I just never seem to get it right, zero confidence

[craptastic]

In the past few years I have slimmed from a size 18/20 to a size 12, yet I have less confidence in how I look and the way I dress now than when I was overweight. I feel that I shouldn't moan now I have more choice of where I can shop and what I can wear, but this is really getting me down.

I very rarely feel comfortable in anything I wear, due to having an awkward shape and a bit of excess skin (on arms, thighs and belly). I have a whole wardrobe of clothes but find myself wearing the same couple of outfits on rotation (leggings and boyfriend shirts mostly), but I want to look more feminine/different/summery.

I wore skinny jeans, a loose silk vest top and thin cardi yesterday, thought I looked ok, but saw myself in a shop window and realised it didnt fit my bust well, hung too loose so made me look bigger, and I felt uncomfortable all day. I don't know if I am choosing the wrong styles, wrong sizes, wrong shapes, or if it's just all in my head.

The trend for boxy type tshirts look awful on me, tight tops show my belly, loose tops make me look bigger, I can't win! Skinny jeans look ok but I struggle to find nice tops that cover my bum. I just don't know how to dress, and I don't have the money to keep buying something, liking it and then realising my mistake when I wear it again.

I think I am a rectangle shape. 32FF bust with narrow shoulders. Not a particularly defined waist, flat bum, slightly chunky thighs, legs ok from knee down.

Can anyone help, or is anyone a similar shape and size? Where do you shop and what clothes suit you?

I'm a 10-12in top and find I need at least a 12 in oasis tops. They are great everyday tops though. Just beware the viscose ones do shrink up a wee but so I just run them through the handwash cycle on my washing machine instead of in the normal 40 degree wash and problem solved.

Well I have ordered a few tops, all in size M, so I shall hope for the best! Will definitely handwash just to be safe, thanks.
I'm also going to try them on at least 5 times before taking the tags off and take selfies. I can't waste any more money!

Not sure if any of these might suit.

www.bravissimo.com/m/pepperberry/#products/dresses/day-dresses/joanna-maxi-dress/black/pd592blk/

www.bravissimo.com/m/pepperberry/#products/dresses/day-dresses/nala-maxi-dress/khaki-print/pd536kpt/

www.bravissimo.com/m/pepperberry/#products/sale/dresses/maxi-dresses/alexa-maxi-dress/yellow/pd427yel/

The yellow one is beautiful but very bright. They are cut for a larger bust. Plenty more on the website.

Thank you, will take a look at Pepperberry

Well the oasis shop was somewhat successful. I got a lovely straight up and down maxi dress which suits me. I wore it with a denim jacket but need to find a light cardigan to wear with it too. I kept a khaki shirt dress which I love, I just need the confidence to bare my legs (shape is fine but they need some colour!). I kept a few tshirts, breton style and a boyfriend tshirt which is loose and a nice colour on me. I sent back a pair of boyfriend jeans, give up on those as they just do me no favours. I ordered what I thought was a plain white tee but it was off white so did nothing but make me look sickly and again, too see through.
For reference to anyone who is interested, size M was pretty much spot on for me (size 12), apart from the boyfriend jeans which were too big but that may have just been the style.
So a couple more bits in my wardrobe I'm happy with, but the search will go on!

m.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ladies-Size-12-French-Connection-Maxi-Dress-/302008857401?nav=SEARCH

This style of maxi dress from French connection is super flattering imo.

They do a version every season, in different prints or plain.

They are sold out in your size on the FC and JL websites but may be worth checking your local store.

Hi OP,
I have big hips and find boxy tops make me look bigger than i am, but dont like tops clinging to my belly.
I wear a lot of 'skater' style dresses that nip in under the bust but skim my belly and are flattering and comfortable. I wear with leggings. Or if they are longer style I'll get my legs out (knee down).
Could give them a look?

Thanks for the replies.
Will check out french connection puglife.
I like skater dresses, would they look silly with 3/4 leggings? Or will it not look very summery?

I wear them with long and 3/4 length leggings with sandals or converse with those shoe sock things. So can be v versatile. Looks summery but the bits i dont like are covered so i feel comfortable. Can dress up or down with jewellery and cardis. If you get a short sleeved one but don't like your arms a floaty blouse worn open looks summery and keeps you cool.

Try Cos for plain t shirts. They're really nice quality and they do quite a few styles in white so you're bound to find one that suits your shape

Thanks Seefeld, will take a look

If you haven't already, definitely look up the bra intervention threads to make sure your bra fits correctly. It really does wonders.

Thanks Plan, I did that a while ago and it was very helpful. Made me realise why I find it difficult to dress my top half, having a small back, narrow shoulders but big boobs!

I find that high street clothes can be massively improved by getting them altered to fit better. For a few pounds my dry cleaner can make a big difference to how my clothes look. Like you I have a narrow back and taking a dress in can make me look way better.

I too was having a style crisis, (or lack of) you may find this helpful
www.un-fancy.com/capsule-wardrobe-101/free-printable-wardrobe-planner/