Sorting myself out - give me a simple 'makeoever' ? (pics in profile)

[TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge]

I've given in to admitting how totally crap I feel about myself. The past 5 years have washed away half of me, due to lack of help (and for a while school) for my severely autistic son who needs constant attention, and I'm completely on my own. Haven't seen friends for nearly 3 years,stopped taking care of myself like I used to and have ballooned in size although that's shedding. I haven't looked in a mirror for heaven knows how long, aside from a compact size one that I can only see little bits of me in and in changing rooms a couple of weeks ago that made me want to cry! I've always been insecure about the way I look (abusive parents) and really have gone to pot, probably been slightly depressed for a while but hey ho! I'm desperate to be me again and the bit I'm really struggling with, the rest I can manage, is looking like 'me' or just like someone who hasn't been dragged through a hedge backwards after being hit with every ugly stick going!!!

Anyway, I'm 33, roughly an 18 but smaller waist. Hourglass with 38J boobage!! Being hourglass still means the weight is chunked all over my entire body making me look even larger. My hair is an issue colour wise, I'm naturally some shade of brown, golden brown when I was a kid but it darkened to a yucky dull darker brown as I got older. I've been every shade of red/ginger going and have gone back to a brown but am stupidy insecure.

So, my needs are help with hair colour, maybe a cut that is manageable with my curls (although I tend to just chuck it in ponytail) and some nice but relaxed outfits for during the day, I don't really go anywhere, work at home and only go out with ds really although respite is starting again so I can venture into town and maybe one day to the theatre or something?!

Only requirements with clothes is, aside from being nice but not ott, I don't want cleavage showing, I always cover my shoulders/upper arms, and I don't show legs unless covered in leggings!

Just braved temporary pics in profile for hair help. Two are two years old, the last one bravely taken today...I don't do photos

Please help me, it's like my sticking point and people aren't taking me very seriously with the state I've become (pics don't quite show that tbf)

Thank you :) Will take a proper look through in the morning and plan some online shopping. Have to say those pics are a vast improvement on how I look daily at the mo wearing my hair up really doesn't look right on me either!

Trip, I clicked on your photos and just wanted to post "bloody hell, woman, you're stunning!" Then I read your OP and realised that [a] you probably wouldn't believe me, and [b] you're looking for visible changes so you can change the way you feel about yourself.

I'm very sorry you've been treated like shit and are finding life hard. I'll leave you in S&B's capable hands :) They've got a very easy job with you!

Why don't you go a bit shorter with the hair??
minkhairdressing.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/emma-stone.jpg

This boohoo dress is great over leggings / skinny jeans for day,comes in lots of colours:
www.boohoo.com/day-dresses/claudia-jersey-cap-sleeve-skater-dress/invt/azz63605

OP you have got the most beautiful hair! its gorgeous. I think a rich chocolate brown would look great.

I second others here i think you need a pampering session. get your eyebrows threaded by a professional, it totally changes your face and makes you look more polished. maybe go to a good makeup counter - laura mercier and/or bobbi brown for some new make up ideas? the right lipstick can work wonders.

in terms of how you feel about yourself - have you thought about taking up a new exercise class or something? when I am stressed/upset I head to the gym. I know its not for everyone, but the endorphins really help to give you a boost and feeling positive that you are making changes/concentrating on the amazing things your body can do can help? is there something you have always wanted to try?

clothes wise - how about some good basics? i find a good place to start is the right pair of jeans. you can dress them up or down. are you also sure you are in the correct size bra?

Definitely get a good, well-fitting bra. First step before getting any new tops.

This will have the biggest overall effect on how you see your body, I reckon.

Hair looks fab in pics, but that's just envy, as I've always wanted curls, and am not blessed. I know from friends with curly hair that it can be a pita. Try youtube for different ways to put up curly hair, as a small tweak on your basic ponytail could make all the difference to how you feel about it.

You are lovely!

The John Frieda Frizz Ease range is good for curly hair.

Maybe try skinny jeans/the M&S jeggings instead of leggings? They hold the tunny in better and look much nicer (imho) than leggings. Personally I don't think that the, 'leggings and a floaty top' look flatters many people. Skinnies, a loose-ish top and a fitted jersey blazer worn open (or jersey biker) much more flattering than leggings, I think, and still comfortable.

Oh and you really don't need to spend a lot of money to get decent makeup now, especially if you're just experimenting until you find what you like. MUA stuff (in Superdrug) has improved enormously, and Sleek stuff is also good (not quite as cheap as MUA but still cheap!).

If you do want to splurge a bit, I'd recommend the Urban Decay Naked sets - maybe the Basics ones? I think it's about £25.

wow your hair is great.

do you use Frizz Ease John Frieda on it?

a great bra is good.

I picked out a few nice tops from H&M:-

www.hm.com/gb/product/96724?article=96724-A&piaDept=Subdepartment_ladies&piaType=Large_picture

www.hm.com/gb/product/19238?article=19238-B

www.hm.com/gb/product/12041?article=12041-A

what I'd also do invest in a nice eyeliner or eyeshadow - sometimes that can really 'lift' your look. Laura mercier do nice ones or Bobbi Brown

Just realised that I wrote 'tunny' rather than 'tummy.' Idiot!

Can I suggest that you Google 'Curly Girl method'. It will guide you through the sorts of products and methods to use to enhance the curls and to get rid of any frizz. Lots of MNetters swear by it - I started following it a few months ago and my curls are now, well, curls, whereas before i would just have said I had fuzzy hair. (But note that Frizz Ease is NOT Curly Girl friendly - it contains lots of silicones which Curly Girls try to avoid)

Thanks everyone. I like some of the suggestions and have been looking for v necked tops for a while, never thought to check H&M for them.

