Bra help please!

[guineapig1]

I realise that I am a bit late for the party having spent for as long as I can remember in maternity clothes but have been scouring the bra intervention threads as I really need to sort out my boobs and would really appreciate it if one of you lovely knowledgeable ladies would check that I am starting in the right place before I hit debenhams on Wednesday!!

So, I have measured as best I can tell as 34 inches band and 44 inches round the boobs. My googling tells me that this suggests starting at 34gg!! Is this at all plausible or am I completely barking up the wrong tree. Have spent last few months in a combination of 38f and 40e which may explain the wild overspilly look I have tended to sport. Also if anyone could recommend a style (make/model) of bra to suit a size 14 ish with aforesaid out of control boobs that would be marvellous. Thank you so much

I am only in the process of finding better fitting bras myself, but I have read a lot of info about it over the past few days.

In terms of style and models of bras, what helps with recommendations is things like whether the breasts are far apart or closer together, shallow and wide on your chest, or narrower and projecting out more. There is a good list of questions from one of the experts on this old thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/a2208927-Non-standard-boobs-bra-help-needed

The site Bratabase has lots of suggestions of models of bra to suit various shapes, and blog reviews are sometimes helpful enough to say what shape a particular bra might suit (even if it wasn't great for the blogger herself).

If you're overspilling in a 38F it's not remotely unreasonable. When you go down a band size, you need to go up a cup size just to maintain the same volume. So a 38F has the same tit-containment capacity as a 34G. You might even need more than a 34GG

If you can answer the questions about shape in the linked thread (thanks Griselda!) then we can suggest styles

Ah thank you so much both, I have had a super quick look at the link and think I may too have been blessed with oddly shaped boobs! Will have a proper look and answer the shape questions after I have dealt with baths and bedtime. Thank you again, I really appreciate your help and time!

Ok, I've had a proper look at the questions on the original thread and can report the following...

1. Widish gap between boobs when not wearing a bra- at least an inch.
2. Wide boobs which are fuller underneath tend to get pushed up and together into an overspill in current bras iyswim.
3. Yes to not being as full on top post children and shape of boobs has changed via pregnancies and weight gain - pre DC a 32dd fitted beautifully
4. Definite sag and would never pass the pencil test. Could probably hide the sky remote under there to be honest ??
5. Right hand boob is marginally larger than left hand boob - always has been!
6. Have been trying with the balcony push up that I used to wear pre DC. They look ok for 10 mins once put on if I sit still but as soon as I do anything remotely energetic or even lift DC into car seats, put washing on the line etc, I begin to overspill and sport the beautiful four cup look. I think that style simply doesn't suit me any more or could it be that it's all linked to the wrong size etc.

Any further comments/tips greatly appreciated!

OK:

1. You're better with a wider gap tbh, as close set boobs mean a lot of bras get ruled out just because they physically don't fit in the middle space! It will mean that you'll be less likely to get that, erm, buttcrack cleavage look though
2. You're only managing to push em together just now because the current bras are too small. I bet the gore (bit in the middle) doesn't sit flat between your boobs! Wider means you'll probably like Freya, Fantasie, Curvy Kate and some Bravissimo own brands but will generally find most Cleo bras, and some Panache, to be too narrow. You'll probably not suit the polish brands either
3. and 4) (grinning at the sky remote, I reckon I'd get the sky box!) mean that you'll probably find a lot of styles will gape at the top even if they're the right size. The worst ones for this are going to be your moulded t shirt type bras. They don't adjust to your shape at all, so what you will find is that your breasts will sink and puddle in the bottom of the cups, and then look empty at the bottom. Half cups and balconettes will generally work better for you (ones with quite a square neckline) although it doesn't sound like you are too bottom heavy so balconies will probably be fine too
4. Read the asymmetry post on the better bra campaign blog site for help managing this - a few wee tricks with positioning, and making the strap a bit shorter on your smaller side, and you'll be fine
5. I suspect they're too small in the cup so you're just falling out. But push up generally means they're quite low in the centre, and if your breasts have softened thanks to children then they'll also fall out more easily I'm afraid!

I'm thinking some of these might work for you:

Bravissimo balconettes - the Alana is a classic which I think would suit and comes in lots of colours but they do lots of others. They are not all cut the same though so don't try one and then rule all of the others out. Of those I've tried I'm thinking Marguerite, Boudoir Beau, and similar cuts might work
Bravissimo half cups like the rococo charm
Freya padded half cups like the patsy - make sure it's the half cup not the plunge
Freya balconies I think would be ok too actually
Curvy Kate does some good half cup/balconette styles like the tease me, fleurty, entice, ritzy - you'll see the shape I mean
Cleo - most cleo bras are relatively narrow but two exceptions are the Cleo Juna and the Cleo Maddie. The Maddie is also seam free so might be useful if it works for you.
Panache - lots are narrower but I tried the Envy recently and it was godawful on my narrow close set slightly top heavy norks so I think could well work for you! There will be others too, will have a think

Thank you so much for this, it is really appreciated. Am off shopping on Wednesday so will report back! Feeling a lot more positive already as have found the whole bra/boob thing so frustrating recently!!

