Help! Kids, work and time have caught up with me so now I need a guide to anti-aging for those previously in denial.

[CustardLover]

I was shocked today to discover I had wandered into a cliche - I caught sight of myself in mirror and thought it was my mother. And not my mother when she was young and hot - my mother now; 25 years my senior.

I am in my mid 30s, have two DC under 5, a senior job that's very exciting but demanding - 50+ hours per week with lots of travel and entertaining. I used to have time to spend on proper ladyfication. I used to care about ladyfication. I used to own a nail file that wasn't a grubby, torn emery board at the bottom of a handbag full of toy trains and raisins, but those days are past.

I look OLD.

My eyes are that seductive triptych of baggy AND sunken AND wrinkly. The only bloom you could honestly say my skin has is the sort more frequently associated with a fine, aged cheese. Given my children are angelic, luminous cherubs (as, of course, they all are), family photos are a cruel juxtaposition. And now I have no idea what to do. I don't mind spending some cash on products if you think they genuinely work, but time I don't have (so advice re sleep etc - brilliant idea and I one day hope to reacquaint myself with that old friend... but it won't be this year).

So please, gurus, tell me what to do, what to buy, what to spread on myself; what would you include in the beginners guide to anti-aging?

I'm a big fan of Sali Hughes and Caroline Hirons. I think both would suggest you spend money on a decent serum (I like Estée Lauder advanced night) and cleanser (because cleansed skin will make the products work better), but can go more budget on other stuff. A good luminising primer is a fab cheat to looking glow-y - I love the Dior glow one - and I'm a big believer in the restorative power of a pinky blush and red lipstick over "done" eyes and nude lips.

On an unrelated note, I bet you actually look great - we are always our own worst critics! :-)

www.carolinehirons.com/2015/02/cheat-sheetfaqs-where-should-i-spend.html

This blog post is a useful guide, I think.

I'm heading over to the SpaceNK website now; thank you!

I'm heading over to the SpaceNK website now; thank you!

If anyone else has any personal recommendations I will also be v grateful - research is cool but there's nothing like real-life 'I used to look like Queen Victoria (The Mourning Years) but now I'm a Taylor Swift lookalike.' Story.

Haha! I can't help you there but one thing I've realised I need to get on is handcream with an spf. The highest factor I can find that doesn't cost the earth is a neutrogena anti-ageing one, £3.95. Don't want no brown spots on these jazz hands.

I'm 43 and currently reaping the benefits of a hot cloth/double cleansing routine and can see improvements after only a few weeks. In the evening, I start by massaging in a cream/balm cleanser (I use the Superdrug Naturally Radiant one but will be upgrading to the Emma Hardie balm when I'm a bit more flush) and then use a flannel run under the warm tap to wipe off all traces of make up. I then cleanse again use a milk or gel based cleanser (I'm using a REN one and also have a Neal's Yard one) and then wipe off with the rinsed out flannel. Pat face dry and then either go straight to serum (again, I use Superdrug but Clarins are good) or use a liquid exfoliant twice a week (I'm using the Clarins one which I put onto a cotton wool pad and wipe around my face). Then it's face oil (I'm using Clarins Blue Orchid which smells divine) and then night cream (I'm using the REN frankincence one). My skin is brighter and less lined, plus make-up goes on so much better. All of this takes about 5 - 6 mins by the way! Once you get into the routine, it becomes second nature.

I've been in denial - am 47 - as I had no wrinkles at all, and remarkably good skin. Then it turned out that the oh-so-dewy baby complexion is a thing associated with hereditary Parkinson's Disease, which my mum has got. Lovely. Anyway, the rest of me was shit. I decided to Take Action. Idly.

So cheer up about your wrinkles, I say. This is what I've done to smack back the years: nothing takes more than 5 minutes as I am afflicted with entrenched sloth as well as vanity.

DO THIS

• Eyebrows dyed (1 min, painless, get kit) and shaped (3 min, agony, local shop).
• Highlights or, more to the point, full head dye. (90 min but lasts 4 months)
• Body moisturiser every day (30 secs, use spray)
• Neutral nail varnish (2 min)
• Floral scent every day (10 secs - people perceive you as younger, believe it or not, but only if your perfume is floral or fruity)
• Face mask and deep hair condition while watching telly pre-bath (2 min)
• Stretch daily and get a grip on pelvic floor (sneak this in at work.)

DON'T DO THIS

• wear foundation. Use BB/primer instead, doesn't climb into the cracks and sit there squawking Old Crone
• wear black mascara. Brown only, casts fewer dark shadows round the eyes.
• wear an old bra. Get measured on this board for a new size.
• bust a gut joining a gym when you can run free and do weights while watching telly.
• shop at M&S except for delicious & cheering food bits.

All I can say is, no one believes I am mid-40s even tho I privately am convinced I am 149.

I'm in the same position as you and I've asked my husband for botox for my birthday, just a light touch so my forehead and eyes look a bit better. Also teeth whitening seems to work wonders and helps you drop a few years.

Good eyebrows help lift the eye, threading brilliant. Bobbi Brown make up - no heavy foundation and some skin care (vitamin enriched face base), Eve Lom cleanser. Try and fit in facial - Bliss Spa do a fab lunch time version - but only good if your close by. Shellac manicure, L'Occitane shea butter hand cream is amazing, great hair cut helps.

Thank you all! I'm starting the day with new determination, and the sunshine helps too. I keep hearing brilliant things about Eve Lom's hot cloth business so definitely going for that and heading to the SpaceNK nearby for more bank balance hammering this lunchtime.

Botox, crumbs; maybe I should. I am v intrigued - do people like it? Is it like an addiction: can you stop once you've started?

Just to say, I don't think you need to spend megabucks on hot cloth cleanser and if you're looking to spend today, M&S are doing 20% off online and they do the wonderful Emma Hardie moringa cleansing balm which everyone and their dog raves about. I ordered the set with three pots as it works out at 150ml as opposed to the 100ml which is the same price. Also REN do a good hot cloth cleanser which M&S also stock.

If you are going to Space NK, it's worth checking out the Sarah Chapman overnight facial which is amazing stuff. They also stock Laura Mercier make-up which is very good. I swear by the lipstick called Rose and am on my third one now.