How to look intimidating?

[MagicalHamSandwich]

Slightly unusual one possibly: I'm having some business contacts come over for a few days. They're not people I'm on good terms with. They've also announced that they'll be managing our joint venture - I'm having none of this (they're basically Ineffectiveness Plc) and need to scare them into submission. Or that's the plan.

Unfortunately for me I'm pathologically friendly (I can work with that), very slender and basically look like a 13-year-old with unlikely wrinkles. I need to look scary and to achieve that I need some serious help!

I'm so far thinking midi pencil skirt (aggressively red or governess black?), updo, stiletto heels and ...

Would black eyeliner be too much? Bright red lipstick? What to wear on top? A blouse or some serious I dare you to look cleavage?

I'm basically going for a look that says 'poorly masked danger'. Any pointers?

Everything you've said OP makes me think Anne Robinson when she presents the Weakest Link - might be worth a look on YouTube.

Still and calm is far more effective than nervous and energetic. Think about your posture - straight back, shoulders down and back. Give yourself plenty of time before the meeting so you aren't flustered and rushing.

Neutral make up, neutral tailoring, feel smart.

Don't take too many notes, but jot down main points.

Don't commit to anything. "Let me think about it" or "I need to consider all of the options here" and a straight "look - if you start pushing me too hard the answer will be a straight no".

My one today "you can negotiate all you want, but the answer won't change".

Finally have a plan b. Know what your other options are - it makes the meeting you are facing far less daunting if you have something else in the pipeline if this all goes horribly wrong.

Yes, yes, yes to Anne Robinson. That's precisely the convent school teacher/dominatrix cross I'm looking for. Off to google her outfits (and yay! I'm a redhead, that will work)!

I've tried the competence strategy with them for two years to no avail. I've also tried begging, threatening, negotiating, finger pointing, playing dumb and escalating up to C-level. I can't get them to move, my boss can't, the boss of my boss can't and our managing director can't either. Nothing has worked so far, so I'm now attempting slightly unhinged and possibly dangerous. If it doesn't work (and my chances are slim) I'll at least have fun until we inevitably sue them.

Sorry, this is making me chuckle. DD has some gloves that say WHAT EVER on the knuckles. Or maybe just get a felt tip and write FUCK OFF! on your fingers.

Good luck with the bastards.

I'd totally go for 'fuck off' knuckles if I had a steady enough hand to write on my right with my left.

And, no worries, it makes me laugh, too. I can't believe we can pull off delivery projects worth millions but have not managed to get these guys to grant us access to an actual software engineer rather than an idiot with an MBA who will answer any question with 'I'd have to check with software engineering' (and that's what the whole thing is about - totally ridiculous!)

Can't you tell them that you don't want to go ahead under these terms and state your conditions? Can you use another company? I don't really get why you are forced to try and manage these people.

Long story - we basically inherited them from a different division, tried in vain to get the client to change suppliers on the grounds that their product sucks and their employees are useless, failed to convince them because of what had already been invested before we took over and are now forced to tango because we have other contracts with the same client that we must protect.

I'm out in a few weeks' time and have never so looked forward to a mandate ending.

There's a guy I work with always asks very direct questions. "Have you got time to do that?" "How will you deliver that when you failed last time?" What will you be doing differently?

Terrifying in appraisals but great in negotiations. The thing is he's quite mild mannered and not at all assertive looking but he just delivers these exocets!

[ This]] is probably why they are hiding their engineer.

if city lawyer is your norm then you need the most expensive, best tailored to you suit in the room. Maybe Hugo Boss and def black.

Some of the are hilarious!

Will try these tomorrow at work -at my crap admin job

Can't wait to look disappointed at my boss and weary!

I am making copious notes because I have my first major head office meeting since I got a huge promotion on 1st January. I am trying to regain my director level "do not fuck with me" glare from pre - children days.

