Feeling terrible about my appearance

[Notcontent]

That's just it really. I am in my early 40s and feel completely invisible and a bit like I am twice my age.

Maybe it's a mid life crisis. I am very petite so definitely don't need to lose weight. My main issue is that post 40 i can see clear signs of aging and also have very small boobs and thinning hair so just don't feel like a woman!

I love clothes but recently had negative thoughts about that - basically thinking that people might think I shouldn't wear fashionable dresses, etc as I am too old!

What can I do? Usual advice about losing weight and make over are not relevant. Did actually consider boob job but too scared of things going wrong! Exercise? Counselling?

I am single (lone parent) so don't have a partner to tell me that I look gorgeous anyway...

I feel the same some days and I'm 50 so I decided when I got up this morning to dedicate the day as a me day. Once I get out of my jammies (I've been doing housework and decluttering) I intend to wash and deep condition my hair, epilate and do a home manicure and pedicure.

I've decluttered my wardrobe this morning of all the raggedy things and cleared out my makeup bag, tossed skincare stuff I don't love, cleaned out and changed my handbag and washed all the towels. It's Spring! Time to take action and DO stuff to make you feel better rather than sit there like I did feeling bleugh.

When I get up tomorrow my skincare, makeup, clothes and handbag will all be clean and shiny and ready for Spring. Go on, join me, you'll feel so much better if you do something positive :)

Can you tell it's a windy day where I am? I'm full of bounce

Thanks picastyle!

You're right, and I am doing a face mask right now before jumping in the shower and going for a walk. It would just be nice to have that certain something again....

I would love love love small boobs, so YABU!
How about saving up and going to one of the Top Shops that offers a personal shopper. It's free, no obligation to buy and they will choose what is suitable within the parameters you set.

I think having the right hair can make such a difference about the way you feel about yourself. Thinning, fine hair is not fun to have. Perhaps go for a style you have always wanted, or a colour? If you are petite with small boobs, there are so many styles you can pull off. I have reasonable sized boos (32F) and wish I could wear high necked blouses or roll neck tops, but they just look ridiculous! What do you like to wear?

briefly (but not rudely) - more in your life and counselling maybe to see where you are going.

you will see signs of ageing because you are getting older. You know how awful the botox/facelift look is, natural ageing looks so much better.

sounds like you look after your body; keep it moving, keep it healthy, be thankful it works and look out and forward.

and wear what you like!

The alternative to getting older is.....

....and you don't want that so!!

You already have that certain something, it's you! Make the best of what you have and look forwards not back :)

I agree about having more to do in one's life too, I get bored easily and am prone to navel gazing if I don't find something to occupy my thoughts.

on the subject of realistic ageing (any chance for a spot of Star Trek...) have a look here at an 82 year old. (80 in the lower photo)

www.treknews.net/2014/12/28/happy-birthday-nichelle-nichols/

admittedly she was dealt a good genetic hand, but she is about twice your age and I don't see too much to worry about!

Thanks ladies. I think some of you are spot on - a lot of it is to do with spending too much time dwelling on negative things in my life and looking back to times when I was younger and had a very different life and I guess felt happier - although some of it is probably a case of rose tinted glasses/selective memory...

Anyway, I have vowed to look forward and not back!!

Ironically, I actually have some really great clothes - much nicer than when I was in my 20s - so maybe it's more of a mental make-over that I need.