How to look 'expensive' 2

[IkeaGoddess]

(old thread got to 1000 posts)

I think Bun is being serious, so am I, why would you put your knife and fork down between every mouthful? Sounds exhausting and noisy if everyone was puting their knives and forks down on the plate constantly throughout dinner.

don't you put them down while you chew?
sorry, don't want to derail thread. I'm obviously in the minority! As you were!

You put your knife and fork down, angled on the plate pointing inwards the tines of the fork pointing down when you are chatting rather than eating. Hard to describe something that just happens naturally.

The little things that nobody notices unless done incorrectly:

The man should order for the lady
Breaking a roll or piece of bread
Eating a peach
Holding knife and fork properly
Angling a soup spoon away from you
Waiting for the lady to start eating, most senior present

TBH I don't hold with the man ordering for the lady Beaufort but I just mentioned the knife & fork thing because that really destroys elegance IYSWIM.

When it is just the three of us we don't talk very much when we are eating. We don't bolt our food either. I don't know anyone who puts their knife and fork down between every single mouthful.

I am having deja vue here BTW.

Ah, but the gentleman should
I like it more as I get older. It's almost always DH nowadays anyhow and if it isn't it's usually an uncle or such like and they are eighty something now and it would be ungracious not to let them.

Thanks BeaufortBelle, I'll have to think about highlights instead, although I prefer my hair darker. I guess I could have lighter shades added if it does look flat.

On the subject of food, how do you eat the roll with soup?

I usually break it and tear bits off, buttering as I go - never dipping in. I have seen vair posh people put a spoonful of soup on the side plate, with a little swirl, and mop from there with said broken pieces of soup.

Broken pieces of bread!

Marking place

This is getting very interesting.... Do go on.

I just about manage to keep my elbows of the table & I've just trained DH to stay at the table until everyone's finished. His parents don't believe in table manners. It's truly awful especially for people who consider themselves very classy.

Although to be fair to MIL she is always very well dressed.

Great stuff on this thread but surely no woman seriously expects in 2016 the man to order for them??
Both I and my DH would regard that as bizarre and a quaint custom from another century and we are definitely 'mature' and also pretty well mannered. Please say that was a joke. Or did feminism never happen?

My mother would roll in her grave if I used a knife to cut up a bread roll, but sorry - I draw the line at a man ordering for me. That is just way too infantile for an adult woman to tolerate.

Sounds exhausting and noisy if everyone was puting their knives and forks down on the plate constantly throughout dinner

Its not noisy if you do it correctly by doing it gently.

Breaking a roll or piece of bread
Eating a peach
Holding knife and fork properly
Angling a soup spoon away from you
Waiting for the lady to start eating, most senior present

I wouldn't like someone to order for me but all of the above is pretty much day to day stuff.

Isn't it a shame? Dipping buttery bread into soup is one of life's great joys. Although admittedly I wouldn't do it in a restaurant.
Also, a table is conveniently elbow height, i don't get hung up on that.
Peaches are juicy. And I'll order my own bloody meal.
I aim to look/be classy, but I'm also human and really rather fUn.

An interesting point made up thread was about dressing appropriately for the occasion and there was a general consensus that was important. I think it's the same with table manners/eating.

DH will order for me in a high end restaurant because the waiter will go to him first and it just happens, rather like the Waiter will invariably offer DH the wine to try. In Pizza Express or our local Indian it doesn't happen like that.

For all those saying they find a man ordering their food disempowering, how often have you gone to McDonalds and taken your DC to sit down while your DH/partner goes to the counter to order?

If anything, it would usually be him taking the kids to sit down in a cafe while I do the ordering.

I find the concept of telling a fellow grown adult what I want, and then sitting there demurely while he does the manly speaking to the waiter, faintly ridiculous. And please don't tell me it's even worse than that, and the man is supposed to decide what I want, as well.

I really hope this discussion doesn't derail an otherwise fab thread.

My mother would roll in her grave if I used a knife to cut up a bread roll

Why? Why's it such a big deal? Apart from being a social class indicator?

It was perhaps a slight exaggeration, Magical. :) It's not a big deal - well, not these days. My Mum went to a posh boarding school, where (when) it was a big deal!

Ok fair enough, I am confused by some of these etiquette rules though!

Things like staying at the table until everyone's finished eating, not talking with your mouth full etc make sense as they're just basic consideration for others :)

But the bread roll thing isn't as clear, that's why I was wondering what the point of it was, apart from it being a social class signifier.

I disagree - at a high end restaurant the waiter will turn to the woman to take their order first or the kids if they come with us! They will and should offer the wine to whoever chose it and we will point out to a waiter who fails to follow that etiquette. We expect the bill to be given to whoever asks for it too, or placed politely in the middle. I often order for the whole table if we are eating Mezze or Tapas.

Same Dowager

I have never eaten in a high end restaurant, and if I did OH would never order for me as he has a crap memory and wouldn't be able to remember what I wanted. It wouldn't occur to him to order my meal even if he had a brilliant memory. He just doesn't do things like that.

Anyway, back to the thread. We had a change to the dress code at work this summer, from smart office wear to being able to wear jeans. As a result people were turning up to work looking scruffier and scruffier.

They have changed the rules to smart jeans only, no trainers, no T-shirts, no vest tops, all the men have to have a collar - so it is shirts and polo shirts only. So it is basically smart office wear, but including smart jeans.

We have no dress code at work at all.

Don't want to prolong diversion either but have to say my experience in 'high end' restaurants in London is like Higge's. Ie, the waiter has always asked me for my order directly. Also offered wine to whoever ordered. Am surprised it's ever done differently nowadays.