Think I look ok then I see a photo ...

[Applebear]

This is a bit of wallowing in self pity but also an amount of genuine confusion about how this happens. Does anyone else feel the same way? I get ready for whatever occasion and think I look good in the mirror. Then when I see a picture, my lipstick looks too bright like a clown, my hair looks rubbish and flat and frumpy, my face invariably looks fat and a bit jowly and I look at least a dress size bigger than I thought. I'm starting to worry about this and lose any confidence when I look in the mirror, as I think I look ok or even pretty good but I'm now not believing the mirror anymore and am genuinely confused about whether I look ok or awful. I know this is a strange thread but this is affecting my self confidence, silly I know.

Wow I didn't expect so many replies, seems I'm not on my own then. I can't view that vid at the mo but I will later. Thanks everyone. I'll try to trust the mirror more then, I think that's what I should take from this.

When I did online dating I was told I look better in the flesh than in photos. Thank god for that. I look awful in photos and on face time or in a video I look even worse.

I look shocking in photos;always have done. Even DM says so ( thanks, mum).

I'm usually making some weird grimace, have jowls and several chins, and flat, lank hair.

I have a mate who's the opposite - fairly nondescript in the flesh but in every photograph she looks like a supermodel.

liveinalight......you can't be the most unphotogenic person on the planet, because I am!

Honestly, I do not take a good photo. A few months ago a photographer had to take my pic for a work badge & after she'd taken the first shot she looked at it on a screen & sighed & said 'uh god, that's awful!'

I'm under no illusion that I look great, I know I've a really wide full fat face, but when I see a photo of myself, it's crushing, justs brings it home to me just how wide & full my face is.

A female family member on the other hand, is absolutely stunning on photos, she's picture perfect, make up perfect, everything & she's like that in RL too. I often wonder what it would be like to have that confidence, to have that self esteem, must be great.

BIG TIME. And how do people manage to look good in selfies? I look like a haggard transvestite if ny phone camera accidentally turns the other way.

I'm with you op, it sucks. I think I have some sort of body dysmorphia (sp?!) as think I look ok in a mirror. Also, I pick up clothes in shops and try to judge by eye if they'd fit (H&M weirdy sizes, I'm glaring at you) and am convinced they're the right size. They're always about three sizes too small!

I just live by the mantra "my body works, therefore I am lucky".

I took about 200 photos to get ONE for LinkedIn. Thank goodness for the selfie thing on my phone.

On a slightly different tack, without being vain, I was quite striking until my mid-50s, maybe a bit later, and took a good photo, but something's happened since I hit 60 and I look like shit, tired and saggy, and have deleted some photos, something I never did in the past.

I know it seems so silly, being so bothered, such vanity, especially since I've never asked anyone else's opinion about how I look. :o

Most women are bothered by how they look, echt. We're trained thus by society...

Photos are a frozen image of you. Most people look much better when you see them IRL when they are moving.. much less opportunity to isolate the body and scrutinise it from one angle for a long time.

The people I know that often/always look good in photos have what I call a well practised "photo face".

First - wear good make-up, always. Including blush or bronzer or highlighter or whatever to create cheekbones. Mascara if you're pale. Etc etc.

Then when a camera comes near, you immediately pull photo face. Chin down/up (depending on what works for you), head turned slightly. Side on to camera. Avoid full body shots unless you are tres skinny because you will always look larger than you are in photos. Fact. Or wear black. Everywhere.

Seriously though, I quite often see pics of people who in real life looked quite amazing but in particular shots look overweight/plain/awful. You can increase the number of photos you look good in by doing what the earlier poster said and taking lots of digital shots of yourself and working out which ones are best and why!

My body always looks fine in photos - it's from the neck up that looks awful. I don't have a "photo face"; in fact, I look even worse if I try to pose.