Who can help me motivate myself to lose some weight?

[nothingfitsanymore]

It's no good. It doesn't matter what I do to my skin, hair or makeup, OR how much I spend on clothes - I have realised that I am going to feel horrible about the way I look until I manage to lose some weight. It sounds so simple and I've done it before (tendency to yo-yo a bit), but I've been trying to do it for 6 months this time and am only getting bigger and less motivated as I go along.

I'm not massive. I look best as a size 10, feel fine as a size 12, but am currently a 14. I am definitely overweight as I have flab everywhere and my face has got really fat and beefy looking. (obviously a size 14 may well not be overweight for some people). Only a handful of things that I've bought recently fit, and nothing actually looks nice on me, because of the extra weight. So WHY do I keep failing at losing weight? I've tried different approaches - just cutting down a bit, a healthy lifestyle change, exercise, hypnotherapy, trying to motivate myself to follow a slimming world or weight watchers plan (without going to the groups as I con myself that I can do it alone this time but I clearly can't). Nothing is working and I either see no change in weight or just give up and eat compulsively.

Can anyone give me some tips, or cheerlead for me or just identify? I'm so fed up with myself for not sorting myself out.

That was me! I was an chunky 12 rather than my pre baby 8.

Join the gym and eat a lot less and a lot better.

I exercised 6 times a week, cut out carbs and really really pushed myself.

It took 6 months to see a difference and a full year to get to where I wanted to be and stay there.

I eat smallish portions now, eat few carbs and exercise 2-5 times a week. I look and feel good.

I also got into fitness filled instagrams, which spurred me on.

Shall I start with the harsh approach? You sound really defeatist and negative, perhaps the reason nothing is working is your attitude, because in reality, if you were doing anything of the things you listed above properly and giving them a proper go, then you really should be losing weight. (I should caveat that by suggesting you go to the Drs and get your thyroid checked and some general bloods done to check you don't have a minor medical issue which is causing the weight gain).

If all is well, then wipe the slate clean and start again. The simple fact is that energy out must be more than energy in to lose weight. If you can't cut down on what you eat, then maybe exercise it what you need.

Really there are no short cuts and no magic wands to this. Stop eating junky processed foods, watch your portion sizes, eat tons of fruit and vegetables to fill you up, lots of water. Pick ONE evening to have a treat, but make it a nice one and don't let it turn into a blow out. Enjoy it and move on.

Find an exercise you enjoy or you won't do it. Walk instead of drive or take the bus, build it into your normal day so its not so noticeable. Run around with your kids more. Or join a gym, try zumba/yoga/pilates/body pump/martial arts/running/athletics....the list is endless just move more!

So there you go, if the stern telling off and hard facts don't work, I'm sure someone nicer will be along soon with a softer approach.

Good luck! :)

I was you until 6 weeks ago. I joined weight watchers and have now lost almost a stone. I can't do it myself, I need the fear of a weigh in.

Also be very strict about recording what you actually eat as I was kidding myself on. It was a major eye opener and no wonder I'd put in so much weight.

I was also you 6 weeks ago and i am still only at the beginning of my story (again) but hoping for long lasing results this time. Don't expect to loose weight quickly. Resign yourself to the fact that it's going to take several months of perseverance and that a 1 or 2Ib a week loss is ok. I have done ever diet under the sun and I have always ended up fatter - that's because that's exactly the way all these big companies design their diets - so you keep going back and spending money.

I cut out booze for a month - it wasn't fun and it wasn't pretty but I did it (and felt pretty good for it). I'm also only eating real, proper food - no processed junk. Moderate your carbs - don't eat bread, white rice, pasta etc. Get your carbs from fruit, veg and perhaps a small amount of brown rice or cous cous / quinoa. Make your portions smaller and if you need to snack stick to protein - not high fat, high sugar convenience foods.

