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Original poster

Tattoo ... is this a terrible idea?

79 replies

Sickofpeppapig00 · 21/01/2015 00:28

Just got my decree absolute so finally divorced and would like to mark the occasion somehow. I have been waiting for this moment for a very long time (I was the one who left my abusive marriage, haven't regretted it for a second); the last few years have been horrid yet I have overcome a lot all on my own, and I'm proud of that. I'm often told I am fearless by friends/relatives so, I'm seriously considering having a tattoo made that says exactly that, 'fearless'. It would be fairly small, handwritting style, likely in my inner wrist.

Now, I'm a 40 year old mother of three fairly young DC. I like to think I'm 'cool' (hate that word btw!) enough to carry it off, but still ... am I too old to be even thinking of having it done? I do have quite a senior office job too so I would likely need to have it covered for important meetings etc... too much hassle? I would like to have it done somewhere I can see it all the time so somewhere more discreet would kind of defeat the purpose of it.

Should I go for it?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 21/01/2015 07:31

If you are unsure, I think the answer is don't do it.

lottiesatitagain · 21/01/2015 07:32

Congrats but a big no to a tattoo - tacky.

ContentedSidewinder · 21/01/2015 07:36

This attitude to tattoos always makes me laugh, because women are still buying Uggs and yet they are everywhere but a tattoo is somehow viewed differently.

We regret the things we don't do rather than the things we do. I would say, get a fine sharpie, write it on your wrist (or get someone else to) and see how you feel about it. There are videos on YouTube on how to give yourself a temporary tattoo like this.

My lovely Mum was dead against any tattoo, hated them, her exact words were imagine how it looks when you are 70. I did have a tattoo and she didn't see it for many years. My body was amazing, I was 21 and quite frankly even now at 40 I love it.

I hate the phrase tramp stamp. Angry I wonder if there are any labels put on men who are inked? Or do we just judge a women by a mark on her body?

SoupDragon · 21/01/2015 07:37

You can take a pair of Uggs off.

HellKitty · 21/01/2015 07:38

I hate all this tacky, cheap and common shit flung about. Of course I'd say that, I have too many tattoos to count. My first visible one was the day I changed my name back to my maiden name and it's my surname initial on my incredibly tacky and trampy wrist. Warning, for some people it's ok but for me (and DP who is covered but also has one there) it was agony. Worst place for pain.

It made me smile when I'd look at it and it kept me going through an awful divorce from a complete arsehole - who would have been as judgey pants as some here.

Fairylea · 21/01/2015 07:43

Myself and dh are very tattooed (dh only has neck face and hands free) and I read this thinking you were going to get some sort of huge arty peacock down the side of your body or a massive tiger roaring on your back... and then I read it was a word on your wrist and to be honest I was a bit Hmm .

I absolutely love and adore tattoos. They are my major passion in life but words on wrists will age you. They are very much of the now. And I think you'd be better going on instagram and looking at lots of super talented tattoo artists and getting some inspiration for something more unique.

But that's just my own opinion.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 21/01/2015 08:01

Tattoos and Uggs, no comparison at all, as Soupdragon says, you can take Uggs off, and most people wear them for practical rather than aesthetic reasons (I have neither tattoos or Uggs). Both are ugly in some people's eyes, doesn't make it wrong to have them though.

mrsduff · 21/01/2015 08:01

agree with fairylea when i first had my tattoo done i just had some words written on my rib. so if i hated it no-one would see it and it was tiny etc etc. but it didn't look great.

so i went back a few months later and got a proper design which incorporates the writing and now it looks more like art than a random piece of writing.

now i'm planning my next tattoo. i think not having a tattoo is a bit.. tacky :)

dreamcometrue · 21/01/2015 08:02

It is horrible the words that are used to describe a whole person just because of their tattoo. I have two that can be easily covered. It makes me a bit sad that people would see me as one kind of person until they found out I'd got them.
Op you sound like you've given yourself a good while to think about it, it means a huge amount to you, it shouldn't matter what other people think (Although even when you have it some people will still make comments) you should do whatever you want.

Lweji · 21/01/2015 08:02

I hate all this tacky, cheap and common shit flung about. Of course I'd say that, I have too many tattoos to count.

