What do guests wear to weddings these days?

[cathyandclaire]

It's been a long while since I've been to a wedding and "Four Weddings and a Funeral' time was when we hit peak attendance, so in my mind weddings mean linen suits and enormous hats. I'm guessing that is totally wrong for a 5pm do in a gorgeous hotel in late November!
So please help me, what is the 'done' thing now?
Hats? Fascinators? Cocktail dresses? Suits? Coats?
I'm in my late mid forties if that makes any difference but will NOT be doing mum-style Jacques Vert matching ensembles even if they have had a renaissance

Dresses from Coast. Fascinators are a bit out of fashion I think.

So nothing on head or a little Dita VonTease pillbox type thing?

I was wondering about a little strapless (not sparkly or OTT in any other way) dress I've had my eye on for a while with a velvet coat on top for the service.

I think it's fine to wear something on your head but from the weddings I've been to recently, and my own, most people don't.
What you are suggesting sounds fine, especially for an evening wedding in November.

A strapless dress with a velvet coat sounds lovely for a winter wedding.
Very few people wear hats or fascinators these days.
I think that something simple and elegant looks really stylish and a lot of wedding guest style can be a bit 'try hard'.
The most important thing is to wear something that you love and feel good in so you can relax and enjoy the celebrations.

Thanks, very happy not to wear anything on my head, just didn't want to look like I couldn't be bothered IYSWIM.

I wouldn't wear strapless.

Aaaagh! Scarlet that was my fear, that it was too exposed.

Damn, I'd just talked myself (with a little help from my DDs) into buying the dress.

The velvet coat is fitted, like a frock coat, so during the service all that will be visible is the triangle of dress at the top and some of the skirt, I would then whip it off to hit the dance floor.

Doubting myself again now.

That might be alright, is there a sit down meal though?

You couldn't really wear your coat while eating. Do you know any other guests, what are they wearing?

I know a couple of other guests and they are as clueless as me
I probably could wear it for a meal, it's a Vivienne Westwood light velvet one and could almost be worn as a coat-dress. I think I may have to drag the bride out for cocktails and interrogate her!

a little shawl/shrug would solve the strapless problem if you felt uncomfortable.

this one for example
www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Jane+Norman+All+Over+Lace+Shrug/218156451,default,pd.html&$$ja=cgid:8743095715|tsid:44970|cid:176423035|lid:92508606115|nw:g|crid:50945783275|rnd:15604833760388853694|dvc:c|adp:1o5|mt:|bku:1

(wow isn't that a snappy link)

The last winter wedding I went to, I wore a fitted, knee length dress from Phase Eight (cream, with a black/blue floral photo-print), then a short, black jacket with a furry collar over the top. Warm enough for the service, but the dress was decent on its own.

Worth checking Phase Eight - they are very good at this sort of dress. Ditto Coast.

Please NOT strapless. It is a day event primarily, (albeit at 5.00 pm) so a day dress with a jacket or even a fur jacket because it is November. You can always glam the dress up for the evening with a sparkly necklace and earrings. Have a look at web sites like the Telegraph Fashion one. They have brilliant advice. Dark reds and dark greens are very in this Autumn so a plum or dark green coloured dress and a pale fur jacket would do me.

I think your coat would also be great if you can find a dress that tones in with it. A similar shade of blue or grey? Lace works well for day and evening. A hat for November might be difficult though. I would look for a fur hat perhaps? A wide brimmed fedora can look glamourous. You can always wear it to the ceremony and put it in your car for the rest of the day.

Also, if you want a "wedding" style of hat, choose a pillbox type hat like Duchess Kate or a saucer hat on a headband like her mother. Everyone wears this style now. Definitely not a huge picture hat and nothing in white or black. Your are not the bride, nor at a funeral.

Look at LK Bennett, Damsel in a Dress, Phase 8 or Jaeger sale for some ideas. I have to say, the wedding sounds like fun.

Coast have a gorgeous pale coral lace dress with gold running through with gold underskirt.

£65 in sale.

Sadly it's gone from their website but there's plenty in their stores.

Here it is

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Coast+Eliza+lace+dress/225910824,default,pd.html

It's beautiful. I early got it for my ownweddingbut then went for off white

Nearly

Anything here.

I got the dress I'm wearing for my wedding here. It's now gone from the site

www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Eliza+J/BRAND_ELIZA%20J,default,sc.html?cm_mmc=Google+Adwords--Head+Term+-+Eliza+J+-+RLSA+-+%28BMM%29--Head+Term+-+Eliza+J+-+RLSA+-+%28BMM%29--%2Beliza+%2Bj&$ja=tsid:69569%7Ccid:262657001%7Cagid:19953576881%7Ctid:aud-77714418879:kwd-35338067992%7Ccrid:85091196641%7Cnw:g%7Crnd:11756118745706282065%7Cdvc:t%7Cadp:1t1%7Cmt:b

A Viv West velvet coat deserves a strapless dress! Go for it!

If it were my wedding I would adore you for coming so beautifully dressed!

Velvet frock coat and strapless dress (as described) sound wonderful.

(Frock coat buttoned for the Service, unbuttoned for meal, carefully thrown aside later?)

Have you looked at reversed boleros, beaded, or lace that you wear over a strapless dress ...?

I think we need a link to the Vivienne Westwood frock coat to be able to tell for sure.

Thanks so much for all the ideas, lots of lovely links to consider.
Sadly no link to the VW coat as I've had it a while, just rarely wear it as it's very nipped in at the waist so can't be bloated/blobby!
It's interesting Milly that you thought it was primarily a day event, as I thought 5pm in the winter going on to dinner and dancing was more eveningy. I think I just need to ask the bride (not specifics about my outfit, just general dress code.) She's quite a party girl and they do everything well, so I know it'll be a great day :)

I think it sounds lovely for a winter wedding

Sounds fab. Hope you get something lovely?