What to do when you just Don't Give A Fuck

[BabooshkaKate]

I just caught sight of myself in the mirror. I look a fucking mess: hair scraped back in a bun, dry skin, no make up, lumpy and unflattering shirt, trainers.

I don't really know when I stopped looking after myself. I look like shit so I feel like shit, so i look like... Do you see where I'm going with this?

I joined a make up group on Facebook which was really supportive and that spurred me on for about a week to make an effort but now I'm back to looking like a pile of shit.

I don't remember why I used to make an effort to look nice, it was just something I did. I don't even have children to blame for this slump.

Anyone going through something like this? Any tips on self care and getting my Fucks back?

If you're looking for motivation or root cause then google level 10 life. It makes you look at ten aspects of life and rate them where they are now, where you'd like them to be and how you can try to achieve that change. It really helped me when I was feeling a bit lost. Don't try to change everything at once thought - that's setting yourself up to fail. Baby steps!

I agree, baby steps. There's no point devising a detailed beauty regime that you won't stick to. Just change one thing.

Having said that, I bet you look great.

A lot of women your age (20's?) that I see are incredibly groomed to perfection. I'm talking full artfully applied make up, eyebrows, false lashes, contouring, perfect nails; the works. Nothing like when I was young and a bit of shimmery lipstick and mascara would do. I'm not sure if it's connected to social media? the internet is certainly awash with young girls' make up tutorials. There seems to enormous pressure to look groomed at all times and 'liked' in selfies

I agree, not caring is a symptom of something.
Some people actually dont care about how they look and just get on with life. It can be a symptom of depression but not always. No advice but good luck.

You don't need to wear makeup, as long as you and your clothes are washed and clean then you are doing OK. You don't need to look high fashion all the time if you don't want to, I think the pressure is much higher for your generation than it was for those of us now in our 40s remembers grunge fondly.

I would agree having a good haircut will freshen up how you look (if you wear glasses then new ones have a similar effect to a new haircut). Then if you can afford it buy a few new comfortable clothes that make you feel good. But giving no shits is actually an absolutely fine option, there's no rule to say we have to follow fashion if we don't want to.

For me, what just keeps me above the "totally not giving a fuck" level on the days weeks when the baby isn't giving me any sleep and no time to myself is this:

1. lick of mascara and a line of eyeliner
2. tinted lip balm (rub it on your cheeks for emergency blusher)
3. earrings

The last one is the one that gets me the "you look nice" comments on the days I stink of Batiste, have my hair scraped up, and am in the basic jumper, skinny jeans and trainers combo.

That's true never, but the people who genuinely don't care and just get on with life probably wouldn't bother posting on s&b. It wouldn't occur to them or interest them.

I started looking after myself a little more when I decided to take care of my skin - leading to a routine and less time to eat and drink as much crap in the evenings, (after dc I was overwhelmed with household jobs and had no time to put effort into me & didn't see the point)

In turn I started with a little makeup again daily and found its fun rather than a rushed chore, (my youngest was 2 a year ago when I started). You don't need makeup but it can make you feel better. I recommend Nadine Baggot's 5 minute makeup video for quick ideas. Also in love with asda wonderfit jeans. They are amazing, so comfy, £20, don't need ironing and take up less space in the wash than thicker denim. I've ordered 2 more pairs since first wearing a pair on Friday after gloss and MN recommendations!

also would advise a yoga class or something for you as a good starting point.