I need help dressing my husband

[SharingMichelle]

He has absolutely no interest in what he wears.

We live somewhere very hot and he wears baggy shorts and a t-shirt or striped polo shirt every day. With sandals. The overgrown toddler look that men favour these days.

The problem is what to wear in the evenings. We go out a lot to parties, dinners, cocktail dos, bbqs - usually outside on the beach or in gardens, and he says that shorts and a polo shirt is a normal and reasonable thing to wear out to dinner. His concession is to choose reasonably clean shorts and a polo shirt with almost no holes.

I have vague notions of him wearing pale linen trousers and a James May floral shirt. The sandals are non-negotiable. I have decided to buy him something and hope that he might be persuaded to wear it, but having spend an hour online at Gap and John Lewis I'm a bit flummoxed.

He's very big - tall and wide and a little overweight. Sort of eccentric I suppose. He's very traditional. It would need to be something classic - absolutely nothing trendy, and nothing uncomfortable or fiddly. He's in his 40s. Oh I think I have even less idea than him.

Is anyone interested in advising me?

My DP is exactly the same. He would live in sludge green fishing gear if he had his way.

I have taken the slowly slowly approach to smartening him up which is paying off. He wears good quality polo shirts (keep their shape, collars don't curl etc) linen shirts, jeans. He's also got a couple of suits (mmmm hello handsome), couple of pairs of smart trousers, decent shirts and ties.

In general he tends to get most of his basic items from Marks and Spencer, but he wears a fair bit of stuff from Fat Face, Weird Fish, Joe Browns - he likes the fit and he feels "trendy"

He will never be a style icon but at least he doesn't look like a bloody scruff bag any more!

There are a lot of short sleeved shirts around. Great with shorts and trousers and are a bit informal but a bit smarter (and much cooler!) than polo shirts.

FFFS.

Just tried to order from GAP and it won't accept my order because I don't have a US credit card. And of course it doesn't tell me that until I've already spent 25 minutes navigating the endless checkout forms. How utterly rage inducing.

How about some of the more specialist shops? Here we have one called "Big and Tall" (Ireland) - not sure if they sell online but there may be options like that to get a better choice of things that might fit well.

I got DH a shirt from Pink (I think) or somewhere of that ilk a few years ago, small blue flowers all over. He quite likes it, it's somewhat James May in style, but he gets totally ribbed by his family if he ever wears it around them. But he also needs 100% cotton.

Funnily enough, the other place he gets a lot of stuff (other than Gap and Lands End) is Primark. They fit his shape, are 100% cotton, and are comfortable for him.

I've ordered from Gap using an Irish credit card - even from the US site. Perhaps try to change the location to your one, or the location your card is based?

Have you looked at Crew clothing? My other half has lots of shirts from there, which he manages to look smart it. he also has very traditional taste and its good quality cotton. How about some coloured chinos? I know red are very frowned upon, but with a shirt it can look smart - maybe a blue or a green.

would he cope with loafers? or deck shoes? or maybe toms are a good option - neutral but smart and comfy.

You have my sympathies OP. Similar H here. And he creates 'rules' to further limit his choices, e.g. I don't like polo shirts, or I don't like buttons, etc. Heap o'crap. We went on hols last year, he brought 1, yes, ONE shirt for 10 days/dinners. I hit the roof We have reached some sort of agreement over the years, mainly cos I insisted. If I'm dressing up then you do too. Like Paperb above, I just buy him stuff, Gap chinos (careful, some look really old fashioned), a few good shirts (cotton and linen), and then I go over the top tell him how amazing he looks all spruced up.

Thank goodness for you BiddyPop. You made me go back and really check instead of just stropping about and I CAN deliver here. Woohoo.

Oh god lurking - the rules. No button down collars. No double cuffs. No toe-posts. No rubber soles. No logos. And this from a man who thinks tartan shorts and a checked polo shirt go together.

My husband is the same, mainly because he hates shopping! I have bought him some great shirts, both short- and long-sleeved (classic but stylish looking), and also chinos, on JCrew. It's pricey but the sales are good (one on at the moment). I think they ship all over the world. I also buy him t-shirts and jumpers in Uniqlo, and underwear. Jigsaw used to do a great menswear section, but not sure if they still do...

Michelle someone up thread mentioned Lands End -they're definitely worth a look (unless you've already sorted Gap). They do a good range of sizes, and some lovely seersucker shirts, which are lovely and cool.

This is wonderful. Thank you so much everyone for all the store suggestions. I have gone from listlessly clicking through John Lewis to having about 10 new shops to try. Nice also to know that I'm not the only one married to a man who sees clothes as functional, practical and boring.

Get him new ones of what he normally wears. There is no point trying to restyle him.

My dh really rates Levi chinos they are very nice. Kind of a modern cut.

Otherwise white stuff do nice chino.

If you are somewhere without shops so you have tailors who could copy styles?

Seriously? Can you imagine the uproar if a man was trying to do this to a woman?

Let his dress himself ffs.

My DP has a minimal wardrobe, but gets most stuff from Carhartt. It manages to be quite cool-looking, but not as if you'd tried in the least. And it's hardwearing. Not cheap, mind.

Let HIM even!!

Fat Face is great for short sleeve shirts. They are now the staple of my DH's going out ensemble, after a friend bought him one a few years ago.

Their chinos look pretty good too.

Do you think you could upgrade him to boat shoes to complete the look?

I don't think it's so simple Cordelia. H doesn't have to wear what I buy. And I'm sure Sharing's H won't wear it if he's not happy in it. I do get what you're saying, and it does irk me somewhat. It took me years to accept that if I didn't intervene, H would be dressing in his school clothes. Like the OP, he has absolutely zero interest in clothes beyond functionality. However, that's not how the world works. And there are occasions when he needs to appropriately dress.

I know a number of men that buy their partners' clothes. Not that unusual.

I just let DH get on with it! He probably doesn't like a lot of what I wear but doesn't comment (actually my DCs probably complain more than he does!!)

I get what you're saying though, didn't mean to write my comment earlier the way I did.

I wouldn't mind but H's brothers dress really well, and like clothes and his mum dresses so well. I love clothes too. Grr.

I do see what you're saying Cordelia, but my husband isn't being harassed about this. I told him earlier that I was going to buy him some yellow trousers and asked him if he wanted to see them, he said "oh righto, no I'll leave it to you" and we both understand that there is no power on this earth that would make him wear something he didn't much fancy. I have 20 years experience of the scruffy bugger and a fairly good idea of which clothes exist in that narrow crossover between 'what he'll wear', and 'what I'd quite like him to wear on a night out'.

Love the boat shoes Pants, but I'm afraid the sandals are going nowhere. He owns three pairs of shoes - 1 smart, 1 sandals, and trainers for sport purposes only. I particularly love men in those Toms canvas shoes, but that's a lost cause.

That carhartt link is brilliant herb. I think dh would happily dress exclusively from there!

I think for going out/evening he should swap the polo shirt for a crisp cotton or linen mix short sleeved shirt (checked or plain) and wear smarter shorts ie not baggy no side pockets and nice leather sandals. Maybe have one pair of chino type trousers for smarter events or cooler evenings.

For hot climates I really like the 'French bloke/preppy' look of a long sleeve gingham/checked/plain shirt worn with with rolled up sleeves, paired with slim fitting navy/plain bermuda shorts and canvas slip ons - but that can be harder to pull off if he is not slender.

Glad you like Carhartt!

But no to boat shoes. To me they scream 'tosspot'.