Cry for help! Fat, frumpy and need to get out of this rut!

[JustBeingJuliet]

Hoping I can get some ideas here. I'm heading rapidly towards 40, seem to have suddenly put weight on around my middle (always been a size 14-16 but always had a waist until recently!) and I'm struggling to get into a size 18 (I'm 5ft 7). I know I need to lose weight and I'm trying, but have a thyroid which isn't functioning properly, degenerative discs in my back and fibromyalgia to top it off, so exercise is limited.

I seem to have got into a habit of wearing almost a uniform - jeans or black trousers, vest top and long cardi - and have been seriously skint, but I've got a new job now and need to splash out on some new clobber!

I don't do leggings as I hate my legs and just don't feel comfortable. New job is working from home, so don't need workwear, it's more for when I venture out or go to meetings that I just want to feel less frumpy! Please give me ideas of what will look good on an overweight, under confident, slightly greying and permanently knackered mum?

To go to meetings, I would suggest a dress made out of jersey or silk jersey (Hobbs do the best ones, but you get them in loads of places. https://www.hobbs.co.uk/product/display?productID=0116-2340-155L000&productvarid=0116-2340-155L000-NAVY-IVORY-12&refpage=business-suits/suit-dresses Hobbs jersey dress] The stretchy fabric is very flattering. I'd put a Mac on top ( again Hobbs do good ones) in a colour that really suited me. Wool coat in Winter.

https://www.hobbs.co.uk/product/display?productID=0116-2340-155L000&productvarid=0116-2340-155L000-NAVY-IVORY-12&refpage=business-suits/suit-dresses link]

Sorry, can't get my link to work! If you look up the Sally dress on the Hobbs website you'll see what I mean.

I like the style of that dress :) Hobbs seem to have loads of nice stuff, never looked at them before!

I hear you OP.....I was a size 16 who's gone up to 18 and can't fit into lots of my stuff. I'm seriously trying to get my mojo back because I've always enjoyed fashion and clothes. So, it's quite hard to give someone fashion suggestions without knowing what their style is. I tend to live in slim trousers that hit the ankle and wear with either an ankle boot or a block heeled shoe or sandal. I'm not wild about loads of pattern but I like an interesting architectural detail or piece of modern jewellery. Cos do interesting stuff which I like - not all of it fits my shape well but it's modern and cool. Another brand related to Cos is called & Other Stories. I only know one shop on regent street but they are online. They do very cool, interesting clothes and a large selection of shoes and bags. A great stylish online retailer is called Finery....they are quite new but expanding. Saying all that the last 2 pieces I bought were jersey dresses from Jaeger. Slim but not body con....below the knee, sleeves to the elbow I think ( or bracelet length). One I bought from an outlet store in black and just wore it to a job interview with cool shoes from Cos but you could equally wear it with ankle boots and a slim leather jacket. The other I found in TK Maxx in a hot pink and I wore it with leggings and trainers ( I got them for £4o from £99). For inspiration I look on Pinterest and save ideas for those days where I feel uninspired. If you're up for a browse I would also check out J Crew for inspiration ( I'm not sure on the sidings though). I'll try and post some links.

Sizings. Damn you autocorrect

www.johnlewis.com/jaeger-seamed-detail-jersey-dress-midnight-blue/p2091216?sku=234550046&kpid=234550046&s_kenid=c759ae47-0e25-49c6-b673-2ae3e7035213&s_kwcid=403x434748&tmad=c&tmcampid=73

This is similar to the jersey dress I bought.

www.cosstores.com/gb/women/sale

Sale on at Cos ( quite slow delivery 4/5 days but free returns)

www.stories.com/gb/New_in/Ready-to-wear

& Other Stories Looking quite casual but worth a look for accessories / inspiration

www.finerylondon.com/uk/t/the-full-collection

I have a midi skirt from Finery that I really like...and it's cheaper than Hobbs . Good luck. I hope all these links work 😳

I'm almost exactly the same size and height as you and I'm in the same boat. It's a lot easier at just a size of 2 less, so I'm currently making efforts with my diet just to lose a bit to feel a bit less wobbly and lumpy. Anyway, in the mean time, all is not a lost cause. For meetings, I'd echo PP and go for a stretchy (not tight) jersey dress from Hobbs, Jaeger or Boden. I think Boden has raised its game a bit this season, and they do size 18 and 20. Tu at Sainsburys also has some fab cheaper stuff in a good range of sizes.

For casual clothes, I'd really recommend these jersey trousers. They are brilliantly comfy but look great dressed up (with heels/courts) or down (sandals/flats). Baukjen Neath trousers Baukjen also do some good quality jersey tops (don't go too crazy with the bodycon stuff - it's modelled on size 8s for a reason!) that are really easy to pop on but still look smart especially with a blazer/leather jacket and scarf.

I've also found that M&S's relaxed skinny jeans are a nice shape and good for spring/summer - they're not tight and sit quite short, on/slightly above the ankle.

I know none of this is revolutionary, but hopefully it will make you feel a bit smarter, pulled-together and stylish.

Let us know if you find anything - I'm always on the look out for new clothes!

Sorry, I mean a size OR 2 less i.e. size 14 or 16 - not a size 2. There's no need to go crazy with your diet :)

Yes I'm trying desperately to lose a couple of dress sizes as I know it'll make me feel better about myself. It's not helped that I've just taken on a desk job after spending most of my time on my feet at my previous job, and, after commuting for 4 hours a day whilst I've been training, I have zero energy for exercising when I eventually get home. I even fell asleep in a traffic jam last week!

However, the light at the end of the tunnel is that I'll be working from home as of next week and will be able to get back to my dog walking and hopefully slot something else in as well.

Some great ideas here, and lots of shops I'd never even looked at before, thank you :)

I know this is slightly off piste but have you ever seen a series of interviews on You Tube called What Lies Beneath. They're made by an American mother & daughter team and are currently featuring women from London. The women discuss issues of style and life lessons. The only reason I mention this is the philosophy of these women are often really empowering. I find myself feeling much more at peace with myself and my weight. I would recommend them for a confidence boost.

m.youtube.com/user/stylelikeu

Here's a link.

wear with either an ankle boot or a block heeled shoe or sandal.

Just the one, Spirited? Or an ankle boot on onefoot and a block heeled shoe on the other?

JBJ not a clothes suggestion but I know the "Wobbly Middle" nightmare.
I have cut out various foodgroups (due to IBS type symptoms) and the easiest and most effective thing I found.................

Stop Eating Bread.

Ok , not easy, I'd kill for toast , but it makes a huge difference to my bloaty innards.
I can eat rice,oats,corn so there are things I can substitute for the wheat.

Worth a few tweaks?

I find the one sandal & one boot the most practical option in April when the weather is so changeable!

Spirited!

What do you actually NEED, OP? Is it a couple of killer outfits for meetings? If you can wfh most of the time, then make the most of the opportunities to loll around in saggy leggings!