HELP! Where does a 30year old buy clothes from these day?

[StrawberryGiraffe]

Someone please tell me, now I'm 30 where should I be shopping for clothes? I feel I'm stuck in a style rut where I'm too old to look at river island and New look, but still young enough to not have to shop at m&s!

I usually buy everything from Next but just recently I don't like anything and it all seems very dull and boring.

I think it's more about style than age. I shop at Zara, H&M and Topshop. That said, I've also picked up good pieces in Asda and Balmain so it really depends. I'm a similar age to you.

A mix really. I like Oasis and Warehouse. Boden for jeans and the odd dress or top. Joules for Breyon tops that I swear I won't get any more of but which lure me with their comfort! Primark if your timing us right. Occasionally New Look.

Of course you're not too old for new look and river island! I'm not sure anyone ever is to be honest, you just look for the pieces that suit you amongst all of it. I'm 36 this year and buy my clothes all over the place from everywhere - Tu at sainsburys, New look, top shop, Boden, yours (!), seasalt, primark, fat face, river island, Asos etc etc. I have put weight on as I've got older and I'm now a size 16/18 so my style has changed but the shops haven't.

If you feel stuck in a rut clothes wise I would grab 10 things in a shop in your size and try them on even if they're things you wouldn't normally go for. It will give you some fresh ideas and might surprise you with something you didn't think would work and it does.

why does being 30 make you too old for the shops you mention? It seems that there is a thread every week on here from women asking where should they shop now they've turned 30. Just buy the things you like surely. I see bloggers all the time in their 40s who shop in river island, top shop, h&m, primark, asos. Mixed with m&s, mango, Zara, fcuk, whistles. Buy the things you like from wherever you find them after having a look around. No offence meant at all, but I am approaching 40 and I'm sick of hearing women who are thirty saying they're too old for certain shops. I do get that certain shops cater for certain age groups but at 30 you can shop wherever you like.

I'm 31 and shop mostly in warehouse, oasis and mango but so still get some nice bits in new look, river island and top shop - agree it's about picking bits you like and not about age, although I do avoid obviously teen stuff like crop tops. Love fairlylea's idea of picking out a big pile of stuff you wouldn't normally try just to see what you're missing - will do that myself when I next go shopping especially as all the Autumn clothes come in soon, hurrah for jumpers and boots

Oh Fairylea I love your suggestion about grabbing ten items just to try. I've just lost five and a half stone and am still getting used to it so I'll definitely give that idea a go soon!

I know what you mean, I am sure a few months ago I bought everything from Topshop but now all of a sudden I purchased my first top from Hobbs and Topshop clothes look ridiculous on me.

I go to Zara, Warehouse and Oasis for everyday clothes and decent work clothes.

For a treat French Connection, Whistles and Cos.

I would like to shop in Ted Baker and Reiss but I can't afford it.

I'm 30 and feel practically geriatric when near a Topshop or River Island. So much Lycra.

I've just turned 30 and agree with pp - there isn't anywhere I'd rule out, but at the same time you can't ignore that certain shops do aim their brand at teens/students, which tends to mean shorter hemlines, cheaper fabrics, etc. If you're starting to feel uncomfortable with NL for instance, that might be why?

What about warehouse, oasis, massimo dutti, banana republic, uniqlo? Also asos but quality is a bit hit and miss.

You're never too old for TopShop: if you can fit the clothes, you can shop there. Likewise, I think, for New Look and River Island.

Seriously, it's one thing to decide you want to change your style because you feel you've changed and it no longer expresses you, it's another to start getting angsty about being "too old" for things you like. There is huge cultural pressure on women (and you can double that for mothers,) to conform in some way to weird, not-so-clear cultural pressures. We tend to express that mostly around "age".

Think hard about what you mean when you say "too old". Deconstruct it a bit. Ten to one, sexuality, and looking sexy, might be at the bottom of it. Or something even weirder about looking "respectable", "dependable", "like a mum". Or even - and this is a bit controversial - "more expensive": as though you are some kind of walking advert for career success tracking your years (I reckon this can be traced back to ideas about women being living signifiers of a husband's [economic] power). What is that all about?

With regard to your question, I agree with previous posters suggesting you think about your style first, and go shopping second - you'll find the items you want in a range of shops. I like Hush (but I'm older than you!) and tend to look at the on-line catalogue and keep an eye out for cheaper versions of the same items.

By the way, Marks and Spencer have some really nice dresses in the Ltd Collection at the moment, and their trousers can be utterly great. And cheap. So don't dismiss them out of hand.

Honestly, I think there is such a strong cultural machine coercing women generally, but mothers in particular, into some kind of cultural conformity. It all makes me want to run out in fishnets and a leather mini-skirt.

Marmalade85 that is what I was getting at. Everything at the moment seems to be aimed towards teens with crop tops, see-through material and Lycra. Recently bits I have bought have barely survived two washes! I like the idea of getting a few different pieces to try so will give that a go when I go shopping this week. I think my main issue is that I don't have a style, I am never sure what suits me and worry that everything i do try is "too stylish" for me to wear and I will end up looking silly.

Strawberry I feel your pain. I felt like this last year just after I turned thirty. After a few months of feeling crap & feeling like I'd lost my identity I did something about it.

I was inspired by the big thread about "how to look expensive" I got some great tips on there.

