I'm suddenly a size 14 with an overhang and have no idea what to wear. Please help

[crystalgall]

I know this is going to sound ridiculous and precious but I can't even bear to look at my naked body anymore.

Had a baby 3 and a half months ago. C Section.

I was a size 10-12 before mainly due to big boobs. My staple at work was pencil skirts and tucked in tops and fitted dresses. Skinny jeans and tips for casual. I was v happy with my style and had a decent enough tummy.

Now I look hideous. My stomach is huge and has fold upon fold. It hangs over and is saggy and mishappen. Truly awful. My
Boobs have completely sagged. Huge bum/thighs.

I don't look good in anything and
No longer know what to wear.
I'm on maternity so don't need to worry about work clothes but even day wear has me stumped.

I live in skinny jeans (high waisted to suck in as much tummy as possible) and baggy tops. But I look fat and frumpy.

I went shopping with my sister (21 and a size 6. Clearly I wanted to torture myself). I tried on dozens of tops but either they made my stomach bulge or were too baggy and so made me look big and frumpy. I was in tears by the end of the day.
I can't wear jumpers . They make me look fat because my
Tummy just sticks out.

Please help. I know a size 14 isn't huge but it's the giant wobbly belly that is killing me. My self esteem is shot. I used to love style blogs and fashion and style. I loved dressing for work and used to feel sexy. I am
So far from that person it's like she never existed. I will add I have horrible PND at the moment and it may be increasing my anxiety over it all

Is it at all
Possible for me to look good anymore?

Just to give an idea these are the kind of outfits I used to wear that are no longer in the realms of possibility with the body I now have

Here

I look frumpy in Hobbes. Not so bad in shops which are kinder with sizing... The White Stuff (was size 10, now 8) Boden (was 13 now 10) and Disigual (was XL now L).

Have a look at Hush, especially the Tara dress as the ruching hides a lot.
Be kinder to yourself (easier said than done, I know).
And have you had a check with your doctor lately? I'm not in the UK, so unsure how it works, but over here in Germany you'd have a check to see how your stomach and pelvic floor muscles were doing, then get sent off for support undies or physio classes or both if needed, less for looks, more for health.
But don't forget that it is early days yet, so above all be kind to you.

It will get better, your baby is still very little, but I get that it's miserable when you can't wear what you want to right now.

Any of these appeal? Maybe not the green tiered one! www.asos.com/search/Swing-dress?q=Swing+dress

If you go short and/or sleeveless to show off the bits you are happy with, that might be bearable for the next few months?

I'm going to be really honest here... I was a size 8-10 before having my dc, I used to shop at all the trendy young style shops and was very into fashion. I'm now 35, a size 16-18 and have the c section overhang. It does get better as time goes on - 3 months is nothing, I'm talking maybe 9 months ish it may start to improve - but I'm never going to look like I did before my dc. My life is never going to be like it was before my children, neither is my body.

You don't have to go all frumpy but there's a middle ground between trying to fit into Zara post baby with a body you're not familiar with and buying stuff in Fat Face when you wouldn't normally even look at their stuff. New look, Asos, Next and H and M are all a good middle ground.

I tend to buy stuff in sizes much larger than I actually am so they hang and drape rather than cling. I buy a lot of t shirts and plain longer tops from primark and I love Next high waisted skinny jeans and slim jeans to pull everything in a bit. I truly believe finding the right pair of jeans is key to feeling better about yourself when you have a "mum tum". Jeans that cut my c section overhang in half just make me feel hideous.

I also really love Tu at sainsburys for some of their basic things, they fit really nicely and don't cling to all the wrong bits!

Ideally I'd like to lose some weight and so on but one of my children is severely autistic and I just don't have the time or inclination right now. When you've got very young children or added problems it's really difficult, but you can start by being kind to yourself. Pnd is truly horrendous (I suffered dreadfully after my first birth, a vaginal birth that went horribly wrong) and it took me at least a year to start to feel better.

A size 14 and a 3 month old baby is pretty normal :) just doesn't feel normal to you I know, but don't beat yourself up about your body shape.

I'm here with you crystalgall . I am living in lumberjack shirts and leggings and staring forlornly at my lovely wardrobe full of clothes that don't fit. I think I need a big shop (and I'm breastfeeding so need boob access). I used to be very blessed with a flat tummy and I am now a barrel which is quite hard to get my head around. I'm hoping its temporary and I'm sure I'll find some decent clothes in the meantime with a bit of focus - this thread is really helpful and I'm taking notes on all the brands (although probably not fat face or white stuff for me). On a day when I've got good energy levels I'm going to do my hair and hit the shops for a big try-on. Probably New Look, H&M, Zara, &otherstories and primark too.

We can do this!

3 and a half months is so early still. I found that I didn't really get back to 'normal' until 6-9 months. And even then I didn't go back to exactly to how I was. After 3 kids I have a crepey baggy stomach but you do learn to dress it.

Pre dc I wore tees but have realised these do me no favours and that I'm better off with a blouse that skims rather than clings. I get these from everywhere and anywhere-gap, fatface, white stuff, zara, mango, next, mint velvet. And then tend to wear skinny or straigh leg jeans.

I also had pnd and part of it was looking at everyone else and thinking how good and together they looked whilst I felt like a frumpy mess. But as others have said if you have the energy for it then filing your nails, wearing a bit of make up and jewellery can do wonders for your self esteem.

Just remember, your body is in a transition phase and it will continue to change so although you need some clothes to get you through this transition don't buy too much as they may no longer look right in 6 months.

