are not loved or as loved.
Some of my stuff isnt loved as was bought before i had this rule and unless it serves a purpose really well then will go eventually.
I read marie kondo and thought id only wear things that bought me joy.

Buddahbelly · 19/12/2016 19:24

I used to have fa oo many that'll do items, which never worked together, I would usually stick to the same 2 pair of jeans with a few tops, and get bored within a few weeks and move on.

I had a massive clear out last new year and began a capsule wardrobe, taking tons of advice from pinterest, and made a list of what i needed and started buying 1 good quality item a month off the list, now it's so much easier to get dressed as everything works together and if something is ruined I can just say, right i need a new white t shirt or whatever it is. honestly wish id done it years ago, would have saved me so much money.

I dont do this with bags sadly though, just buy them when i see them

GetAHaircutCarl · 19/12/2016 19:27

I don't need to love clothes. Indeed, falling in love with an item is often a disaster for me.

Instead, it has to suit me and work with other things. Too many adored but useless items in the past Grin.

You can never have too many staples which do you lots of favours and can be brought to life with the right partners.

chanie44 · 19/12/2016 19:37

When I have bought stuff which I don't love, I don't wear it very often because it's not quite right. There was a time not too long ago when I felt that I would never buy anything again because I was too fussy, but I guess I've found the right balance.

GoofyTheHero · 19/12/2016 19:46

I don't see the point in wearing clothes that you feel just ok in. Wear what you feel great in.

I guess my problem is that I don't feel great in anything.

Original poster
Zeropiddledwhilehomeburned · 19/12/2016 19:53

Thank you all for your replies - very interesting and much food for thought.

I am going to return the jacket. When I first saw it online, I really liked it but when I actually got it and put it on, it just wasn't me.

Sadly I do tend to really like things which don't like me! Although I'm getting better at filtering those things out.

I am 45 and hoped to be on top of this sort of thing by now...

OP posts:
Bobochic · 19/12/2016 21:21

Yes, I only buy things I love. The last thing I want is a wardrobe full of clothes that make me feel meh!

Buddahbelly · 19/12/2016 21:55

goofy have you thought about a personal shopper service, Debenhams is free.

They'd be able to point you in the right direction of clothes that will make you feel great...they saved me by just adding Spanx to my wardrobe!

29redshoes · 19/12/2016 23:29

I try and do this but as others have said, it only works if you make sure you're buying staples too. I find it difficult to love a plain navy t-shirt for example, but the right one will work with so many outfits that it's definitely worth having.

But if you buy something and you neither love it nor feel it's quite right for you for whatever reason then returning it is definitely the right thing. So I think you were right to return the jacket!

ChishandFips33 · 20/12/2016 01:18

Sometimes I buy stuff biker jacket that I like the idea of or like how it looks on others.

I have colours pretty sussed now but I fall at shapes and things that go together

I'm currently using the rule of thumb that if I don't instantly like it on, I don't get it
What styles are you veering toward?

deedeelondon · 20/12/2016 01:43

I was just thinking about this very thing today! I have lots of things in my wardrobe that I don't really love - I have a vision in my head of what I would like to wear but often when I go shopping I just can't find what I really want, and end up getting something that is just OK. I have to compromise , but I wish I didn't. Some day when I can afford it I'll get round to having all my clothes made for me (dream on ...) and I will love them all.

chanie44 · 20/12/2016 05:34

I find that searching on line is the best way to find a specific item. I really wanted a denim dress and googled which pulled them all up. I found the perfect one in a shop I don't often go to.

FleshEmoji · 20/12/2016 06:05

What is in your capsule, Buddah?

perfectlybroken · 20/12/2016 06:17

Yes, I spend a lot of time searching for the thing that i love. If I buy something I'm not that keen on it invariably never gets worn. I would rather carry on wearing something old and loved, than new and meh. You wouldn't know this to look at me, I don't have particularly exciting clothes, they just need to be right.

Floisme · 20/12/2016 07:16

There are so many downsides to this. When I was young my wardrobe was full of clothes I loved but I had nothing I could wear to work. Even now, all my shoes are either brogues or ankle boots. I have beautiful tops that don't go with anything; no winter coat as I've already said. I hang on to clothes for years because I still love them, even though they no longer love me. I only began to dress even half decently when I taught myself to shop with my head as well as my heart.

I think I might write the anti-Kondo book and make myself some money.

JeepersMcoy · 20/12/2016 07:26

I don't only buy things I love, but I try to only buy things I need. Sometimes I need it because I just love it so much it haunts me. Sometimes I need it because going without a basic t-shirt bra is uncomfortable and annoying.

Flois I often think that the kondo idea of only having things you love loses something in translation. When I read her book I realised that her concept of love is a lot wider than we often think of it. It includes the appreciation you feel for something boring but useful and well designed, like a decent plain t-shirt or bin bags that don't brake when you take them out the bin. It is a much more practical love than the pure romantic love we think of in the West. That's why I tend to think of need rather than love these days.

Bobochic · 20/12/2016 07:28

Inès de la Fresange has a new book out:

www.amazon.fr/Parisian-Chic-Style-Secrets-Fressange/dp/2080202278

It's available at Colette (have bought it for DD's stocking) though not online. It tells you how to put outfits together so you can avoid expensive mistakes Smile