I think the best one I took on board was to get my colours matched. You can do this easily on Pinterest. I only wear about 4 colours now so keep a capsule wardrobe rather than buying into new styles every season that frankly don't suit everyone regardless of what some people think.

Once you do that you can then go out & try various shops until you find what suits you. I go by these things, do I look how I want to look, ie presentable, expensive, well groomed/put together, comfy, appropriate for the occasion.

For example I bought skinny kakhi jeans & a gold/cream t-shirt style top from next. I can wear them with sneakers, oversized jumper & dress jewellery & do the school run or I can wear them with my leather jacket, chunky heeled boots & my good jewellery & go out for casual drinks with the girls.

This has literally saved my self-esteem, I felt really lost for ages. I've taken on board other tips from that particular thread but for me that was by far the best one. I hope that helps a bit.

I'm twice your age and I shop at New Look and River Island. One of my favourite shops is H&M where, if you keep on walking past the crop tops, you can find plenty of basics that are wearable at any age. No, the quality isn't always great but to be honest, I don't find higher end shops much better.

I mix with stuff I find all over the place: Whistles, Uniqlo, Boden, TK Maxx and yes, even Marks and Spencer.

I also agree with what thecat says. I'm all for changing your look from time to time - it stops you getting into a rut. But so many posters seem to have very fixed ideas of what a 30/40/50 year old woman should look like (I don't think 60 year olds even enter their heads) and I have to say I find it a bit tiresome sometimes.

LadyMary thank you so much for the advise, I will look up the thread and have a look. Do you happen to have a link to the Pinterest page for colour matching? I haven't used that site before?

I understand the criticism of the idea that there is a dress 'code' for your age, and I am a big supporter of women wearing whatever the hell they like.

However, I suspect I am like many women in that my body has taken a beating in my 30s. I am not in the shape I was in my 20s, and the idea of wearing something like a crop top is, frankly, horrific. (I'm not saying it's wrong for other women, but it's definitely wrong for me). I don't want to dress 'sexily' or for male attention, but I would like to feel that I had some dignity to be 'me' in my own clothes without going into full-on old lady tweeds. I like clothes that I can only describe as 'architecty' - well cut to the point of severity, simple, non-floral, non-Bodeny.

But perhaps because I spent my 20s strutting around in mini skirts and thigh-high boots I have absolutely no idea how to achieve this look or where to shop now. I really feel miserable and lost when I'm shopping. I find it very hard to find clothes that fit, and I end up quite literally sobbing because I just hate the whole experience of buying clothes so much. I am currently in a total state because I literally have reached a point where I have 3 dresses and 3 pairs of leggings and ALL of them have holes in. So I have nothing that looks good to wear, and I can't find anything in the shops.

Have you had a look at Uniglo? all simple, no fussy cut basics

Oh book you are always riding to my rescue! Uniqlo is a great idea - I'm in London at the weekend so I will go there and see if I can find a new dress!

Thank you for being so lovely.

I am early thirties and still look in the same places as I used to: Top Shop, Miss Selfridge, River Island, but I just find I don't like anything! I don't know what's changed, me or the shops I don't feel like I dress THAT differently to 10 years ago.

I buy nearly everything in H&M now, or Superdry if I'm feeling flush. New Look is still alright sometimes. Online I like Boo Hoo.

OP, I am you! I wondered around my local shops and felt decidedly uninspired. I unfortunately can't get away with a crop top but not ready for Wallis, M&S or Next either and can't afford the more expensive ones.

Mango, Topshop and bits of H&M and Zara are good. TK Maxx also has some stuff. I find tops the trickiest and end up wearing a bit of a uniform of dresses even though I like jeans and a t-shirt.

Shove if you're going to the Regent Street Uniqlo then try &Other Stories as well which is just up the road (indeed I think it has a Regent St entrance). It's at the Oxford Circus end. Some lovely stuff in there at good prices - very much the simple, well cut, architecty stuff you describe. It's Swedish - think H&M's older sister? (Just googled it - it IS H&M's sister company!)

Shove you should also try Cos - very architecty -also part of the H&M group - more so than & Other Stories, and a bit further down Regent Street than & Other Stories.

I'm in my early 30s and do feel too old for places like River Island. I have a corporate job, though, so that may be a factor.

I tend to shop mostly in Hobbs, Zara, the odd bit of Boden, Next, LK Bennett and Jaeger in the sales. I have also a dreadful penchant for Primark Christmassy novelty jumpers...

Having said that, I popped into H&M the other day I hadn't been in years and was pleasantly surprised. Came out with a pair of 'fun' earrings, in fact!

I started a similar thread recently so I feel like I "get it." I find a lot of what's in the shops at the moment is very "TLC in the 90s" and I would look a complete bellend in it. At the same time, I find a lot of clothes that aren't "on trend" as they say, are too dull and mumsy.

My problem is partly that at 30 I am now a stay at home mum (oh the irony) and the clothes I now like are more suited to a 30 year old who works in a professional job and has after work drinks in sophisticated bars. I have never been that person. So my current mission is to find versatile, sophisticated but casual clothes that I can wear to take my baby out and about. For me, plain casual dresses seem to be the way forward. They go with any jewellery, can be worn with trainers and a leather jacket or a cardigan and smart pumps... I agree with pp that Pinterest is a good place to start!