I basically need to drag some commitments out of a finance director who lives in his own world and an IT lead who is an ideas person and has no one to actually force him to make the ideas happen.

Definitely trying the sitting in front of the window trick.

I am already sending lots of "for the avoidance of doubt we will require X thing by Y date" emails so I can hang them both on their own ineptitude later on

Practice your resting bitch face, apparently I have one of these though I'm friendly really! Stand up straight no slouching.

Tailoring, wear lipstick even if only nude, wear necklace/earrings/watch, definitely wear a jacket or fitted cardigan as a minimum - the adding of a jacket 'layer' gives the impression of authority. Don't wear anything that feels totally wrong for you though - if you are small and delicate and favour neat clothes, go for a jacket that is neat and not too long or sharp of lapel.

When you talk, try to talk artificially slow and leave long pauses - it will counteract the effect of nerves.

Read up on assertiveness and body language for the workplace.

TED Talk on body language
Talking about intimidating, I've actually signed up to MN just to post you this link about body language, as I did a presentation on Monday in front of someone truly terrifying. A pal sent me the clip, I followed the advice and it really helped me lots. Basically spending a few minutes standing like Wonder Woman (no really, not with a lasso, it is the hands on hips thing) can effect your hormone levels and help you react better in big meetings.
My outfit was a skirt suit with thin knit top all in dark navy, navy heels I can walk in, small pearl earrings, doing my make-up well but not overdoing and adding a silk scarf (scary person is from Paris) knotted following the tutorials by Mai Tai's Collection. So formal, neutral, but with some personality (albeit pricey).
Person still tried to throw us under the bus, but didn't succeed.
And this has given me enough courage to stop being a lurker...
GOOD LUCK!

Always sit or stand with your feet flat on the floor. Always keep your hands still, never fidget with them. Even as you look at someone, be aware of the room around you and your peripheral vision.

Google pictures of Angelina Jolie and look on YouTube for videos of her talking at summits/parliament. Obviously she's incredibly beautiful and wears super-expensive clothes but she also has excellent posture and speaks well. Calm, confident, in control etc.

Not to do with what to wear but do they have the right to manage your joint venture??? Is there a legal agreement? It should be down to what you agreed, not who is the most intimidating... If it's 50/50 and there are no agreements about how it should be managed (legal or otherwise), I guess you'll just have to be assertive as others have suggested! Good luck!

cleavage of any kind (Toes, tits, bum) has no place in any workplace except one.

waddling in heels also makes you a joke.

use the 'broken record' - it never works but it is really irritating.

I'm lolling at 'FUCK OFF fingers', think Captain Birdseye should seriously consider branching out

you have just described what i wear every day!

Thought I owed you all an update: Ended up going down an entirely different route in the end: feminine and innocent. Changed tactics to make them underestimate you and strike when they least expect it using overwhelming intellectual force. Cute shock and awe!

It worked, the joint venture is now managed by me, and I didn't even have to get unfriendly ...

Actual anti-power-dressing outfit worn:

• baby blue blouse, feminine cut, no frills
• orangey red suit trousers, cigarette cut
• cashmere cardigan
• minimal makeup, mostly pastel pink
• braided updo

Mental outfit worn:

• Friendly but business like
• overt display of superior expertise in all relevant fields via pertinent questions

Victory of the ingenue evil genius!

Oh well done. Use their prejudice against them! Excellent work.

I am so here for you as I've had the same, and my career has been threatened with disaster more than anything else by the curse of my unprofessional hair.

1. Jacket one size too small so it pulls your shoulders back
2. Red - scarlet/orange not burgundy/pink
3. Neat hair with sharp edges or hairspray
4. Comfort, comfort, comfort for everything else
5. Deep breathing for 3 min before arrival. Practice holding phrases a lot so you don't have to say yes to stuff.

Be feminine and good luck. I made it fine, by the way.

Shit just seen update.... well done, outfit rocks & so do you.