Can anyone help me with my dd1's hair?

[Privilegeismine]

She is almost 13 and always had this type of hair. I'm white and her dad is mixed race.

As you can see from the photos (that I have hopefully added), her hair is neither straight or curly. Whether I straighten or curl it, it always ends up frizzy.

I have tried many products over the years but nothing seems to make a difference. Currently, we are using mixed chicks shampoo and leave in conditioner. She washes and brushes her hair on a night and I plait it while wet. The next morning we just brush it through and put it in a bun or pony tail.

Now she is in secondary school, kids have started commenting on her 'frizzy hair' and she HATES it. I tell her her hair is beautiful but she doesn't believe it. It is not helped by DD2's long, curly, frizz free hair.

Is there anything I can try that would make a difference?

She is absolutely beautiful!

Stop using hair brushes, use combs! Apply hair mask at least once a week - I would recommend Elvive, it works really well with my own hair. If not, I am guessing they would be able to help you choose the best product if you go to a pharmacy!

The hair looks dry. Washing and conditioning all the time leaves hair like hers dry. Invest in hair creams and oils and sprays. I know I have seen on Mn where mothers have said they don't like the oiliness of hair because it makes it greasy but the oils is to moisturise the hair. You should see black or mixed race woman dresser. It's full of hair cproducts and sometimes you have to experiment by mixing to find the right one. Just using one sometimes does not work or help.

Remember that her hair loses oils while yours builds up.
Washing every day is a no no. Usually people say wash it every one to two week weeks depending on the person.

Do not blow dry. Don't use a relaxers or texturisers. It will destroy the scalp and baby hair which can lead to hair thinning.
In an extreme case try dr.miracle spray.
More extreme I would try sulfer 8. The smell is not great but the spray works. Best result on day two without washing. She should mosturise her hair everyday. The hair should look better on day two.

Start going to black salons for steaming. It's extreme hair conditioning. You should do it every now and then.

From home, you can use hair mayonese. Use a plastic cap and blow dry to heat it up. For about ten mins. Then wash it off. Never leave it on without rinsing. You should try weekly hair conditioning with hair mayonse even without the cap for ten minutes.

Use your fingers to untangle or a wide tooth comb.

try pink lotions for cream. I don't beleive that ORS olive creams are good. A lot of people use it but they dry up quickly.
Your daughters hair texter looks kinky. It will take work. It will never really be completely soft looking if that is what your looking for without creams , prays and maintace.

You may also want to try dax for extreme cases but you may not need it. It does make it greasy but it pulls the hair together. For the front baby hair, you can use Afro hair gels to keep it in place. You do not use it on the whole hair just the front.

Her hair is lovely even in the state it's in now.

If you live in London try going to Finsbury Park. Paks cosmetics in Strout green road sell lots of hair products. I have never bought from their online store. Amazons might be best.

what about co-washing?

I would try these:

1. Wash with a silicone and sulfate free shampoos and conditioners

1. DON'T BRUSH! Detangle only with fingers and comb into shape

1. Add plenty of product - try Tesco blue gel, it's similar to the Boots Curl Creme but is only about 40p so if you like it, you can experiment with loads of it!

1. Scrunch the product into the hair, try not to use fingers to drag it downwards

1. Leave to dry naturally or dry using a diffuser. Resist the urge to touch until it's dry - it will dry crispy. Once dry, scrunch the crisp out. The curls should be beautifully defined and soft

1. Make up a spray bottle of water and conditioner (experiment with amounts) and use it to wet the wispy bits in the morning

This will probably work well for your other daughter as well. I sympathise with her, my hair is curly and my mum had no idea what to do with it - it was a frizzy triangle until I was about 13, I hated it. I love it now.

I love her hair! She is gorgeous and looks confident.

Have you tried the Aussie shampoos and frizz ease?

I would suggest letting it dry naturally.

Op what type of shampoo do you use?

