What do I need?

[HelpALostCause]

Beginning to panic. Night out on Friday with DH. First for over 4 years, second in nearly 7. Going to the ballet in London . I have a darkish blue, knee length (cocktail?) dress. Since, well, 4 years ago, I have put on 5kg and developed a tummy. The dress was bought before either of the DC came along... I bought some sports underwear the other week and DH took one look at it and asked if they were control pants. Clearly I need some. I know nothing about them. What should I be looking for? Do's/don'ts?

Shoes, feet have grown since I bought shoes. Thanks DD! But I can probably squeeze into a pair. Sandals? Closed toe? Black? Purple?

What should i wear on the legs? Tights? I have some fake tan brown masquerading as skin coloured (my legs are actually white) that my mum left last time she was here and I have some old black school tights from, ahem, 15 odd years ago. And the white stockings I wore at my wedding.

Make up, I never wear, but I'll look totally underdressed and inferior if I don't wear any won't I? Argh! DH once told me that no make up looks better than badly done make up so since then I've not worn any. I still have the stuff I bought for my wedding (someone did it for me) 10 years ago though.

What does one wear with a dress? I'm likely to get cold, can take a coat to go there, but inside, is a black scarf that I can wrap around me ok?

Hair up or down? Shoulder length, vaguely remember someone once told me there are rules for up/down depending on whether the dress has straps?

Can you tell I never go out? What do I need to do/think about so I don't stand out like an idiot? Very limited budget and only one morning this week, after hair cut, when I can shop. I need to know what I need. Is there any hope?

Jeans t-shirt fleece/raincoat
Long or knee length linen trousers t-shirt fleece/raincoat in summer.

We have no money as we've saved for this trip to London and still recovering from moving house two years ago. Nothing more sinister

Can you describe the jacket? (I do have something in mind!)

Agree with others who say cocktail dress will be too much. We're in London and go to quite a few arts events (theatre and music mainly) and most people don't dress up to the degree you've mentioned. It is HOT at the moment and you'll be sweaty and uncomfortable in tights.

What clothes do you have that you like already and that fit? Do you think a nice top, a necklace and a bit of makeup would hopefully be enough to feel special as well as comfortable?

Have a lovely time - sounds like you deserve it.

Maybe its all irrelevant :( Looks like DH, having booked the day off months ago, is now being told he has to work late (as in really late, won't be home before DC bed time, when he starts work at 630 so rarely sees DC in the morning) all week or come in on Friday.

Oh no, what a shame! Do his work normally do things like that ? I don't understand why they can't get someone else to cover, most employers would be reasonable if he explains the occasion .

Have you already bought the tickets , and if so, will you go with a friend instead ?

He's a project leader and was assigned it whilst away on an emergency meeting last week. So he didn't see the kids half of last week, and if he works late every day this week he won't see them until Saturday when we would get back. DS begged him not to go and is v. unsettled at the moment. (This is probably what swayed him, although he won't admit it) He was home for dinner last night, work late tonight and will be home tomorrow. He also reckons he can leave once he's had the project handover meeting at lunch time on Friday. Its a project that basically has gone tits up and he has to rescue it and risk being the scapegoat if he's not there. I've cancelled the flights, he's cancelled the hotel. Seems we can't cancel/refund the show tickets, but I'm asking around to see if anyone wants them. His employer is not known for being reasonable. MIL is worried its because FIL was making a fuss about having the DC. She's offered to take me and the DC out for the day instead!

I see, that's a shame. I guess you bought fully flexible tickets, if you have been able to get your money back for the flights ? Or are you planning to claim on your travel insurance ? If so, have you checked that your reason for cancelling is covered by your policy ?

I didn't realise that you lived so far from London . In that case you might find it hard to find someone locally who can use the tickets , as they woudl have to get a flight and accommodation as well.

So if you insurance claim is valid, that might cover the theatre tickets too .

It's a shame that he has to work such long hours and do emergency work and yet he's so poorly paid . That must be very hard for you all.

It is a shame about this particular event. (I'm sure you've checked all the possibilities regarding your tickets?)

But you will still have an anniversary to celebrate - just longer to prepare for it. And I hope in the meantime you'll find some opportunities for smaller outings.

Don't give up!

No, we lost the fare, but get refunded the airport taxes (which are 3/4 the total price anyway!) I have a couple of friends in London, so I've offered and am waiting on an answer.

We are going away with the in laws to a self catering place in the summer so hopefully we'll be able to leave the DC in bed one evening and go out for a meal.

Ideally I would get a job, but I had to turn the last one I was offered down as I just couldn't commit to it because of child care (DS at this stage wouldn't cope with extra time than he has to in the school setting) and cant really rely on him being able to be home at a certain time. He's in line for a promotion and raise next year and doesn't want to rock the boat.