clothes for funeral

[rememberingdad]

My Dad died suddenly and the funeral is next Tuesday. I live in a hot country so I have literally nothing to wear and no idea either. I have a pair of brown leather ankle boots and a very old but still ok pair of black leather knee high boots, but no dress or coat. There are probably going to be about 400 people there (at least) so while I don't like to care what I look like I actually do.

Friends have offered to take me shopping but I don't want to brave the Christmas crowds, so I thought I could order online?

I'm a size 16 with big boobs and I look better in charcoal or navy or brown than black. But maybe black is best, I'm not sure.

Would be very grateful for suggestions.

I agree with Kylie. It's ok to just focus on the practical things right now. Travel plans , clothes, flowers, funeral arrangements.

Think about music /words that your father liked or that say something about him as a person or will offer comfort to the bereaved and how you can include these in the service. Make it personal, you want to make it the best possible tribute you can . It will be a comfort later to look back on the service and feel that he would have approved.

And what she said about being comfortable , hence my fears about new shoes .

Is there no one who can lend you a coat? It's a lot of money to spend on all these things that you will never wear again. 16 is a very average size and most people have a smart dark coat - I have one long charcoal grey and two navy car coat length. Some of your friends may have similar.

Do you have a nice scarf ? It doesn't have to to be as dark as the outfit and will dress up any coat.

I'm guessing that your dad lived in the country as you mention living in wellies. Remember that country people do not wear very fashionable clothes to a funeral , unless they are new money . Plain dark and smart is all that's needed.

I guess you know that your DH needs a black tie ( unless otherwise requested ) .

Oops ,para 3 should have been after the first line . Hope that makes sense .

That's what happens when you post from the phone

I know size 16 is meant to be average, but I can't think of one friend who is! They are all more 10-12. Let's see, if I love either of the coats then I will use them again. I always fancied having a smart coat for winter visits back home but couldn't really justify the expense for the odd week. If I don't love them I'll spread the friend net a bit wider for a loan.

I know what you mean about avoiding "fashiony" type things in the countryside. I usually feel very comfortable in an old pair of borrowed wellies and a jacket pulled out of the jumble under the stairs. Will bear it in mind during the trying on session.

I didn't mean that you shouldn't buy high fashion styles if you want to and can afford it .

I meant that if you have/can borrow something that is a classic style or something that others might think is boring or not completely up to the minute , it might do just fine. Anyway if you are leaving the clothes here to wear just a few times a year, you don't want anything that will date too quickly .

No one will actually notice what you wear to the funeral unless you are dressed inappropriately , so you might as well be comfortable .

I've been to many funerals and I only remember two outfits , both on women in their early 20s . One was a very tall girl ( maybe 5'10" ) wearing very high platform shoes , bare legs and a mini dresss that barely covered her underwear . In November .

The other girl wore a short white sundress with deeply plunging neckline that gave a very good view of her curvy figure ( at least it was in the summer) .

Both outfits would have been fine at a party or clubbing. At a funeral they were just attention seeking.

So as long as you avoid anything like that you will be fine