Also make sure you are working out effectively. There is no point poncing about in the gym for an hour if you're not even breaking a sweat. There are LOADS of workout guides on the web or get a fitness DVD or something. It doesn't have to be much - even 30mins a day will be better than nothing.

I know how hard it is - I've gained and lost the same few stone about 100 times over the last 10 years so I'm no expert but I do know it won't come easy (and if it does it won't stick!!!)

I was you earlier this year. BMI 26.5 and wearing 12/14 clothes, feeling really flabby. In March I started 5:2 and generally paying attention to what I was eating (didn't cut out anything but was aware of calories and reduced the amount of sugar I was eating).

By the end of August I had lost 23 pounds and am now wearing 8/10 clothes. I'm so, so happy I did it and feel I have learnt enough to maintain this weight. Bigger clothes have been sold on eBay and the money spent on a new wardrobe of size 8/10 clothes!

P.S. when it comes to emotional/comfort eating, finally I just understood that eating cake was not going to solve my problems, eating cake was just making me fatter, still with the same problems. I still eat cake sometimes but for the enjoyment of cake, not as some magic cure for all life's misery.

I should also say I speak from experience too, I wasn't just being harsh. I've dropped a stone and a dress size since March by exercising and adopting a healthier diet. Calorie restrictive diets don't work for me I get too hungry. I eat between 2500 and 3000 calories (roughly I don't always keep track) of healthy, unprocessed foods high in protein and healthy fats. I snack on nuts and homemade flapjacks and fruit. I'm never hungry. I used to snack on biscuits and have crisps with my lunch, now I see how empty and unfilling they are compared to proper, well made food. I love chocolate, but instead of a cheap crappy bar I have a couple of squares of really good quality dark chocolate. Its the cocoa hit that satisfies the craving, not all that added sugar. Aldi do pretty good dark chocolate in individually wrapped portions really cheap - the dark salted one is divine.

I keep all this in check with exercising 4 times a week, I love HIIT gym classes and youtube videos. There are some great at home programmes out there (Kayla Itsines, Jillian Michaels, Shaun T are particularly brutal but achievable at home a few times a week with little equipment and will produce results)

Have you noticed that the common theme of these responses though are that this is hard work and will take time. Be patient.

Why not going on the weight loss chat thread.

Lots of posters on there who are encouraging one another.

I think you need to find something that fits into your life and is sustainable, I also think that if you want to do WW or SW you do get on better when you go to a good group. I think it also helps if you know which foods will keep you full and energised for longer (3 egg Spanish omelette with loads of veg 6 points, full for ages. Low fat cheese homemade white bread sandwich 9 points, craving a snack a couple of hours later).

Then you need to want to be slim more than you want to eat cake, there is that uote, 'one reason that people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up, instead of what they have to gain', it is very true imo.

I have to focus on my diet because there are times when, other than walking, I don't get time to exercise. I've lost about 3 stone without sweating much tbh, I do yoga and pilates but apart from that I just walk and make up excuses to walk.

The other thing is that every half stone or so I sort out my wardrobe so that I always feel nice about what I am wearing. I also get rid of jeans when they get loose as I tend to get complacent and start eating too much. I have also had the odd rest here and there where I have not gone mad, but just not lost any weight for a week.

You also have to stop being so polite, I used to get cajoled into eating cake, 'oooh, you only live once, life's too short', life is indeed too short and it will be even shorter if i don't get my health in order!

sorry about the typo, the key to the left of 'W' does not work!

