Help me, stylish people, help me, I beg you.

[treaclesoda]

I need a wardrobe re-think. I'm interested in fashion, I like it. But I'm an awkward shape. And an awkward age .

I'm 39. I am not particularly slim, but not particularly fat either. I am a size 12 on the bottom and a 14 on the top due to large norks. I'm an apple shape, my stomach area is a horror (general apple-ness and two large babies by cs have combined to make that the case!) but I have very slim legs.

I asked my husband today to give me his honest opinion, have I become frumpy? And bless him, he is not one for putting me down or criticising but he did mutter awkwardly and then admit that perhaps an element of frump had entered my world.

What do I do? I am in a uniform of skinny or boyfriend jeans, t-shirt type top, cardigan and a scarf. That's on a good day. Sometimes it is skinny jeans and a jumper and I just look in the mirror and it's so dull.

I don't have a huge budget, but I could afford to spend £50 each on a few decent things if necessary.

Where do I start?

Your daily outfit doesn't sound frumpy per se! But it really does depend - scarf to me can mean many things - there are many ways to wear a scarf! What are the tshirts like that you wear - do they have little buttons down the front? Are they ribbed or scoop neck?

Usually a plain scoop neck T shirt. I find it hard to find the perfect neckline. Too high and it's matronly, too low and everyone gets an eyeful!

Have a look at Poppy's Style blog (Google it, can't link on phone). She is a similar shape to you, apple with fab legs. You'll be able to see lots of different looks, I think she gets it right about 90% of the time.

Thanks for the blog suggestion. I do browse a few blogs but all the ones I've found seem to be ladies who are a different body shape to me. A blog by someone my shape is exactly what I need.

You need some funk! Get some of those skate trainers. They're easy to wear. Get hip earrings, they are an easy, inexpensive way of getting up to date. Get confident with make up colours and try to use coral lipstick. Roll up the bottom of your jeans.

Hair?

I've got skate trainers! Maybe I'm not as dowdy as I feared...

Never wear earrings though. My ears are pierced but I don't know what's nice in the world of accessories.

Hair is ok actually. Have a huge thick head of wavy hair. If I can be bothered blow drying it looks nice and bouncy.

Makeup tends to be foundation, blusher, mascara.

I am 41, a size 12-14 and live in skinny jeans and I think I look pretty great

I'm not an apple but I think the right bra is really crucial for big boobed apples. Have you had the MN bra intervention? (Cliche emoticon)

Get a Pinterest board of all the clothes and styles you like and start to get a sense of your personal style.

Grooming and posture is more important than clothes when it comes to defrumping IMO. Eyebrows, hair, nails - spend your money there first.

My example of skinny jeans and scarf probably wasn't a great example, I feel not bad on those days. It's all the other days where I look worse

I am a bra fanatic, have never worn bigger than a 32 band in my life. I spend serious money on bras to make sure that the boobs are where they should be

Maybe I just need a wee bit more confidence, and to be a bit more polished...

It sounds as though you need an accessories intervention. Earrings, bracelets, hair things.

I checked out that Poppys style blog. The most recent entries I looked at and I'll be honest I thought 'oooh, no, no no, I don't like that' but then as I flicked back to older posts I did see some outfits that I thought were nicer and more flattering. So thanks for the suggestion, I do appreciate it.

If anyone else knows of any other 40ish, not terribly bit, but apple shaped ladies, who are blogging and look stylish, please point me in the right direction.

what sort of accessories should I consider? Would I be better with a few quality bits of jewellery or loads of colourful cheap accessories? And where is a good place to look?

I am an autumn so don't really suit silver, which I find a bit limiting, because it is easy to find cheap accessories that look good in silver tones, but cheap stuff in gold tones often just looks nasty.

I think quality over quantity every time. I'm not an accessories fan at all - it can go horribly Gok Wan and if you're busy you don't have time to co-ordinate your handbag charm with your toenail ring every morning.

One piece of jewellery max plus wedding ring, a bag plus maybe a belt or scarf if needed. All as high quality as possible

Oh well, just to put another side, I am a big fan of the youthful accessories thing. That is, choosing stuff from topshop and Claire's accessories for fun. lily Allen gold chains, heaps of friendship bracelets, nail polish in up to date shades.

Being older and having a bit more cash means that this stuff can really supplement a look, while not commiting you. if it's frumpiness you want to lose then 'lightening up' is quite good - not too much emphasis on controlled style, try to get rid of neutrals (beige is ageing, as are blue and white stripes).

I'm a size 12 hourglass - good legs and a bit of a tummy. I must admit that my casual 'uniform' tends to be skinnies, a jumper and a scarf or a tube mini skirt, opaques, a jumper and a scarf. Both allow me to show off good legs, whilst covering up everything else!

Tbh at this time of year I'd be spending my money on a decent Spring coat and more scarves!

I know that Poppy sometimes comes on here, and I think she seems absolutely lovely, but I must admit that I think she gets it wrong far more than she gets it right.

Well I'm a size 12 norky Autumn Apple so I would also be very interested in blogs by women of a similar shape/colouring!

I tend to go for v necks as anything too high is unflattering. I look for tops that come to the bottom of my hips as hitting my waist is, again, not a good look.

I also love my scarves and tend to use them for a splash of colour/pattern. Most patterns, especially florals and stripes tend to add instant frump. Not sure why, they just don't work for me.

I'm also living in skinny jeans - my favourites at the moment are my New Look high waisted ones - but I'm tempted by these kick flares that I'm seeing around. Might be a flattering shape for those of us that are a bit fuller up top?

Anyway, I'm waffling, but will be watching with interest!

Have a look at AllWornOut blog as well - Eve is a very stylish apple with a cracking pair of pins.