I look a fright

[frightful1]

Help, please!
I'm 5'4 and about 9 stone, so I'm not a horrible shape, though I've had two babies (younger is under 1 still) and so my belly's not lovely. I also have thunder thighs and short legs.
DH took some pics of me today (well, really pics of the children with me on) and I just look horrible, fat and frumpy and grey. I'm in my late thirties and I look as though I've given up.
Not got loads of cash, and not a fashion person (SAHM so most of my clothing just needs to be practical, very washable, and easy to get a boob out in).
Where can I shop to make myself look a bit less horrible, and any ideas about the kinds of styles that might improve me? I feel so down on myself, I mean I'm doing a good job mothering (I like to think) but none of my clothes seem to fit me properly, let alone to flatter me. Realistically it's v hard to get into shops and try things on: I'm not averse to mail order to try things out a bit, but cash flow won't let me go wild on this, and where I live is a pain to post from - so I'm asking for advice to try and limit my mistakes. If I could just have a couple of outfits that I felt confident in, or a couple of styles that I knew worked, it would cheer me up no end.
Thank you (and please be kind...)

Go to the shops on your own is best. dH can look after the kuds for a few hours.

Just try lots of stuff on.

Also go swimming every saturday or sunday, just 30 mins is fine, to have a bit if "me" time so you can start to feel like a real person again!

I find skinnies/leggings with ankle boots, and longer top (layers) work wel for my sahm existence.

Hi frightful1 I complete understand what you mean.
I'm in a similar position , ie changing body shape, transition from career to mum etc, but hey good news is we can do something about it. :)

Let me try and help you - if you gave me a little more info about you I could possible help with some suggestions.

What size tops and bottoms do wear, are you busty or not (this helps with blouse suggestions), you mentioned short thighs ( so need to look at options that create a long silhouette ). Let me also know budgets so can make suggestions in that range

Do you want dress suggestions or just some tops and bottoms?

Oh, thank you both. Swimming's a good idea, I loved it when I was PG, though at the moment the baby hates being apart from me so it might need to wait until he can cope a bit longer.
mummop, let me see (and I hope you won't regret asking), I usually wear a S or a 10 on top (was probably 8 pre-pregnancy but my boobs are a bit more substantial these days). On the bottom it seems to vary wildly - I buy a 10 by default but these are often too big. My best-ever skirt, boring denim from White Stuff, as an 8 and has a fair bit of spare space around the waist.
Tops and bottoms prob best for me just because of the breastfeeding thing, though having said that I'm shameless about pulling down so dresses that aren't too high at the neck could work. Budget is probably embarrassingly small, I'd say no more than 30-40 for a garment, unless it was completely amazing in both quality and flexibility so that I could wear it to death (as I have with this denim skirt (because at least it kind of fits and doesn't leave me with a muffin top and I can sling on any old top with it).
Are there any trousers that look good on chunky thighs? I've tried a few kinds that are loose but they look terrible because it's so clear what they're hiding, then of course tight ones look like sausage skins. I know "get smaller thighs" is a good answer, but not immediately in my reach...

My tips---

a nice colour on your hair -I look revived when my grey is gone

Wash your face with a flannel every day to get rid of the grey look and make it glow

Make an effort- 'do' your hair, pluck your brows, or whatever small thing lifts your spirits

Always wear mascara (and maybe a bit of blusher for that healthy look)

Walk walk and walk - since I got a dog I walk every day for an hour and even when the weather is pants it makes my mind feel lively

Add a scarf to your outfit to lift your colour. I love wearing grey but sometimes I look like I'm half dead - it's amazing how people comment when some colour is added

And I agree with earlier post leggings and a long tunic/jumper dress with boots is mostly flattering

Have fun!

Hmmm - oxoxo, you've got a fair point there, and I would love some time to myself. But I can't see a way to manage that much at the moment, and I was hoping that if I could just fix my wardrobe a bit it might give me a lift that would let me improve some other things too, iykwim? I know I'm not "fat", but I do look lumpy, and at my height dumpiness comes easily.

Chippychop - great tips, thank you. Scarf shopping sounds nice and affordable and might distract attention from my unpleasant middle area.