My motivational tip. .. look at old photos of yourself, pull out an old fave dress/jeans you want to get into, decide on a pricey item you will buy when a size down (if you lose 2 sizes you can get it tailored)

Motivation : you'll do it when you want to, but try Dr becks diet solution book.. its kind of a cbt diet that focuses on motivation and self talk

All great tips. Other ones... attractive newith gym clothes, beauty reward each week you lose weight (could be as simple as a new nail polish)

It does seem like my tips all involve spending money! One free one: exercise because you love your body? Not because you hate it x

I was pushing a size 14 at the end of last summer (I'm a teacher so it was a good six weeks of eating and drinking!) and felt horrible. I bought a Jawbone fitness band and used that to track steps, plus did an exercise DVD four times a week. I used My Fitness Pal to track calories (it can work in tandem with the Jawbone) and by half term was back to my usual 10/12 - I'm 5ft 6 so this is a good size for me. I've lost a few more pounds since and just carried on with this routine - most days I average about 15,000 steps and over this summer I pushed myself to go for a walk although I was more relaxed about food/drink, and maintained my weight. I try to stick to about 1500 calories Monday to Thursday, then do my own thing over the weekends which works for me to maintain. If I want to skip a DVD I think about how fed up I feel if the scales go up - I weigh myself every week - and force myself to do it!

There's a low carb boot camp about to start in here. It's 10 weeks and usually pretty effective. You could be done by Christmas!

Get some pretty plates (just for your use) that are 20% smaller than the ones you normally use, and a much smaller wine glass. By filling them, you will still have a full plate but your consumption will drop!

Excellent advice on here. You need to take a long hard look at what the reasons are for your particular weight gain - too much booze? Too much cake? No exercise ever? Portions too large? For me, it was way too much booze and too much sugar in general - sweet yogurts, chocolate nearly every day, biscuits at work, too much processed food. So that's what had to change. For me, cutting way back on my sugar intake has been the way forward, as well as taking up exercise habits that I (mostly!) enjoy and can fit into my lifestyle. I now drink about a fifth of what I used to, keep chocolate to weekends and small amounts of dark chocolate, and rarely have cake or puddings. I feel and look about a thousand times better for it - my stomach is flat-ish and my face has completely changed shape!

Someone said on here on a similar thread that weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise and I agree with that. Although the benefits of exercise apart from weight loss are absolutely life changing, so its really important to find a type of exercise you can do, and do it regularly.

You could try the Paul McKenna hypnotic gastric band - it's good at giving you confidence in your decision to lose weight. Since listening to it my portion sizes have got smaller and I've started eating what I really like but small portions. It seems to work for me as I don't feel deprived.
The current advice to cut out carbs is hellish for me as I love bread & pasta and I now eat them guilt free but not too much.
I don't like sweet things so that's not an issue for me.

I would also recommend getting a dog for anyone wanting to lose weight! I have lost 2 stone in the year since I got my rescue hound as she needs 3 walks a day whatever the weather!

I think you are me! I could have written that word for word.

I have lost weight 3 times in my life, twice doing weight watchers and once when I started going to the gym 5 times a week. I lost 3 stone and kept it off for nearly 10 years. Until now when I am once again size 14. I think hormones are playing a part for me as I am period menopausal I think. 2 years ago 2 stone just arrived, along with its friend a huge stomach, and has refused to leave. I have lost a stone 3 times in that time, and it just goes straight back on again as soon as I stop restricting what I eat.

There are some things I have tried that have worked in the past for me that may be worth a try for you?

My Fitness Pal is great- the times I have lost weight recently have been down to using this.

I still go to the gym 4/5 times a week, but I have totally changed what I do there. I deliberately changed to a gym I had to walk to, which adds 30 minutes walk to the exercise equation. I started doing the classes instead of the cross trainer and I love them! It has been a complete revelation to me that you can enjoy exercise. I do Zumba, aerobics, fat burn etc. So this may be something to try?

Also I wanted to tell you about cauliflower! I have cauliflower rice with low fat curry, cauliflower mash with stews etc. It really feels like eating carbs but isn't. Also the Hairy Dieters books are good for low calorie versions of nice food. There is also a Gok Wan book with lots of low calorie Asian inspired dishes in.

Sadly despite the cauliflower and gym sessions, the weight isn't shifting for me now. I think down to hormones, but also because I seem to lack the motivation to go really hardcore with the diet. I don't know where to get the motivation from either! I think I can't do it because the weight goes straight back on these days, whereas in the past I kept it off.