Where am I supposed to shop?

[Goingtobeawesome]

Just back from Bluewater after DH told me to go and buy some clothes. Haven't bought much for ages, completely rubbish at knowing what suits and no clue about what's in fashion. Not fussed about the latter though.

I wanted a bra, warm socks, trousers and maybe shoes.

I've come away with two bras and a woollen dress. I nearly passed out at the bras price but know they are worth it. I'd got into a size 12 pair of trousers in M&S - pure vanity sizing and the 14 was better but then I realised I didn't love them so back they went. Trousers in Next, too flared. Couldn't find any trousers in Dorothy Perkins. Too old for Forever 21, tried Zara, (no trousers to try), H&M (felt much too old and the 14 were too tight. No one to help so didn't bother with the 16), walked in and straight out of New Look and Top Shop. No welcoming assistants and looking at the clientele I felt too old and fat. Tried John Lewis. Could only see designer names and even then I looked but no trousers. House of Fraser, the same really, felt too old or couldn't find anything I liked. Bought the dress in River Island even though I felt too old but was still thinking about it so worth a try. Had to ask for a 16. Mortifying as I heard someone bringing "size six in the black?" and a teenager complaining she'd have to buy the ten.

I am fat, I am struggling to lose weight, I've never been on trend but I do want to look nice. I'm 43 and have a tight budget at present and no idea where to shop.

Any advice would be lovely.

I'm not though. My new dress is a 16 (river island). Size 14 in next and m and s. Couldn't get into a 14 in H & M.

Current jeans are a 14 from new look. My favourite jeans are a 12. Can't get into them. There doesn't seem to be any sense in what fits me depending on my weight. I have clothes 12-18 in my wardrobe. The 18 is a cardigan from m and s. I've never been an 18. Actually I think one is a 20. It looks the same size as my 14

I'm 5 foot 5.5 and this morning weighed 12 stone seven. Really fed up.

I'm 5-5 and 10-5 and get into similar sized clothes to you.

What you weigh doesn't give you much to go on does it?

You need to be kinder yourself. Have a look at the quitting sugar thread.

That is why I put two stone on and never realised as all my old clothes still fit. In the last two years I've been up and down and have gained 18 pounds from my lowest.

What did you mean, Dowser, about my weight not giving me much to go on?

I always say this, but can you do a big ASOS order (they have tons of different brands and you can filter by colour, shape, style etc) and try everything on at home? Free delivery and returns, and 20% off this weekend.

Oh, and I'm usually a 10/12 but in H&M have had to buy 16s before - I'm 5ft 6 and this morning was 10stone 1, usually a few lbs heavier but have been ill this week and not eaten much. (Every cloud!) In Zara I am often L. Sizes mean nothing.

op

Go and get your hair cut. Take some pictures of styles you like. Then make a few small changes.
Drink a fuck tonne of water, sink a big glass as soon as you wake. Then keep it going all day.
Try and cut out processed foods, especially empty calorific junk like biscuits, cakes, sugary cereal.
CleaNse your face properly morning and night.

I have to second what remUs says- think of what your uniform could be.
For me I live in my skinny jeans and fine gauge knit jumpers, suede ankle boots. Leather jacket or oversized coat from toast.

Forget about the sizes in the shops- they are bonkers and inconsistent and never ever make sense! Wear stuff that fits- badly fitting stuff is not flattering!
Buy some smoothing pants- primark have good ones.
Get Asos prime- free next day delivery, free returns. Order a whole heap of stuff to try on.
I think for you-
Skinny jeans worn with brown leather riding boots, tan belt, then either a soft/floaty blouse (Zara, h and m, cos, pull and bear, mango, la respite, Asos) or a l/s jersey top with either a nice scarf looped around, or a nice necklace.
What colours suit you?
2 blouses, 3 plainer tops, new boots and jeans, order that cos tunic dress in green- it's really really nice!

Be nice to yourself and throw the scales in the bin!

nilby, where do you recommend for fine gauge knit jumpers?

Uniqlo, Boden and good old m and s!

Thank you, will take a look. Might add some of these to my uniform.

Forget what the chart says

Yes, for health you could be slimmer. Couldn't we all

Your current size though is not a barrier to style

Don't buy anything from river island for gods sake

Can I also mention that clothes shopping at the mo is difficult unless you want a party/Christmas outfit. Had to shop with my daughter for an interview and it was a nightmare as very little suitable.
PS I had a style crisis and did as above and looked at magazines for what I wanted to look like and gathered up pictures that I refer to when I feel old and frumpy.
Good Luck

Thanks everyone. I have to go out soon but will read the whole thread again and make notes.

Currently in a dress I forgot I had, found another too, which is a little big but ok. It's just below the knee, black and I'm wearing it with thick black tights and my other knee boots. I'm cold so a grey cardigan is on top but next time I would put a long sleeved top underneath as it is sleeveless. My first boyfriend told me I had tree trunks for legs and I have never felt comfortable in dresses/skirts that aren't ankle length. I'm trying to think fuck it, I don't have nice legs. Don't see the world ending and knee boots are useful in this case.

I saw the dress in RI and walked out as felt old but then walked the whole way round, still hadn't found anything and still liked the dress so tried it. Send pic to DH, he liked it so I bought it. Why do you say not to get anything them, cranberryjuiced?

