Somebody help me stop spending...

[clutterfly]

It's so easy to buy online now, that I think I've kind of become a little addicted...
I genuinely get excited about the thought of a package arriving / waiting for me at home. And I can justify this charade to myself as, more often than not, things don't look/fit right and i end up sending them back. But then I'm off on my eternal quest again!! Is anyone else the same? Surely this isn't healthy!! Any tips for stopping myself and jumping off this merry-go-round? Or is it harmless fun?

I do this too. I have an eBay and Amazon addiction I try deleting the apps, but it only helps for a while. It's definitely to make myself feel better.

I need to stop.I'm not in debt right now, but I don't have a lot of money. I'll take a look at the book mentioned. Thanks.

Don't, whatever you do, join MrsGloss&TheGoss on Facebook. I do and now I can't stop spending on all the lovely things that people recommend

Such good advice everyone, thanks. I will try that blog and that book - both sound very interesting. I know that there'll always be a bargain or something that I think will 'complete' my wardrobe (or me!) but I guess I should know by now that it never does. I've unsubscribed to loads of shops this evening, the ones that email me EVERY DAY! Hopefully I'll be in control now. When I need something, I'll search for it rather that it 'finding me'. It's the marketing that's sucked me in and yes, the PayPal and 1-click purchasing. Taking back control...

My tip is to have online banking open when you're browsing. Every time you really want to buy something that you don't technically need, pay the money into an account (I use my ISA for this.) Do this for one month and see how much money you would have spent. That money could then be used as a payment against your credit card.

I did this for a few months to curb my impulsive coffee/casual eating out habit. Realised that what I was frittering away could seriously help pay off my overdraft or be used in a much more meaningful way.

I have just subscribed to that blog as well.

I shop every single day online. If I don't buy for myself, I buy clothes for my children. I know that I shop too much, I cleared out my wardrobe and it is already full again. I used the excuse for a while that my old pre kids clothes no longer fitted. I spent a shocking amount recently on clothes. I have an event this weekend and I tried on a lot of clothes (mostly unworn) to find that I have nothing suitable. Yet I have four new white shirts, six navy tops, five pairs of brown boots etc. It seems that I find something I like and then buy it multiple times.

I'm really annoyed with myself for not just buying a capsule wardrobe instead of tops, tops and more tops.

Every time I buy, I tell myself it will be the last time I buy for a certain length of time. I think I shop because there are areas of my life that I feel I have no control over and I'm not happy with certain things. Another reason I shop is because I have gained weight and I find it hard to look at myself in the mirror and see a bigger body looking back.

The ironic thing is that I have mountains of clothes in my wardrobes yet live ipj bottoms and an old hoodie when I am at home.

I hear that too looki - I culled 3 huge us closets worth of stuff down to half of 1 closet about 4 years ago, and its full to bursting with clothes i can't get into - I need to stop ignoring that elephant in the room too.

I have been a compulsive shopper and have needed (a lot of!) counselling to realise that for me I needed to feel more fulfilled, cherished and appreciated in my life in order not to want to fill the hole with shopping.
It is of course possible to just stop the shopping, but if you are like me then until I could address the underlying issues I would just go back to shopping or create a different zone of dysfunction in my life!
I like reading about Project 333, KonMari and the minimalism threads as a counterweight to our consumerist dominated media.
Part of my answer is to find activities that you enjoy doing more than you enjoy shopping and do them more! This might be meeting or phoning friends, reading, writing in my diary, something creative, exercise, learning a new skill. It's hard going though so a support group might be helpful. I think there are "no spend" groups on mumsnet.

Get yourself an adblocker extension for your internet browser too OP, it'll stop those ads popping up reminding you of what you were looking at on another site.

In general this type of behaviour is a symptom of something else when it no longer feels like harmless as you've indicated, figure out what your trigger is. It could simply be boredom, or wanting to reward yourself at the end of the day when it's spent being at the beck and call of others. Try to figure out an alternative way to receive that bit of self care and me-time instead.

I tend to store a lot of products in wishlists or in bookmarks and only if I can remember them a week or two later do I revisit the possibility of buying something. A more rigorous approach is to clean out your closets (starting with clothes) and throwing out what you're just not wearing or want to wear and send it to good will. Honestly, when you do finally manage to slim down to wear those pants you'll find them not as flattering as you thought. You'll be able to easily see what's missing, what you'd like more of, etc. make a list and then vow to only buy those pieces or if something needs replacing. Find incentives that'll work for you, for example putting away the money you would normally spend every time you find yourself wanting to buy something and put it in a separate savings account to put towards a family holiday or something otherwise you've wanted but high price tags make difficult. I tend to find you just want to keep the money at that point after all the effort put in.

There's always a fear that you don't have enough but having too much is usually overwhelming and most end up wearing/using a very small selection of items anyhow, not even knowing what's still hiding everywhere else that could be of use to so many others. Less is definitely more.

I wonder if anyone else is like me and has items hanging up in the wardrobe with the tags still on. I never used to understand this, but I think it's about not wanting to use it straight away as I want to savour the 'newness' of it. Bloody bonkers really, and I do usually end up using it eventually or sending it back or selling it on ebay, but at the moment I have about four or five items still with the tags on in there, waiting to be used.

I used to be very similar- shopping online every night.
Half the time by the time the parcel arrived, I couldn't remember what if ordered/ didn't like the item that much anymore.

