Feel out of place at dcs very middle class preschool

[winemummy1]

Hi I'm 34 & feel completely out of place at dcs very middle class preschool. Before dc I worked in fashion & was always bang on trend now due to money constraints plus having no time to go shopping due to DP working in another part of the country & no family support I have no time for myself & look a wreck.
Would love that polished yummy mummy middle class look the majority of the mums have going on & I feel it would suit me if I knew how to pull it off!
Hate the thoughts of being judged but I don't fit in at all sick of coming back from the school run feeling intimidated & shit about myself.
DC will be going to the local primary where same kids from preschool will be going so want to get my look together by then.
A bit about myself, I'm 34, size 10 good hair & skin, getting alot of orthodontic work done soon as 15 years of bulimia has really damaged my teeth & II never smile with my teeth, can't wait to have them fixed.
So please help me get that polished look & if any of you know where the trendy MC yummy mummies shop please tell me, might not be everyone's cup of tea but I like how they mums at dcs school look so polished put together & practical even though there's not much individuality I just want to fit in, I'm a sheep happy just to blend in!!

[sleepwhenidie]

Nononono to John Lewis/Boden/White Stuff. Sounds like you want Hush, Baujken, Me&Em, WhiteCompany, uterque, Zara. Keep an eye on the Outnet for designer bargains. Also drop into TKMaxx regularly, especially for premium denim.

[Favouritethings]

Big thumbs down to Boden.. I really don't understand mumsnets obsession with it. It's so frumpy.

[Puppymouse]

Watching this with interest. DD is at pre school/nursery 5 mins away and I sometimes turn up polished before or after work then other times I go in leggings and battered Uggs (I know. I promise they're real ) then sometimes I turn up with no makeup on, riding boots or wellies and jodhpurs. I've never felt judged and one time one of the mums totally blindsided me by raving about my hair but we are moving soon to a different area. It's very rural horse country so hoping my scruffiness will blend in but you never know what people will be like.

But I bet you always look beautiful really and nobody is judging

[MorrisZapp]

Op said she wanted to blend in, not stand out.

[veryexcellentpliers]

Not meaning to be rude but wanting to look middle class is funny!

depends on what look you want to achieve.

for very a style forward look i would try all saints - i dont know where you are but the big manchester one is amazing.

they have amazing fluid jersey tops and fluid knit pieces that i love and if they are too pricey, then i often find H and M has some dupes.

for a more look everyday to stick on i would look at denim or chambray blouses with lovely knits.

modalu cross body bags seem lovely.

Anna Saccone Joly seems to nail this preppy polished look:
smooth hair
nude lips
well fitting jeans
nice well fitted blouse
lots of different grey tone knits or jersey tops

[sleepwhenidie]

I'm thinking blend in...

like this

not this

?

[Kr1stina]

Sister sweet is exactly right .

This look is very easy to do . Jeans can be cheap as long as they are the right colour and cut . They will do for most of the year .

Footwear doesn't have to be expensive . Bags don't have to be designer , as long as they are classy and leather .

You need one decent jacket for winter and one for summer - this will cost you some money but you can wear the same ones all the time and just vary the scarves .

T shirts, tops and sweaters can be cheap , as long as they are plain colours that suit you.

Nails you can do yourself . No fakes required . No fake tan or extreme make up . No blingy jewellery .

Hair needs to be professionally coloured and done regularly .

[LadyPriggsbottom]

I'm with vilo and absolutely. Personally, I'd go out of my way to make sure I didn't fit in with the 'middle class yummy mummy look', but each to their own!

It will be a cold day in hell before I voluntarily wear a branded adventure jacket (unless I happen to find myself adventuring of course).

I also agree with pps that a lot of women lose their confidence a bit and don't really know what to wear after DCs. Maybe this is what you are experiencing. If you worked in fashion, I guarantee you could put together something a lot more interesting than skinny jeans and a North Face jacket for the school run. Maybe the other mums will start wanting to emulate you!