You may want to try creme of nature shampoo. For my daughter I use beautiful beginnings(dark and lovely shampoo from superdrugs ). For my own hair I use creme of nature or pink lotion shampoo. I used to use Pantene and it made my hair feel dry.

I have not used this before but it's for making hair twisty. You get it from super drugs too.
www.superdrug.com/Hair/Black-%26-Asian-Hair-Care/Ethnic-Hair-Treatments/Twisted-Sista-30-Second-Curl-Spray-236ml/p/701404

www.superdrug.com/Hair/Black-%26-Asian-Hair-Care/Ethnic-Hair-Treatments/Twisted-Sista-De-Frizz-Polishing-Serum-150ml/p/423713

I know someone who uses this one and it works for them

www.superdrug.com/Hair/Black-%26-Asian-Hair-Care/Ethnic-Hair-Treatments/Dark-and-Lovely-Au-Naturale-Curl-Defining-Creme-Glaze-397g/p/400803

You might want to include this one two.

www.superdrug.com/Hair/Black-%26-Asian-Hair-Care/Ethnic-Hair-Treatments/Twisted-Sista-Amazing-Dream-Curl-Gel-354ml/p/701405

Hopefully the links will help.

Sorry for the spelling mistake there.

I have 3 mixed race children all with slightly different texture hair plus loads of mixed race female family.

I use sofn'free olive and sunflower oil shampoo, conditioner and moisturising lotion.

I wash hair every two weeks, even weekly causes the hair to dry out too much in my children. Do not towel dry by rubbing, no blow drying or relaxing. Just scrunch dry and comb through with a wide tooth comb. Spray in conditioning detangling spray (Cantu, Taliah Waajid tangles out or sofn'free olive oil are good ones) and comb through.

Daily I spray in leave in spray and comb through. I then add sofn'free moisturising lotion and brush with a denman hair brush if plaiting. If leaving hair down I would spray, comb, cream, comb and scrunch. I always spray, comb, cream, comb and plait before bed if hair has been out in the day to reduce knotting.

You can order these brands online if you search you can find through Amazon and Ebay. Where are you in the Midlands? Birmingham, Nottingham, Derby and Leicester all have black hair shops that will stock products.

Hi,
I can see your concern about your daughter's hair. There's this web-site - fashionpotluck.com/profile/curlbellaa - Take a look at Curlbella profile, because she have very good tips frizzy hair. I hope I can help.

Ditto what everyone else has said about not brushing, products etc. I'll only add that when you've found a product that works to give the desired effect after scrunching, then she might just need to add more and rescrunch throughout the day.

I think it looks great down as it is, but if she really wants to straighten it to wear down, perhaps braids could be a middle ground, rather than risking damaging it with anything permanent. Not thinking cornrows, just large numbers of individual plaits straight from the scalp iyswim.

I have frizzy and dry middle eastern hair... so it's similar but not the same.

Something that works for me is changing the typical washing routine to: putting conditioner in my ends, leaving it on. then shampooing my scalp. NOT shampooing the ends - not lifting or scrunching the ends against the scalp. Then rinsing the shampoo and conditioner out (again, no scrunching). Then adding more conditioner on the ends below the ears, leave it for a few minutes while I get on with other things in the shower. Rinse thoroughly. Add leave-in conditioner. If I blow dry, then I might add a hair oil on top when it's dry (also using heat protector).

I realise that sounds like a LOT of conditioner but frizzy hair needs it. It gets very very dry by itself. With this routine it's glossy and healthy but not greasy.

It's also a routine that doesn't require a trip to the shop or purchase of any products to try! Just change the way you're using your current conditioner and shampoo. I also use SLS free products. It does feel weird at first, not foaming, and also not scrunching the hair to the scalp, but you get used to it pretty quickly. My hair is in great condition right now.

FWIW I personally find it easier to use oil on dry hair because it's much easier to see if I've put too much on! I've put oil on wet hair and I always end up looking greasy because I've misjudged it and put way too much on.

Dont relax it!!!