Help! Dress needed for NY wedding and engagement party and I feel like a drag queen in everything.

[BabCNesbitt]

Sorry, I'm all about the stupid questions today. SAHM for nearly 5 years and I can count on one hand the number of occasions I've "dressed up" (ie not worn one of my regular rotation tops with my jeans) in that time. Now I have two events in the space of a month and I can't figure out what to buy for them as it's been so long since I wore a dress that I feel ridiculous when I think of wearing anything other than jeans and a boring top. (Used to wear dresses and heels every day in the old days... )

Event 1: engagement party in a trendy pub in SE London. Lots of people that I haven't seen for ages. Drinks in afternoon, possible club afterwards if I'm not too much of a knackered old lady.

Event 2: family wedding in frozen plains of the Midwest. Anticipating lots of white teeth and helmet hair. 500 (!) people going, apparently, so no-one's going to give a fuck what I'm wearing except me. Something with sleeves preferred so I don't get hypothermia going from church to reception.

Would prefer to get something that would cover both these events but could go for two outfits if not too expensive. Budget probably only about £75 or so, £100 absolute maximum. I'm 5'5"ish, 14-16 (got really flabby in the last year), very late thirties. Thick-waisted and look terrible in anything flared, so skater or a-line dresses are out. Nothing too femme. HoC Autumn, apparently, and definitely can't wear black as it makes me look dead.

Um... Help?

This is a little over budget but might be worth it
m.johnlewis.com/mt/www.johnlewis.com/jigsaw-silk-top-layered-dress/p2107179?colour=Dark%20Green&un_jtt_v_pdp=yes&un_jtt_v_from_product=un_product_34#page_loaded
I hope you have a successful shopping trip Bab. It's so demoralising not to like anything you try.
Perhaps a little nip of something before you go may help the experience?! not really had some of my best times shopping after tequila shots with an old DP a looong time ago

Brown and very this season

Copper

Olive green

I feel your pain, Bab, I feel trussed up and draggy in anything too feminine. I'm sure you'd look lovely in something girly as short hair rocks but you need to be comfortable.

Topshop out of stock online but you could do a stock check and get it posted if you can't find somewhere local (Knightsbridge have a 14). I'm totally not scouring the web for one in my size.

A jumpsuit appreciate it might not be your thing but I think they look great if they fit well.

this in green

Pants, I do like that dress! It might be a big over budget but frankly I'm getting desperate (and will now have to shop with DD so shots probably not allowed, alas).

Niminy, I never thought I'd say this, but I like that maxi dress!

Sweary, I like the jumpsuit, but just not the colour. Will definitely give jumpsuits a try when out (if DD permits... )

Damn, bad planning re the shots!
Jigsaw can be good for autumns.

I like the maxi dress too. It could look great.

Good luck!

I'm working really and not googling dresses for you but just spotted this one: www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Dorothy+Perkins+Billie+Label%3A+Gem+Trim+Dress/231136551,default,pd.html

Not sure whether it's quite an autumn tone or how long it is but it's dressy without being girly.

Stopping now!

Thanks, Pants I like the look of that, but I've given up on Dorothy Perkins as the last few things I've bought from them have been terrible quality - unlined and practically see-through, and horrid sweaty polyester.

Champagne tastes, lemonade budget...

Babs, I was in Edinburgh on Friday and monsoon and house of Fraser in Jenners had some gorgeous stuff!! Are you near there to pop in?

Alas, no - would be lovely to have a wee stroll around Edinburgh! The nearest House of Fraser is a bit of a schlep away in an out of town shopping centre (no car and public transport takes too long with DD!)

The brown maxi it is then ;-)

Aw that's a pity

Does your local debenhams have a stylist service both near me do might be worth a try and they hopefully will give you an honest opinion. Also they can do all the donkey work round the store and might see stuff you might miss.

Have done HoC too and I'm an autumn, white stuff have loads of good colours this season, if there's one near you I've always found them super helpful. Also in the same sort of predicament last year I bought a dark green lace dress from ( don't tell anyone) asda have now worn to 2 weddings and 1 evening reception. It's not quite me but because the colours worked and I wore it with accessories I already had didn't feel too much not like me, if that makes sense. Good luck!

If you have expensive tastes and lower budget have you tried ebay?

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/LK-Bennett-shift-dress-purple-size-UK-14-16-cost-225-once-worn-/151896050818?hash=item235db5cc82:g:ClwAAOSwwE5WVtyn

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/LK-Bennett-Tina-purple-dress-Size-14-225-/351592051338?hash=item51dc84f28a:g:lZgAAOSwAYtWH5lF

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/issa-ISSA-engagement-style-dress-size-UK-14-16-/262167130051?hash=item3d0a60efc3:g:TCsAAOSwnipWUNnI

The LK Bennett ones in that sort of style are very good at camouflaging any less-than-perfect tummy bits.

Trying, Debenhams is another shop I've become really unimpressed with - so many synthetics that my hair stands on end walking through the racks :/

Pootle, eBay works if you're sure of your size in a particular brand, I think, but I've worn nothing but crappy jeans sand I'll-fitting tops for so long that I don't want to risk buying something if there's no chance of a refund.

A lot of those posted look too 'ladylike' to me and I imagine to you too. I think this is a bit of a problem for those of us who don't see ourselves as ladylike with 'wedding outfit' type clothes generally but, alas, I haven't got any constructive suggestions to make that avoid this.

As for the trendy S London pub,none of the recently posted dresses look at all right for that, but I think the idea of nice top/ blouse and trousers would work well - and go with your pointy flats (which I also love, despite being not at all Audreyesque!)

Totally agree on Debrnhams, btw. I find it an awful place. I'm not usually an M andS fan but if your local one have big Autograph section that would be worth a look, IMO.

Totally agree about 'ladylikeness'. I think that is where Cos does so well, to be honest, because it's an alternative to the feminine look. Anything with frills, ruching, lace etc is just awful on me. It's not my style at all - I want strong, architectural shapes, interesting textures and/or colours.

And also I want sleeves. I wouldn't buy a sleeveless dress for anything.

Hear,hear, specially on sleeves!

So glad to hear that other people know where I'm coming from on not looking very femme! It might sound like I'm saying that I'm quite butch, but I'm really not (I don't think!) It's just that anything even slightly typically feminine just looks really weird on me, like there's a mismatch between my head and the rest of my body.

polyhymnia, should have some child-free time tomorrow to look in M&S, so will head straight to the (smallish) Autograph section and keep my fingers crossed.

What about a jumpsuit, very on trend, not quite so girly?

trouser and matching top

a bit star trek though