Style identity crisis. Can anyone direct me?

[Luckystar1]

I am 29 with 11 month old DS. I used to be (I think...) fairly stylish, but since having DS I've massively lost my way.

I really, really want to look stylish and polished but I am intrinsically lazy when it comes to the polish and I am really, really, really struggling with what clothes to wear.

DS is still bf, but much less frequently, so I can start to wear more restrictive clothing, but what?

I am 5ft 5, short legs (they're quite chunky). I gave a smallish waist with bigger hips. In my mind I would be a shirts with jackets/jumpers type?

I am also very pale. I have thick hair but I absolutely can't do anything with it, it always looks like a bush and I have bits of baby hair on show when I tie it back (which I don't suit as I have a pea head! I do get my nails done and my eyebrows.

Please help style me!

Hi. Ok, body first. I share some of your characteristics (5'5", short, chunky legs, smallish waist). I am also terminally lazy about clothes when not at work. I am the slut on the school run. I guess it depends what you like and whether you are looking at everyday stuff. For really casual stuff, you could try layering quite fitted (but not restrictive) tops, such as a skinny rib cotton long sleeved top (or wool polo neck when it gets colder) to flatter your waist, under a casual jacket or zip up top, with the caveat that said jacket needs to be feminine (ie cut with a waist) if you want to feel a bit more feminine. Try Uniqlo for tops and for jacket/zip up, H&M and Sweaty Betty and everywhere else. For slightly smarter looks, same principle applies, a fitted jacket. Lots of stuff on the high street and Next have 2 types of wool smart-ish jackets (one is Harris Tweed).
On the bottom, if it's jeans, you need to try them on. Gap do bootlegs for pear shapes. M&S also ok. I am too chunky of leg to wear really skinny jeans but a few years ago found Levis jeggings (no longer available) surprisingly wearable. They have just brought out a new range (800 series) for curves. I also find wide leg sporty/yoga type trousers easy to wear as they skim the thighs. If you want to do dresses and skirts, flared at the bottom will work. Empire lines can work too but aren't for everyone. Knee length/midi with knee high boots look good.
Hair: how long is it? Is is curly or just thick? You may need a product overhaul and to try a new approach to managing your hair. It may be worth getting a consultation for a hair cut, but don't know if you need one!

Skin: mine is very different but thinking of family members and friends, pale is not a problem! Pick clothing colours that flatter. Depending on hair colour, autumn colours (rusts, berry colours, soft greys) can look lovely for makeup and clothes.

It sounds to me like you have a lot going for you so don't worry! I actually embrace my sluttishness and enjoy surprising people when I do make an effort. Have a look at bloggers for inspiration. Although I'm irritated by some lifestyle showing off, some are good for inspiration. Schoolrunstyle is good. Not my body type, but has lots of casual outfits nicely put together. Once you have had a play around and worked out what you like, you can hunt online from places like TK Maxx to keep prices down. Good luck.

Thank you!!! I think in my head I want to be one of these effortlessly polished people, but my sheer laziness (and the baby...) prevent me from being so!!

I'm getting a haircut tomorrow. I have hated my hair post baby (it was very long before and I cut it all to just above shoulder length), so I'm hoping to feel better about that at least. The problem I have with products is that I have a very tempermental scalp so i have to be careful with products.

But thank you so much for replying! I will take a look and invest some time properly checking things out!

Dare I say it, but on the hair front, you might want to try the "curly girl" approach, which isn't confined to curly hair. Basically, you avoid shampoos with sulphates in them, as these not only cleanse but strip the hair. Non-sulphate shampoos and cleansing creams are much more gentle. High street pharmacies have started to stock hair cleansing creams.

After DS2 I had serious skin problems (presumably stress, tiredness and multiple stripping of hands with alcohol gel each time I went to see him in the special care baby unit). I still get occasional break outs of dermatitis type symptoms at the edge of the scalp and on the hands and use Eumovate to calm it down. Eating more whole foods and fats (nuts, avocado etc) also helped my skin (although eating anything and everything was what I did when bf).
Just remember it's completely normal to feel you've lost your Mojo a bit after a baby. Many others at baby groups/shopping centres/Rhyme Time at the library will be feeling the same, it's just that for some reason, we don't all talk about it. Hope the new hair cut helps.

Thank you, I will look into the curly girl. I got a bob, loving it ( although I'm sure that will change once I blow dry it...!)

I hope your DS is all better now. These babies do like to put us poor mothers through the mill!