What helped me was being skint while on maternity leave, and having a whole mindset change towards minimalism... I now have a capsule wardrobe and replace items as I need to rather than speculatively shop for random items. I always have something to wear as every item in my wardrobe is carefully chosen and good quality and fits me well.
I rarely buy when I see something- if I still like it enough to go back for it in a couple of days/ weeks AND if I need it and it fits me, then I will buy it then.

It's a way of life now, I don't even get tempted by online sales now.

maggiethemagpie

that's exactly me!

I used to do this a lot, but like a pp felt that I still had nothing to wear.

A couple of years ago I did Project 333, so basically chose my favourite stuff & stuff that went together and made a capsule wardrobe. This made me realise that I didn't need half of what I had, cue lots of ebaying, giving to charity shops etc. I also unsubscribe from loads of marketing emails.

This year I've done "style sudoku" and put together a number of wardrobes (work, summer, holiday, couple for spring/Autumn). The only shopping I'm allowing myself now is to fill in a gap in my wardrobe sudoku - it's working so far...

I love the idea of a capsule wardrobe! Maybe that's my problem, I'm not quite sure of the 'look' I'm aiming for and keep getting my choices wrong, hence the endless returns. I really need to think about some key classic/staple items and focus on finding those.

I remember during my pregnancy days that it was so much simpler with a much smaller selection of things that really seemed to work.

So what does a capsule wardrobe look like? Sorry, I know it's been quite done on mumsnet. Dare we start afresh???

I use eBay a lot..
Did a big cull of my wardrobe as did dh and I sold lots.
I also buy but quickly resell if it's not perfect.
I'm only dealing in sums like £5 or thereabouts and it serves the shopping urge.
Happy to buy 'used'.

My approach was:

Decide on the best neutral colours for me - I chose brown and navy

Look at what I had in these neutral colours to see if there were any "gaps" - did I need to buy any wardrobe staples in these colours that I currently had in colours that didn't suit me

Decide which colours really didn't suit me (black and some shades of blue) and pack them away

Decide which styles didn't suit me (there's several tools on Pinterest that tell you how to match body shape to best styles of jacket/trousers/etc)

Look at the rest of my wardrobe and pick things out that:

• make me feel good (fit, style, colour etc)
• go with the neutral colours to make outfits

Then pack everything else away.

Then look at what I had. I've seen various pages on how many of each thing (coats, dresses, trousers, skirts, tops) you should have for a capsule wardrobe - general rule seems to be: 2 coats/jackets, 3 dresses, 5 "bottoms" and 8 tops, although I'm not sure I've managed to get this far.

Then use the style sudoku to create outfits and see where you have gaps.

itscurtains thank you for your post - very helpful and really got me thinking! I didn't know there was a formula for a capsule wardrobe. Or that Pinterest thing that helps you define what suits your shape...

lady I'm encouraged by how you use eBay to satiate your shopping urges, will work harder at that myself! I know I always end up selling my stuff at bargain prices, just got to work out how I can snap up bargains myself!

I am terrible for shopping and have been since I got my first job at 16, followed by credit cards at university :(

I shopped to fill a massive void in my life - the thing I wanted most couldn't be bought so I would buy anything I wanted that could be bought. Despite counselling, this has stayed with me and has hit hard again recently as I'm in another position not being able to have what I want most in life.

I have debts which are crippling me. The repayments alone take 60% of my income so I end up putting stuff back on the credit card once I've created 'room' for it. It is embarrassing really as I have a good income. If I put my mind to it I could be debt free in just over a year, but at the moment I'm just treading water.

I've tried all the spending tracker apps but none of them worked for me, I know I spend too much - it wasn't like I didn't know what the money was going on. I've switched to paying for stuff in cash only with a weekly budget which is working better for me as I actually stop to think about it more.

My current weak spot is the one shop I have a credit account with - I can't close it as I still have a balance on it and the temptation is too great sometimes.

I'm going to order the To Buy or Not to Buy book - I'll try anything!

voxnihili with the credit account, every time you make a payment, ring them up and get the to reduce your credit limit accordingly. I've done this, and also with my credit card. Otherwise I was doing the same as you, and spending back up to my limit every time I had enough available and couldn't resist something. As the debt reduces, so will the interest, so you'll be ale to make more of a dent in the capital the lower you go.

I was a carer for a while and shopped a fair bit then as I found it soothing to counteract the stress.
Anyway I agree that getting a uniform is a good way forward.
I don't buy much now but if I do it is a limited to a few types of things. It certainly isn't capsule but it makes shopping easier.

Voxnihili shopping to fill a massive void sounds familiar. The book helped me, I know why I overshop but have also learned what I can do instead. When my life is full of stimulation and connections and I find other ways to soothe myself, there is no need to shop. Giving up shopping without finding other sources of relaxation and joy is like a diet - bound to fail. Good luck!

Funny story. Went rather mad on the online shopping last week and by pure coincidence (...or bad luck!) A hermes, dpd ,parcel force and fedex driver all turned up the same time handing over parcels. Never felt so embaressed as they where all cracking jokes. Annoying thing is they where due between 9-5 so waited in all day. Only for them ALL to turn up at same time at 16:50!!!

But this is me all over...I have figured out there is a direct corrolation between my moods and emotions and my shopping habits.

I was dling so well after years of obsessive shopping and debts.

Managed to get rid of about 20 bin bags of clothes.

Only problem is had a super stressfull few months and I am back at it again.

Determind to get sorted and out pf bad habbits again.