[sleepwhenidie]

OP it would probably help if you found some pics to show what the mums you talk about look like. I am in N London and it is definitely more towards the first link I put in my last post. The 'stylish' crowd wouldn't be seen dead in Boden or a North Face jacket (choice definitely would be Canada Goose/Woolrich/Moncler or imitations of these when it gets freezing). My SIL's crowd of MC mums in the countryside is definitely more of the skinny jeans, Barbour jacket and DuBarry boot genre though so it very much depends where you live!

[sleepwhenidie]

I'd also add that I can't think of any of the mums I know who look 'polished' every day, like puppymouse said, some days certain people look fantastic, others like they've rolled out of bed 10 minutes earlier no one judges as far as I can tell . I say this, having dropped off 3 dc's over the course of 6 years so far, at state and private schools, alongside several women who work in fashion, some as stylists and a few slebs, including Gwyneth Paltrow (even she had the very occasional off day )!

[Suchashock]

Avoid Boden! You're in your 30s!
Try Jack Wills for basics (sweaters, shirts etc). I like Whistles (their sale is great). Levi jeans are good again too.
New Balance trainers, strappy sandles.
Look to Pinterest for inspiration.

[EdithWeston]

When I visit my DMum, I notice that it's Dubarry Central!

I think, if you want a confidence boost, start with getting a great haircut (I always fail on this, having limp fine hair, because I think thick and swishy is a marker of the look you want) plus a new bra for oomph.

Then go with the crowd on your lower half (skinnies with boots in winter, converse in summer). But look for tops, jackets and coats that make make you feel wonderful.

I like hemp tshirts and tunics, because I find they drape really well (skimming the lumpy bits) and am embracing my inner grebo with retro rock band tshirts.

[WipsGlitter]

I think both those looks are fine! If I going to work I'm in a boring dress if I'm at home jeans and a top.

Agree you need to sort hair first.

Have a look at the school gate style blog - it might have some good tips.

[cressetmama]

All Saints is the cliche hairdresser brand, according to my hairdresser! Not MC mummy-town.... just saying......

[absolutelynotfabulous]

All Saints is great, but pricey and the clothes are waay too titchy.

[Jmangel]

Omg you're describing me! started reading this thinking, what does she mean middle class dressing? But hands up to skinny grey jeans, slouchy suede ankle boots, long swing tunics, large watch, leather strap bracelets stacked and leather cross body bag - you have me down!! Do you know what though, it's the easiest way to dress - you only really need to vary your top half and change colour of jeans/boots - it's effortless dressing. I can't be doing with scarves though. I don't spend a fortune at all - boots from Pier One Zalando instead of Hudson, jeans TRF Zara, bag second hand eBay, watch Olivia Burton and tops from Zara, asos and sheinside. Didn't realise I was such a cliché!!

[Believeitornot]

H&m is your friend. Skinny jeans, plain tops galore.

Never wear patterns. Get a nice haircut or have it up in a messy sort of way.

[Believeitornot]

But no tunics oh good lord no. They look naff!

[veryexcellentpliers]

yipee, i must look like a trendy hairdresser then (when really every day im up to my elbows in nappies, homework while swigging lattes)!

[Fedup21]

Definitely no to long tunics!

[Wellhellothere1]

Sleepwhenidie-I love your first photo! This is the look I would love. What search term did you use? I'm off to spend some time on Pinterest....

[NoArmaniNoPunani]

A decent pair of jeans - Paige would be my preference, a decent handbag, a pair of converse and a decent pair of leather boots. Once you have the basics you can buy cheap tops and accessories

[absolutelynotfabulous]

I like sleep's link too. It's an easy look which you can adapt with a leather biker or a cropped jacket, bling, heels, boots or whatever.

I think I dress like that, like a pp above, but M/C mothers around here go for a grungier, sloppier, scruffier look.

Fascinating thread.

[Fedup21]

I love that first link. I've been
Trying to find a blazer that suits me for ages, but can't! They all have massive shoulde pads and my shoulders are big anyway. I end up looking like a man!

[absolutelynotfabulous]

fedup I struggle with blazers too. I have big shoulders AND big norks. I just look like a man, but norky.

I had a lovely (cheap) blazer from Peacocks, but lost it somehow.