That sounds like a great outfit today
If that is what you feel good in, why not get some more in same style, different types of tights ( colours, stripes, patterns) for some variety?
That first boyfriend sounds nasty, and it's a shame his view still influences you. I don't have the best legs either ( yep, exs have called them noth thunder thighs and tree stumps) but i still wear skirts and tights. My legs are sporty, they take me places . I have a friend who wears long skirts or dresses and boots/ sandals and she looks really good. Either way, be kind to yourself... And shop online!

What nilby and remus said.
Forget what number it says on the label and just buy what fits.
I have clothes with labels ranging from 12-22 in my wardrobe and I have been a consistent size 16/18 for years! It is only me that knows the number on the label and as nilby says it is what something looks like that is important not what it says on an unseen label.
I like stretchy Phase 8 and Boden dresses for work. For trousers, M&S Autograph and some Next tailoring. Weekends I like leggings and tunics from Monsoon and Boden. Some White Company and Jigsaw.
I am fussy about natural fibre content in clothing (cotton, wool and silk etc) and that means most High St polyester tat is ruled out. I now buy fewer better quality things that I know look great and will last years than I used to in my 20s and 30s.
HTH

I struggle with shopping also. I get shopping fatigue by the second shop and confused by the vast array of choice. Im not really a fashion person (only stumbled on to S&B due to doing lots of night feeds and finding it soothing and troll free!), but like to have clothes i feel nice and comfortable in. I would strongly suggest some leisurely online shopping. I order in to M&S and House of Fraser, collect in store, try on then and there and return what i dont want before leaving the store - hassle free! I know lots of people dont like Marks but I find them great for doing different lengths in trousers, skirts and dresses. They do loads of different styles, which is why it can look chaotic in store, but usually online i can find something. Just bought some lovely cord leggings from Indigo with 30% off, so soft - would recommend. Come in 3 lengths and all sizes. I also love woolovers for fine knitted cashmere/merino blends. their sizing is really good in that they give you exact measurements for each garment, loads of colour choice, and washes really well. As you can tell, so not a fashion person, but i do manage to get clothes that i like with minimum legwork round the actual shops!
Btw, your ex boyfriend is an arse.

Woolovers is good and very well priced for knitwear. The website is a little frumpy, but they are great for basics.

Stay away from "teen" shops, like New Look, H&M, TopShop....the cut and styling tends to be aimed at skinny youngsters and it will just depress you.

Online shopping is your friend, particularly with trousers, which are traditionally hard to fit well. Buy tons, have a good try-on session, then return. Choose a retailer where you can do this for free.

My physio has told me to throw away my scales too! I weigh myself as I was ill, on mess and out on two stone. No one told me. I had no idea. I really do not want that to happen again and tbh I am currently only about half a stone lighter than my highest now. But I feel only slightly bigger .

Can anyone recommend thicker tights please? I know 7 denier is thin/see through and 40 was hat I wore when younger I think but I looked yesterday and there seems to be more options now.

Funny you say about the ex. Not that long ago he told me he still really fancies me and I'm the hottest person he knows....

Hi OP. I am 5'2 and a size 16. Don't be disheartened by sizing in places like h&m - their clothes are cut for teens.

I buy jeggings from m&s - the ones that cost about £35 are a thicker material. Hobbs (at sale time) are good for dresses and tops. I also love phase 8. Not the cheapest, but the cut is good and the clothes are well made, with thicker material.

• on meds and put on..

I could do with jeans, black leggings for under my grey tunic and some warm socks.

OP I could have written this!
I find shopping deeply depressing, nothing seems to fit or suit me and I end up buying something for the children instead.
My problem is also that I don't have huge amounts if money to spend on clothes, so although I would love to buy fewer, better quality clothes, I just can't afford to. I often end up buying in the sales but as a consequence have an odd collection of stuff.
I have found this thread really interesting, so thanks!
You sound better dressed than I am!

I'm sure you look great, stop! I look ok today by total fluke!!!

OP, try M&S for jeans. They do loads of different styles & sizes, so order a variety online, try them on at home & return if they don't fit. They tend to be higher waisted, more generously cut & have high stretch content. Stick to classic straight/slim styles in darker denim and/or black. M&S also do pretty good thick leggings which are great under tunics or long tops & cardies.

Try 80 denier for thick tights.

I second wearing good basics, such as good quality tops and cashmere knitwear. I find adding a nice scarf or chunky necklace draws attention up away from problem areas.

I usually shop online at places like M&s, Boden, White stuff, John Lewis.

I've never found black jeans I like and they always come up small. I tried on blue and bought the same pair in black, same size. Black are too tight. Black clothes often come up smaller than the same item in a different colour. I think, as money is tight for a bit longer, and I do have some clothes, I need to properly sort my wardrobe and try everything on to see what actually fits and suits me.

I am getting a better idea of what I should try though so thank you everyone.

Right now is not always a great time to buy clothes either as there is a lot party nonsense out there ... get a few bits but maybe save your spends for after Xmas?

I'm exactly like you OP, so I've bought two jumper dresses from M&Co (purple and black).
I go to M&S or Sainsburys for leggings (Sainsburys £10 ones), John Lewis opaque tights are fabulous, don't get baggy and really hard wearing.
Boden for wrap tops, again they wash beautifully and either M&S or Debenhams for jeans.
Look at Manteray in Debenhams, they do lovely tunic tops, knitwear.
Stay away from teen shops, they're bound to make you and me depressed!