Entire restyling help desperately needed.

[SpawnChorus]

Would anyone be willing to offer me styling advice...from scratch - a la Trinny and Suzannah? Minus the boob and arse grabbing.

I think I might be a lost cause, but am throwing down the gauntlet anyway.

If anyone is up for the challenge I'll give my sad and sorry details

You need MrsBadger and anniemac - they're both great at this. MaloryTowers was good too, but I haven't seen her around for ages.

Oh come now Jackieno,don't be bashful you're fab at this!

No - I'm fine at finding a specific item and doing links. But MrsB and anniemac are better at the bigger picture, so to speak.

I'll have a go..

Thanks

Okaaay - here's the basics:

I'm 31 and have had two babies in the last two and a half years. Body is misshapen as a result. I only know how to dress for my former body shape (biggish boobs and hips, small waist, size 10).

Am now probably 12-14. 5'6". Tummy has lost its former glory, and has developed severe muffin-top. Boobs are mahoosive and harnessed in with saggy frayed nursing bras. Legs are probably my best feature at the mo.

I'm 31 and have never really got to the stage of 'grown-up' dressing...a penchant for flares, retro t-shirts, etc.

Rarely get the opportunity to go shopping and literally just grab any old baggy stuff that looks like it might fit.

Have recently experimented with leggings, boots and a tunic top, which I thought might look ok, but then panicked that leggings made me look like mutton dressed as lamb.

Shall I dig out the tape measure? Perhaps I could even take a photo and post it on here? (technical skills and howling babies permitting).

Get sorted for a proper bra,numero uno.

To conceal muffin/stomach, consider lots of nice empire line stuff around. (Waistline under boobs), but do not choose anything with gathers or smocking as will make boobs look bigger. Part under boobs but above stomach is often slimmest area, and tops will hopefully skim problem areas. If this is slimmest part, if it ties behind it will emphasise it.

Wear with jeans....and whatever shoes you want..

Thanks fizzbuzz. Will hunt on-line later. Any recommendations re: bra? Have tried Jojo - couldn't get any to fit. Either too small in the cup or too big around the back. M&S ones are OKish for fit, but fairly hideous.

Go for v neck if massive boobs

Do NOT go to M&S for bra measuring they don't have a clue. Go to specialist shop. There are a few, or John Lewis (but not Debs). Don't know what size your boobs are, but Bravissimo are also v good, espec if you can get to a shop rather then just ordering from catalogue.

Yes - definitely Bravissimo, if you're a D cup or upwards. Otherwise if you're anywhere near London, Rigby & Peller are the ultimate, or a large department store, eg John Lewis, especially if they have older assistants - more experience, etc. Will make a huge difference to the way you feel and look.

Yes to v-necks, also wrap tops (with a camisole underneath if necessary) v flattering to larger norks.

Yeah agree with wrap tops, Bravissimo do these as well, so they actually fit, rather than gaping open and being held together by safety pins.

If you are well endowed (I'm a 34DD and always have been), Gossard do some very nice bras. King of balconet for the big busted, but expensive so probably only for special occasions, is Aubade, if you ask me. Surprisingly, Next bras aren't bad and they are very, very cheap as well as pretty!

Thanks thanks thanks!! All this is a HUGE help. Will seek out suggested items and give update

Oooh how about this:

wrap top

or this

would this accentuate my non-pregnancy bump?

I think you have to be careful. I am a stylist and you really need to see the person to get a good idea of what suits them. Need to take in your colouring, personality, features. I would say for you to imagine who your celebrity twin would be, (someone around the same build, age and style you admire). This is makes it easier to get a picture of what style you like. The top from ASOS is nice but I suspect the fabric is quite thin which is not great for hiding tums.

I'm getting into my stride now

Feel free to interrupt if I'm going horribly wrong.

The killah jacket is wicked

How tall are you?

Thanks fashionsista. I think probably someone like Kate Winslet. Similar(ish) body-shape and colouring, and I admire her style.

Damn I'm slow at typing . I'm 5'6"