How are H&M for delivery times at the moment? I know they went downhill a couple of years ago, remember waiting a month for one delivery that kept changing it's date. Have they picked up? Going on holiday (only Haven) in a couple of weeks and could do with bits before then, ashamedly I currently have one pair of jeans, leggings, two tops and a cardi that fit ,I tend to spend a fortune on ds and the house. Today I was going to order sandals and clothes but bought new tools instead

Still undecided on the hair colour, the problem with the coppery colours is the upkeep -fades quickly, roots are very obvious, and it's hard to cover with anything else. Half of me loves it, half of me wants something a bit more natural.

You've all made me feel a bit better anyway, thank you :)

I can't see your photos just now but if you are an hourglass, you need a waist in whatever you are wearing.

FWIW I was in a similar though different position three years ago. It is very possible to get yourself back, physically and mentally,, or a newer wiser version.

pepperberry your size sale. I am not a mad fan of them but I think you need to avoid sizing up to fit your chest. Waists, l tell you!

I second green- try the curly girl method, or at least try silicone free for a bit- is v good for curls.

You are very pretty- I think if you want to feel better as well as look better, could you afford to so some nice things for you? Join Zumba/ Pilates (whichever is more your thing!), have a massage?

Make up wise, clarins have a little 5 minute kit at the moment which isn't cheap, but is easy and feels like a treat.

H and m have weird sizing, I don't recommend ordering online! But good if you can get to a shop. If you want v inexpensive, go try on everything in asda- some of their stuff is much better on, than on the hanger (and vice versa).

Good luck!

You are lovely looking ????

I second a bra intervention thread too. They know their stuff including places to buy good quality bras cheaply

you are very pretty. Have you tried cos - the clothes are simple I have a friend with your sort of dimensions and she gets lovely dresses there that sort of skim

I wouldn't bother with an online H&M order. Their sizing is irritatingly erratic at best. Also their fabrics are often shoddy - you need to look at things in store to see if they are even worth trying on. The one thing I do recommend from there are their longline vests, which are a brilliant layer for sucking things in a bit, and covering the bum if wearing skinnies!

I saw the Marks jeans in sage yesterday, and they are a nice subtle green colour.

Wow. You are very attractive. As others have said, beautiful hair (prefer your natural brown as it lets your eyes take the stage), stunning (green/blue/topaz) eyes, lovely oval face, great nose and mouth shape. Lovely cheekbones too. You're very lucky. You have a very feminine look and great foundations to work with.

I think you need a confidence boost. Can you visit a department store and ask for advice? The sales are on and bargains are to be had!

I think if you're curvy then the best thing to do is wear skimming/fitted clothes. Don't whatever you do be tempted to go down the baggy/tent route. You don't say how tall you are so this will have an impact on how you style yourself too. Regarding your boobage. Bravissimo is your friend. Get yourself a good bra and the rest is plain sailing.

At the risk of going all woo, you look like your colouring could put you into the Spring category (light/bright/warm) so keep your clothes, make-up, hair and accessories light, bright and warm too.

Finally, you have an hourglass figure, considered by many to be the best of the types. make the most of it and show off your waist.

good luck and let us know how you get on.

Updates were asked for so here's one!

Ended up buying a few bits before holiday,no idea if they suited me but nevermind!

Anyway, things went very wrong on hols, ds was detained under the mental health act and I spent 40 hours awake. This lead to lots of self evaluation and thinking of general ways to improve things for both of us, which also lead to me realising that I need to do some things for me too which will have a positive impact on ds as it's bloody hard talking to him constantly for 16 hours a day when I don't have anything else! For my own sanity and to keep me putting on a smile I need to do something and then I'll deal with incidents like the above much better - took about a week for me to fully get over what had happened and not lulling around the house feeling rather numb.

Anyway, last week I was offered overnight respite back (after 3 years!) which starts next week and will be every week, starting 4pm til 10am then increasing to a whole 24 hours. BAM! I instantly felt a sense of normality, thought about freedom and doing things (then opting for music, films and baths in peace!) and found part of me again.

Then I started online shopping ;) seeing things I liked and bought for the first time in years, to be fair. Only bought shoes and boots so far but it felt good and I feel better about me knowing I'll have 'just me' time, even if being on my todd does make me odd lol

Going back to golden brown this week too, I think and need to stop hiding me and wondering where I've gone lol

The weight loss front went a bit wrong though but I can easily and quickly fix that!

So sorry to hear the hard time you have had, but am really happy for you that the respite is back :) Lovely new start for you, will it be once a week?
hope you can re-connect with some old friends, or get out and about and make some new ones too.
I never saw your photos but have read all this thread and it sounds like you are lovely. Good luck :)

how's it going TripTrapTripOverTheBridge ?

Just seen this!

Well, I dyed my hair back to 'light golden brown' and it came out nearly black it is fading though!

Other than that, aside from feeling a bit happier, naff all has happened really. I'll be taking myself shopping soon and getting the weight off, which will make me feel a million times better!

Haven't done anything on the Fridays,but will be going to the theatre in a couple of weeks to see Mack and Mabel (musical), on my own though as none of my local living friends are into musicals or theatre really. So I will be treating myself to some new clothes before then as I don't want to go out looking a total mess

That's a start, right?