I died a bit inside when I went into fat face the first time!!!

I am going back to work soon and have just ordered loads of dresses from John Lewis to be delivered to waitrose so I can try them on at home, with different underwear, and see how they go. I already have a high waisted pencil skirt from asos which is brilliant - nice and thick so holds it in!! I have worn that with bright tops tucked in (a bit like your first picture OP) and it looks fine. Ish. And even after my first pregnancy (which was twins, which is what has destroyed me) I did get back into my favourite dresses, just with my Spanx on! In fact, the celebration after getting into my favourite Karen Millen dress is what led to my next pregnancy!!!

Until you get back in shape, shapewear may help you feel better about your figure. The slip type really make a dress look better. Meanwhile don't be hard on yourself, your body has been through a lot.

It's not much but if it makes you feel any better I went from a size 14 to 20 and have an arn stomach too. Downside is mine is from multiple abdo surgeries and unsuccessful rounds of IVF. No baby, just fat.

But high waisted undies are my friend.

Arn stomach? Apron stomach.

Did you use to wear clothes like those pictures everyday ? To go from hose to white stuff is too much of a jump . Why not get some nice straight leg jeans and some nice long ish blouses and some Hudson boots or something along those lines ? I'm not telling you to lose weight but have you considered doing slimming world while you are on maternity leave ? It really works and then in a few months you could have your body back . I had a c section and don't have an overhang now so it's not always the case you are stuck with it .

I've just skimmed through and will read more later. I am in this position. I have bought the mutu program but to my shame haven't started it yet and the baby is 8 months.

I was interested in the comments about BFing - I just feel so soft and flabby, even though due to lots of walking and running after a toddler my legs are toned and muscles again. I got pregnant again as soon as I stopped breast feeding. And I had two c-sections so overhang well and truly there.

My body didn't get better until 9-12 months after the baby, and that was partly down to diet reasons as I had to cut out milk. Be kind to yourself.

I have some nice Cos dresses (you have to try a few on to get a good one though) that hang really well and skim the tum.

I'm in a similar situation with a six month old. Having always been a size 6-8 I'm suddenly a 12 with tummy (not horrendous I know but a bit of a shock). I also seem to be the only person on the planet who gains weight while breastfeeding.

I really like Boden's supersoft swing top ( m.boden.co.uk/en-gb/womens-tops-t-shirts/3_4-sleeved-tops/wl937-blk/womens-black-supersoft-swing-top?sc=LNU5&cm_mmc=PLA--Google--Shopping-_-Product&istCompanyId=a40e1fa1-0635-4a1b-8d9a-2caa763eeee2&istItemId=rqraqrita&istBid=xzat&gclid=CMP49MfH0coCFcG6GwodcxkNDg). It's fitted on the boobs and drapes nicely over the tummy and looks good with skinny jeans.

Tunics and leggings just make me shudder. It's what I've been reduced to wearing post c section and I've never felt more dumpy. I'm only 5'2 as well.
Thanks for those who made suggestions (incl tunics and leggings!) I do appreciate it. Swing dresses and swing tops again make me feel shapeless and frumpy. I've always liked shift/a line/tea compared to baggy swing/shirt dresses which did my figure no favours. But again I need to go and trawl through these maybe because my body is so different.

Yes the pics I posted is what I wore
to work every day. Even on weekends/off days I wore smart fitted tops/jumpers with skinny jeans. Those smart fitted tops that I just can't wear any more so need alternatives.

I like these kind of outfits. The tops aren't so fitted but some only look good because they are tucked in. I can't do that anymore.

And I tried to buy some jumpers on my shopping trip but they just wouldn't work. I don't know what I was doing wrong but the nice fitted ones like first pic
made all my lumps stick out and bigger sizes looked shapeless and hung on me.
There are lots of plaid shirts like the second pic but again it looks good slightly fitted and tucked in a little which is how I would normally have worn them. But not if I try a bigger size one on its like a boyfriend shirt on me which is a style I hate. Or if I go for fitted it sticks on my tummy.
Clearly I have completely lost ability to shop!

Those pics aren't best examples really but i quickly
Posted and now can't post any more? Only 3 pics allowed?!

Anyone got any nice dresses recently which would look good with a tummy?

Looking back on this from the ripe old age of 55 having had three DC, I did get back to my pre pregnancy size (12 ish) after the first two, but it took a year and in the case of DS2 a bit of dieting towards the end of that year. After the youngest, No 3, it was a lot harder probably because I was closer to the menopause that I'd have cared to admit, and I settled for a lumpier 14. Be kind to yourself and give it time. I haven't forgotten the feeling of not being myself and wondering whose body it was, staring back at me from the mirror. Allow time for the PND to abate or for the treatment to take hold.
I do remember after DS2, buying flared black trousers and a matching sleeveless tunic top, (from M&S where I had only ever bought knickers before), getting my hair done and a new lipstick. We went out for lunch with the children and I felt pretty and floaty and proud of my brood, even though I was large and hiding a very fat tummy. It gave me a boost.
Don't get hung up on clothes brands, frumpy, trendy or otherwise. There may be one thing in a shop you wouldn't normally frequent that works for you. Take care

m.oasis-stores.com/lace-patched-dress/dresses/oasis/fcp-product/5547419

I loved this dress but when I tried it on it stuck to my huge bum and my
tum just bulged. This was a size 14. Maybe I'm bigger than I think? But then I can still get into some of my old size 12 tops if they are baggy enough...