I don't have any tattoos, don't plan on having any, got a very difficult divorce, advised you to wait and be sure you really want the tattoo AND I also hate this tacky, cheap and tramp shit thrown about. It says more about those making such judgements than the op or anyone with tattoos.

flipchart · 21/01/2015 08:07

I'mnot fussed about tattoos one way or another but in your case I would say no, not now. This is because you have come on the Internet to ask a load of strangers whether you should or not.
Also you have the sentence where you describe your self as 'cool enough' to carry it off. What about when you aren't 'cool' anymore?

Fairylea · 21/01/2015 08:24

Op not sure where you are based but just for reference I'd look at these on instagram - immortal ink in Chelmsford (especially Freddie Albrighton, his birds in particular are amazing), mike stockings at legacy ink in Haverhill, "horrorgirl" aka abbie williams, Anthony Flemming, and Annie Frenzel. Those are some of my favourite artists (I have lots and lots more!)

bleedingheart · 21/01/2015 08:24

I would consider whether you want to be reminded when you come down from the high of the divorce and when people keep asking what it refers to. To me, it's almost like giving the Ex more power by making a permanent mark on yourself with the main reference relating to him.

Anything that becomes very popular very quickly runs the risk of being seen as tacky, which is not the same as saying the person who has it is tacky.

I dislike the 'trampy' comment though, particularly as there is no equivalent for men.

TheCowThatLaughs · 21/01/2015 08:25

I don't like tattoos on men either.and I hate tramp stamp etc, and no there isn't an equivalent for men.

AmantesSuntAmentes · 21/01/2015 08:25

It's funny how every time my sleeve is visible, people (strangers) exclaim over it, complement, show interest and appreciation. Interestingly, the usual age range of compliments is from the middle aged to elderly! Not one person has dared call me cheap and tacky, in RL, to my face. I haven't even encountered a single 'ugh!' expression of derision.

Judgey people have negative thoughts about people all the time (and particularly about ink, it seems!) but the same people don't actually exist in the real world of people with ink and if they do? They're a silent minority Smile

Northumberlandlass · 21/01/2015 08:31

I got a tattoo for my 40th - present to myself - it's a large dandelion on my shoulder with the seeds going upwards...not sure I'm describing it well at all!!
I love it and it marks a time in my life.

I have just separated from my H in the NY and will be getting another - not to mark the occasion as such..I am thinking of a phoenix design for my hip / top of thigh.

Tattoo's are such a personal choice & whenever the discussion comes up on here it usually turns into a bun fight. You do what you want Smile after all, you have fought for this freedom x

bleedingheart · 21/01/2015 08:32

People often like individual tattoos even when they think they don't like tattoos! Also it would be pretty rude to criticize someone's tattoo to their face when they can do naff all about changing it, wouldn't it?!

TheCowThatLaughs · 21/01/2015 08:36

I saw a man with "only God will judge me" tatooed across his back. Not true, I thought.

MrsLettuce · 21/01/2015 08:50

Another lover of (good) tattoos here - can't stand the 'what about when you're old' shite either. Good tattoos age well.

But, yeah, I'd say a big fat NO to literally labeling ones self with an art-free text tattoo. By all means get something cool and fearless!

TheTravellingLemon · 21/01/2015 08:52

Forgive me if this has moved on, I haven't RTFT.

I say do it! Why the hell not? I don't have any tattoos but I understand your desire to mark the occasion.

Take a look at these, if I was ever tempted I think some of these are just beautiful

tattoo inspiration

Fairylea · 21/01/2015 08:55

The ageing thing is such a load of crap. Everyone is going to be old and wrinkly at some point. Having a tattoo that may or may not become wrinkled won't make you look any older or more aged than you are. Quite frankly if I get to be that old I will be more concerned whether I can make it to the toilet on my own rather than what my skin looks like.....!

MrsLettuce · 21/01/2015 08:57

Oh, wrong 'young' photo - here

zzzzz · 21/01/2015 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SqueezyCheeseWeasel · 21/01/2015 09:00

Naff as fuck.

Avoid. Avoid. Avoid.

You've done a great thing escaping from a shitbag but the tattoo will look tacky.

NeedABumChange · 21/01/2015 09:09

It sounds like a very nasty and cheap looking tattoo, sorry OP.

These words in swirly script are the equivalent of a 90s Chinese symbol or the upper arm barbed wire tatts.

But I'd say no one is too odd for a tattoo, maybe rethink the location too? That's a very visible place. My mum got her first tattoo at 55- on her bum!

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