Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

Life and looks post-baby

36 replies

AnneJones · 12/02/2007 14:14

Hi ladies - I'm new in these parts and also new to the whole idea of babies. We're thinking about ttc. Be gentle with me!!

Could I ask a personal question? Among the many, many things terrifying me about having a baby, one is the thought of my body changing beyond all recognition and that it will never be the same again.

Is this universally true? Does it matter once you have a family to look after? Am I being ridiculously naive?

All comments gratefully received!

Anne

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 12/02/2007 14:16

Yes it does change
some people spring back, others have big wobbly tummies for ages!

It hasn't bothered me and I am in the latter category.

I don't think you are being ridiculous at all, it is daunting but tbh it pales into insignificance when you have a newborn, and you can always go to the gym etc

nailpolish · 12/02/2007 14:18

it doesnt feel important at first but after a while you want the old you back, and that includes looks-wise

you can get the old you back but its feckin hard work

mousiemousie · 12/02/2007 14:23

Yes it will change but you probably won't mind half as much as you think you will.

sunnysideup · 12/02/2007 14:23

It doesn't change beyond recognition, usually I don't think. Well mine hasn't anyway, it looks pretty much the same except my tummy is softer and has LOADS of stretchmarks....but otherwise, it's not so completely 'altering' as you might think.

Also, you might hate the thought of changes now but the thing is, I actually prefer to have my stretchmarks - honestly! It is a physical reminder of the amazing, and quite traumatic thing my body did and it shows how I grew my son, who is the most precious thing on the planet!

Don't be scared by it. I remember being really scared when I first knew I was pregnant; it IS scary knowing that your body is going to be basically out of your control, my SIL had been HUGE while pregnant and I hated the thought of it. However all changes happen so gradually that it's not at all scary.

Mumpbump · 12/02/2007 14:25

My hips are wider than they were before, but I really like that I am more curvy as does dh. Otherwise, everything looks pretty much the same as before. I probably dress even more casually than before, but was never a high maintenance person anyway. I know people with babies of a similar age who look great and I suspect it is more to do with personality types and the amount of time you have to dedicate to these things... I still love getting dressed up for a night out though!

Original poster
AnneJones · 12/02/2007 14:51

Hi ladies - thanks for your comments. Sometimes it sounds like everyone puts on massive amounts of weight and their bodies stretch beyond reognition - it's nice to know that it isn't inevitable necessarily. My little sister keeps on about how my figure will change if I have a baby - she is post-baby and still has a little bit to lose. (The funny thing is, she is trying to persuade me to go for it! - her perusasive skills definitely need work....)

We also see the celebrity post-baby mums in magazines, then hear from real mums who have never regained their figures. It's hard to get a good perspective on what is realistic but not scary. Thank you for helping me do this!

I'm at the stage (hence lurking here) where my hormones are saying Do It! Do It! and my brain is going WhyOnEARTHWouldYouDoThat?!

OP posts:
motherinferior · 12/02/2007 15:15

I have to say I did mind, and mind, and mind, being fatter and wobblier after having DD1. And if anything people telling me 'oh, it doesn't matter now you have a lovely baby' made me feel worse because I felt oh, OK, right, I'm just a matronly person nobody will ever fancy again, hmmm, am I.

Six years - and one other baby! - on, my waist still isn't back where it was and I don't think it will ever be, because my ribs are wider. And I'd prefer not to have stretch marks. But I weigh what I did before having children, and am quite presentable for a matronly person of 43

gingermonkey · 12/02/2007 15:33

After DD (now 7, coming up to 8) I was a mess and didn't care. I slobbed about in horrid combats and hoodies and looked awful. It didn't help my PND that I let myself go either, I didn't like what I saw in the mirror but couldn't be arsed to sort it out. In time the weight went (without being overly conscious of it) and by the time I was trying for DS (now 16mths), I was obsessed with not going down the same road. I went to the gym throughout my pregnancy (only once a week but it made me feel better) and I was aware of what I was eating, and not stuffing my face with pizza. When he was born I went very quickly back into my old clothes and I felt so much better. My body is not the same as it was before I ever got pregnant, but in some ways it's better - I've had 2 kids in it and I think it's looking quite good, even with a few stretchmarks, squishy boobs, a little more weight and a couple of c-section scars. DH is happy and that's what matters, isn't it? Don't worry, you will be fine but the first time you see your body after having a baby, it is scarey - but you just have to look at what was in there and that's an amazing feeling!!!!! Good luck and lots of love x x

anniemac · 12/02/2007 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mousiemousie · 12/02/2007 19:26

If you are determined to get back to your pre-baby weight then I'm sure you will.

Around 25 to 30% of us have c section scars

boobs normally change shape permanently

weight distribution often changes

feet sometimes get permanently wider

stretch marks are quite common

if you give up late nights, drinking heavily and smoking this will improve your looks

you are likely to have less time and money to spend on your appearance and to get insufficient sleep for a while to boot

If you are young and active before you start then this is helpful!

HAving babies only happens for most folk when you let your heart rule your head...follow your heart...looks don't last anyway...

gingermonkey · 12/02/2007 19:41

And if it all goes pear shaped and tits up, then you can always remortgage the house and have a few nips and tucks

Bucketsofdynomite · 12/02/2007 20:38

I lost so much weight throwing up whilst pregnant that none of my pre-pregnancy clothes fitted anymore. The weight has stayed off from sheer busy-ness, before kisd I was very sedentary and complacent.
Also I love my new bust, it no longer takes people's eyes out and now men look at my face not my chest. Same cupsize just skinnier somehow.
So, there is the slim possibility that you too could have the figure you've always wanted after a baby! But I think I'm pretty rare actually .

