Do you ever comment positively on a woman's appearance?

[Destinysdaughter]

Reading the thread about negative comments pp have had made about how they look, I was thinking about the opposite and is it ok to do so. I often look at a woman and think, I like what you're wearing, or you've got lovely hair etc, but I very rarely say it. I was in the pub on Saturday and a woman said to me, you look gorgeous, which was so nice, and a bit of a shock! It did make me feel good about myself and its rare to get that from another woman, if it's from a guy, I just think he's coming on to me and discount it.

So, how do we feel about this, ok or not?

Yes! I've even walked up to people and told them I like their shoes etc. I have ASD so I guess I lack 'filter'!

Last week, one of my students told me I looked lovely (we were all dressed up for a fancy dinner at a posh university) and I complimented her jazzy lipstick.

Maybe complimenting strangers isnt that weird after all dunno if im brave enough to try it through.

Dd wears superheto teeshirts she does get nice shirt from geeksstrangers think its a geekthing though

At work yes, and occasionally I'll ask a stranger where she got her shoes/coat etc. I'm most likely to stop to tell a stranger that she's got a label sticking out of her dress or her cardigan on inside out but actually that's a compliment too, because I wouldn't bother with a woman who generally looked like she was wearing clothes picked off the bedroom floor at random, only women who've evidently dressed with care and might mind having the look spoiled by a single flaw.

(NB this is not a value judgement: 8 days out of 10 I fall into the "picked at random off bedroom floor" camp myself.)

I do. Usually it's clothes but I occasionally comment on hair too.

If somebody is wearing something unusual and pulling it off I usually tell them how lovely it is, my midwife had this gorgeous skirt the other week that she managed to find in a charity shop apparently and it was stunning, really bright and colourful and she managed to find a top that suited it perfectly. I love charity shop shopping and always seem to miss out on the wonderful finds! I'm trying to be more adventurous but I have no clue how people managed to work out colour combos that work, especially with things that are very patterned or bright!

A few weeks ago I'd gone to an afternoon festival ( so had had some
wine ), and was walking home early evening. There were two young Asian women walking down the street and one of them looked stunning in a beautiful chiffon type green and gold salwar kameez, as we passed, I said, you look lovely. And then felt bad for her friend who was just wearing casual clothes!

Yes, I will pretty much always tell a woman of my acquaintance if she looks good.

Yes, I often compliment strangers but it has to be genuine and heartfelt, I'm not gushy, it's great to see their faces light up. I once was truly blown away by this girl in Desigual in Oxford Street she was so beautiful and graceful, I told her and she said her self esteem was really low. Very sad, she was gorgeous.

I always compliment other women,especially the young women I work with, who get negative and down right rude comments of members of the public. I tell them everyday that they look nice or their hair is nice ( which it always is)

No im not gushy I think gushyness is really false and cringy

Why would you think it's "false" MrsJayy. I don't think anyone on this thread has said "Yes, I am routinely over-effusive about other women's appearance even when I think they look hideous as part of a deceitful strategy to gain personal advantage". Unless I missed one? When we compliment a woman's appearance it's generally motivated by an honest appreciation of her style choices.

Not to strangers. Friends and work colleagues, yes (colleague who sits nearby got a new haircut recently - a pixie cut which really suits her - so I told her it was fantastic, 'cos it was).

I do all the time to friends/acquaintances. Occasionally to strangers if they have a particularly nice top/shoes/skirt and I am already interacting with them in some way. Eg. was stood in a queue, bemoaning the length of it, at the weekend with a woman wearing a bight blue jumpsuit with small floral pattern on it. "Nice jumpsuit" I said ans she looked really pleased.

I have a mother who has never, ever said anything nice about what I wear. It used to give me a bit of a complex so I think I may over compensate.

Yes to friends and colleagues, no to strangers. I would find it creepy to be approached by a stranger - male or female - to be told that I looked gorgeous or had lovely hair etc.

Interesting that most pp make a distinction between giving a compliment to someone they know and a stranger, maybe we should do it more!

Gushy people just seem false to me there is someone I know who is gushy to another woman we know she is just up her backside it doesnt look to me genuine. Depends on your own definition of gushy i suppose

I think there's the risk of weirdness if you remark on somebody's inborn physical appearance as opposed to their styling choices. So "what fabulous hair" is risky if they happen to have lovely chestnut curls, but fine if they've got a red white and blue ombré or a pink Mohican. Remarking on someone's body is only OK if you're down the gym and comparing muscles they've worked hard to achieve, or at Slimming World where they're about to win Loser of the Year.

"That's a great insert item of clothing" is always fine unless there is a risk that you'll give off the impression that you appreciate the appearance of the body beneath it rather than the garment itself. So a straight woman saying "what a great jumpsuit" is fine. A straight man saying "I really like that miniskirt on you" may be dodgy.

It is always OK to comment positively on a woman's nail art.

Unusually I wore a bright multi coloured knee length dress (bought on hols in Crete) the other day and as I came out of the supermarket someone said "Wow, that has really brightened my day" - I was v chuffed (am mid sixties) and thought how kind of her to say.

Just never say 'you look well' or that leads to all sorts of trouble

I've told strangers they look lovely and have occasionally had it happen to me and it has made my day

I do it all the time, I've stopped people in shops or even on the street to say "I love that it's gorgeous, where's it from?" I comment on people's hair, make up, clothes etc all the time! I can't stand bitchy people who make bitchy comments on people. If we can't give each other a compliment then there's something wrong

I do this all the time to people I know and strangers. I remember years ago being in the US heavily pregnant wearing a flowery maxi dress and a woman walking towards me and stopped and said "oh my goodness you are the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen" now I clearly wasn't 😂 But it made me feel less fat awkward and sweaty so I do like to compliment people as I know it's a lovely feeling. I very often in queues or in a cafe turn and say to a woman you have beautiful hair or your outfit is gorgeous or you look stunning
It's nice to be nice 👌🏽

I sometimes say it when I'm out and about. If I see a random woman in the ladies with a lovely top or scarf I will comment on it. People are always taken aback and DELIGHTED when you do it, so it is a real feel-good thing to do IMHO. I wouldn't say it if I weren't being genuine, though, and I usually only do it when I REALLY love something!

I think it's lovely when people do and it's happened a few times to me. Just the other day I was in the supermarket after work and a lady came up to me and said she doesn't normally do this but wanted to tell me she thought I looked beautiful, lovely dress and amazing shoes. It does take you back a bit, but it's a nice confidence boost, so I can't see the harm in it. If I see someone who l think looks nice, or is wearing something I like, I do the same.

Yes, to women I don't know, on what they are wearing. And it's been muttered to me in the past that I might have ADHD, so the link PPs have made between the complimenting strangers habit and the condition is an interesting one for me.
As another PP said, I too come from a family that very rarely made positive comments about appearance so I try hard to do the opposite. Recently my sister even complimented me on my ability to pay a genuine compliment, as she found it so difficult.
I make a habit of admiring glasses too, to fellow wearers.

If I see a woman wearing a nice coat/skirt/dress etc I do often compliment them and ask where it is from. My ulterior motive can be that I want to try it for myself, if it is in my price range!