People making comments about how many clothes you have

[ElephantSuperhero]

Sorry about thread title, I really couldn't think how to word it!

I love clothes, and have a lot of them. I don't spend a fortune and do buy and sell a lot on Ebay and also buy from places like Primark and NewLook a fair bit too. I just love putting outfits together, looking nice, and taking a pride in my appearance.

I get totally fed up with getting comments from people about how many clothes I have. It's always in a sort of put down way rather than an 'I love your top/dress/coat' kind of way.

There is a mum at my DCs school who comments again and again, always things like "Oh gosh, ANOTHER top, HOW many tops do you need?" and "Exactly HOW many coats do you have, Elephant?"

Work colleagues comment too in the vein of oh god not more new clothes eh, Elephant.

And my mum is the absolute worst. She thinks that looking nice is pure vanity and is something to be ashamed of, and makes comments in front of my kids with an eye roll, things like "Mum must have a lot of money to waste, buying new things again", if I'm wearing something new or that she hasn't seen before. Or "If only you put the money you spend into tarting yourself up into doing more worthwhile things".

I don't mean this to come across as a brag. As I said before, I do not spent a fortune by any means, I just love clothes.

Does anyone else get constant snipey comments from others about choosing to look nice and have lots of clothes?

I only ever had this from one woman and I eventually cracked and said to her ''good job I don't smoke or I wouldn't be able to afford to buy nice clothes!".

Which I know is mean. may the lord forgive me for being such a bitch

I don't buy that much either. Maybe two or three things a month but then I start wearing them immediately.

I don't have many clothes but I spend a lot of money on them. I'm fucking useless at pulling a "look" together or accessorising and I bloody wish I had the eye for it.
Our closest "shopping center" is Miami which we have to fly to so I end up getting the majority of my stuff in the designer outlets or just the stores if I'm in New York.
I also spend a lot on shoes and bags and I don't give a shit if people comment.
It's so fucking rude and belittling like you're a materialistic weasel if you like clothes and looking nice. Fuckwits.

You obviously look good if people are that jealous. You probably have the knack of making your clothes from New Look etc. look expensive. I appreciate people like you - you brighten the place up.

Playground mum sounds insecure, mean and jealous. She's not a friend. Avoid her and feel a bit sorry for her.
I'm mostly a scruff, but have a friend that always, always looks polished and put together. I don't try to 'put her in her place' though, I complement her when she's wearing something especially lovely, because I like seeing how great she looks.

brenda I had almost exactly that last week - manager came out with a snidey 'work isn't a fashion show' comment.

I said - it is for me!

If clothes are an interest/hobby for you then I see no problem with that. It's rude for people to judge. Some people, if they have some money to spend, will opt for eating out, theatre, wine or travel. You like to buy interesting clothes that you like, and that's totally up to you.

annandale that story encouraged and reassured me! As a dress wearer in a male heavy suit world I feel conspicuous at times...now just need to nail the "amazing" bit

Its not necessarily negative, its a way of bringing up that you've noticed without the scary sense that you've lost a piece of your soul by putting giving an actual, gulp, complement.

I know this because I will say 'is that new' and guage a reaction before saying 'its nice' etc because there are four pitfalls a.you are highlighting the one thing they are embarrassed about wearing, b. or the one thing they don't want to feel obliged to say 'oh it was a bargain from asda' (they want an illusion to continue, but honesty/modesty will make them say that) or c. They think you are sexually harassing them or d. You are secretly belittling them in way they can't yet fathom, but will just before the next smoke break when they are feeling most nasty..

Interests that are associated with women are seen as being more frivolous and less valid uses of time and money than interests that are associated with men.

Sali Highes: "I doubt any man has ever been approached at a rugby match or wine tasting, by a stranger demanding to know why the cost of his ticket hasn’t been donated to Amnesty International instead of squandered on his own silly whims. But a woman indulging her passion for fashion or beauty is seen to be acting selfishly, foolishly, even immorally."

So true. When is a man ever made to feel that he has behaved immorally buying an A6 rather than an A3.

I have a colleague who often wears new clothes and I like seeing her outfits, as someone with a pretty boring style I like to see how she has styled things.

Trills that is such a brilliant post agree completely!

i am getting an insight into male minds from the a.b.c.d.e.---??