Original poster
AnneJones · 13/02/2007 09:15

Thanks ladies! It's a really silly thing to worry about in the scheme of things, isn't it?

OP posts:
Snaf · 13/02/2007 09:27

It's not silly at all. Body image is a big deal, even if it probabyl shouldn't be, really Everyone has a different reaction to their post-baby body. You may also find you don't change a huge amount - especially with a first baby.

FWIW, I loved my pregnancy body and am pretty happy with my post-baby body, although I'd be the first to admit it's not as firm as it was! I've got a wobblier tummy, and smaller boobs now, but basically I'm the same. Was lucky on the stretchmark front, too.

Lack of sleep is the thing that's really affected the way I look, imo...but that can be sorted with careful application of bronzer

gingermonkey · 13/02/2007 11:01

So true, snaf, Johnson's holiday skin is my life saver and clarins beauty flash balm. Bio oil is very good for rubbing into your skin whilst pregnant and afterwards. It's much cheaper than the clarins one, not quite as nice but still very effective. I use it now because you'll probably find your skin can dry up quicker than it did before (probably tiredness!!!) and the clarins body lotion is fab, I used that with DD and after putting 4.5 stone on I didn't get any stretch marks (god I was huge ). In fact I think I'll order some now because I remember the smell and it was gorgeous, always reminds me of being pregnant first time round

incy · 13/02/2007 11:20

Anne, I know how you feel as I had similar concerns pre my DS1. Everyone I knew who had been pregnant told me they had never really regained their figure and I would end up a couple of sizes bigger.

However, from experience I would say that how much your body changes will be up to you. Lots of women have a lovely time in pregnancy and eat for two (or more) - obviously post - baby this will mean weight has been gained !As with any other stage of your life, if you eat masses of crisps, chocs and cakes for nine months then your figure will change.

However, if you eat pretty much what you always have you will find that a couple of months post baby you will be back to your previous weight (if not smaller because running around after a baby does use up a lot of energy and frankly there is not a lot of time to eat!).

Some people have stretch marks (but not everyone). Yes, for a couple of months post birth your tummy will have some excess skin because it has stretched outwards for nine months and it will take about 4 months to shrink back to 'normal.'

But certainly, anyone who tells you it is inevitable that you will end up 2 stome heavier for life is talking rubbish. Yes, some people do, but usually because they have eaten more that normal during pregnancy and continued to do so post birth.

Don't let concerns about your figure put you off having a child - I ended up smaller post DS1 and a friend of mine went from a size 14 to an 8.

I am currently pregnant again with my second child and would say the only lasting effect on my appearance is that I look tired after sleepless nights. Nothing a bit of make up can't resolve!

anniemac · 13/02/2007 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

aptamil · 13/02/2007 11:48

agree with others, being pg doesn't mean saying goodbye to yr figure. i was 8 stone 4lbs in early pg, dd is 7 months and i am 8 1/2 stone. i'm still bf so i am hoping the extra few lbs relate to this - can anyone reassure me?

interestingly my shape has changed i used to be quite pear shaped but now have narrower hips and slighter thicker waist.

if you have a healthy active pg u and the baby will e fine

aptamil · 13/02/2007 11:51

am confused, when people mention weight gain while pg do you mean after the birth or during the pregnancy?

incy · 13/02/2007 11:56

Yes aptamil, contrary to popular belief I found that I only lost my final few pounds of pregnancy weight after stopping breast feeding. It literally went within a month of my stopping with no effort on my part.

I did read that your body hangs onto some fat stores until it is certain it will no longer need them. Certainly was true for me.

aptamil · 13/02/2007 11:59

incy - thanks, do you feel back to normal now?

incy · 13/02/2007 12:07

Yes, like you I was about 8.3 pre pregnancy and quickly went back to 8.7 post birth - I went down to 8 stone within a month of stopping bf. Felt back to normal after this - took a few months for the stretched skin on my tummy to shrink back but it went gradually without any effort. Don't think I look any different than pre birth really.

I am now over 6 months pregnant so weight is on the up again !

Does make me laugh when we are all told to bf to loose weight as I found just the opposite for me. I have since learned it is quite common to hold onto weight/fat stores until you stop.

finecheese · 13/02/2007 12:08

Hello there, to be completely honest I have to say I hate hate hate the stuff it does to your bod and everyone makes you feel like you are a bad person to care about it as you have a baby now - why oh why that should mean that any personal vanity should go out of the window is beyond me. Was 8lb 3 and am now 9lb10 and babe is 6 months old. The weight is going but its taking aaaageees. Am doing yoga which is helping but also slowly. And tits look saggier which is sad. On the other hand though I don;t wear pencil skirts and heels these days so I guess it doesn;t matter as much. God, I hope that doesn;t sound too awful but I thought you'd want a straight answer...best to be prepared I say!! xxx

anniemac · 13/02/2007 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

aptamil · 13/02/2007 12:15

congrats incy.

you sound similar to me.

i think it is quite reasonble to be concerned about body image. having a baby is such a big change it is precious to be able to retain yr identity, self image.

i sometimes don't recognise myself at mother and baby groups - i could nver have imagined how my life would be so different. it is nicer though!