Don't be scared to try sizes around the measurement. ALso, watch the debenhams gorgeous range as the sizing is all over the place. If you can, try to size with one of the brands above as it makes it a lot easier to then suggest other things which might work

May I jump in and ask something...?

I think I've found the first bra that fits properly, though it needs a few hours wear yet to confirm it will be really comfrtable. Unfortunately this is not a bra that works under most clothes (Curvy Kate Tease Me, the lace sticks out) - but it fits.

All seems fine - though underarm bulge reappears as soon as I lift my arms above my head and put them back down again. Is that inevitable?

Same happens in a back size or a cup size up, however this one is generally the best fit. And unlike in smaller cup bras, there is no bulge at the front of the arm.

Initially you'll probably find you need to rescoop from time to time to keep encouraging the underarm pudge to stay where you want it to, but it will generally improve. There is always a bit of a trade off though - the lower, wider cups like the tease me can be incredibly comfortable and a great shape on bottom heavy breasts but the trade off is that the outer edge of the cups is lower under the arms so doesn't contain breast tissue in that area quite as well.

Thanks! You could open a branch of Bravissimo in my house at the moment there are so many bras here for trying on. And it's amazing how many don't fit.

www.brasizecalculator.tk/version/1.html was bang on for me - I was wearing 36C, about to try a 38B as my bra was gapey, front bit between breasts wouldn't sit flat and just looked all wrong. It said I was 32DD/34D. Ordered 34D from Ultimo and it fits like a dream. Just sent for a 32DD too, just in case it's even better (they have a sale on).

You could always open a branch of Bravissimo in my house we have a definite overpopulation of bras going on here! Once you get to the right size (or thereabouts) you suddenly see all the smaller details of fit which you just couldn't in the previous ones. So wire width, projection etc all become more noticeable whereas when you're e.g. a 30H being shoved in a 36F then you don't see it.

Yes, I had 'for smart' been wearing a 34c t-shirt bra which looked perfectly presentable to the untrained eye, doesn't ride up at the back or have falling straps. (I figured 34 because I was still bigger than when I wore 32s - it's no one else's fault.) Now I can see that, although there are no bulges or gaping, the gore isn't quite flat, the wire under the arms rests on the edge of breast tissue - lightly given that it's a stretchy 34 on a 31 back - and the band stretches massively if pulled.

I like the soft stretchy bands on Curvy Kates - these feel like an easy way to get used to a 'proper' bra again after a few years of mostly crop tops or nothing. Could really do with a modern, ie non frumpy, softcup, due to having no padding whatsoever on my underbust front ribs; the Freya Deco Softcup and the Gossard Supersmooth aren't quite right for my shape, tho could be worse. Gossard have giant straps that don't adjust far enough down; they must be designed for very tall people because I don't exactly have small shoulders or a high set bust. Would like to try a Triumph Magic Wire but none available in the 32E at the mo and they don't do a 30.

Hello am back! Not quite there yet on the bra front but definitely moving in the right direction... Have now tried on a couple of Freya's and couple of curvy Kate's as suggested in 34gg and also 36g. The 34gg band is tighter than I am used (hence me trying the 36) but I think it is overall a better band fit. In terms of cups, then the 34gg is a vastly better fit than I have at present and I now see what you mean about the central gore of the bra but I am still over spilling a bit. I don't think I can go any tighter on the band but obviously need to go a bit bigger in the cups. Unfortunately my local store had very little in stock in h cup size or I would have tried some on. Am planning to pop to the next big town over the weekend and try some 34h and hh or bigger! Does that sound about right? I must admit to being a bit confused about the sister size thing which suggests that if you go up in cup size you need to go down in back size to maintain the "capacity". I don't think I can go down in back size though if I still want to breathe so presumably the hh or larger may be better as 34h will have less capacity than the 34gg (or am I misunderstanding this?). I appreciate that it is really a case of trying on different sizes and brands to find the "perfect" one. Needless to say, DH thinks the concept of me having a hh chest is hilarious as he thinks that it is model territory. Just goes to show the misconceptions I guess!

OK, sister sizing.

At a basic level, as you go down a band size you would go up a cup size to keep the same volume. So the volume of a 34H is the same as that of a 32HH, or of a 36GG. If you've found your band size in the 34 (sounds likely) you no longer need to worry about sister sizing - it's just time to find the right cup size to attach to that band. So try the 34H and HH.

Sister sizing is basically useful if you try a bra and it's close but not perfect - so if you tried a 36GG say and thought "ok, these cups are perfect but the band is too big" then sister sizing would tell you to try a 34H. That's all it's for really. It's also sometimes used by people who do bra alterations - for example if you're a 30H and you really like the Freya Deco which stops at a GG cup, then you might buy the 32GG and make the band smaller to give yourself a 30H.

Make sense?

The sister size thing is that 34gg will have the same cup volume as 36g or 32h i.e. If you change the back size but want the same cup volume then you need to change the cup size too

in your case it sounds like the band is ok but you need a bigger cup size so try the 34H/hh to see if they fit better in the cup

Ahh yes of course, makes perfect sense now! This has been so enlightening, can't believe I have been getting it so wrong - I suspect I haven't worn a properly fitting bra since before DC... Will try the 34h and hh this weekend and keep you posted! Fingers crossed, I'm nearly there. Thank you so much for your help!