The great wedding dress dilemma! Opinions please on this wedding dress...... not long to go and getting desperate

[Thegreatweddingdressdilemma]

Getting married early next year (winter wedding)
By way of background I am early 30s, tall, size 8.

I have been to a few 'proper' bridal shops and seen some amazing dresses, but there has not been any one in particular that I have fallen in love with and have to have (although lots that I have really liked). I do not feel like I have found 'the one'. The cheapest dress that I am considering from a 'proper' bridal shop is £1500 (including alterations). I can afford this without getting into debt but I am aware that it is a lot of money and I can think of lots of other things to spend it on (honeymoon, a fund for if / when I find myself on maternity leave etc).

I have also tried on this dress in Ghost which as you can see is reduced to just £75
www.ghost.co.uk/taya-dress-ivory-dp30ca-m10

Here is a real life wedding featuring the dress (and I personally think it looks better here than on the Ghost website)
www.fitzgeraldphotographic.co.uk/2013/12/bell-in-ticehurst-wedding-ali-john/

And here it is being worn by bridesmaids (although in a different colour) www.ablognamedscout.com/lisa-and-david-in-cork-ireland/

Ok so the Ghost dress is not quite as nice as the 'proper' dresses, and if money was no object I would go for the £1500 dress.... but the Ghost dress is £1425 cheaper and still a lovely dress, which after all I will only be wearing for a few hours.

We are also only having a very small, informal wedding so spending ££££ on a dress feels out of proportion somehow to the rest of the wedding.

My Mum thinks I will regret the Ghost dress. Would value any opinions on it. Many thanks.

In the second episode of the Liberty series on C4, a girl bought a vintage dress for her wedding from the 30's, not dissimilar to the ghost one. She wore a really beautiful hairband/tiara and the whole outfit was stunning.

See if it's on 4OD, second episode, in the first half of the programme and then later on she comes back in with photos of the wedding

I love the style of the Coast one but agree it looks quite crumpled in the rl pics. Have you tried motasem? Simple understated dresses but really well made, eg www.motasem.co.uk/dresses/lina_evelyn.html

I like it!

It's a nice dress but it looks so crumpled in the pictures.

Have you looked at ex sample wedding dresses? My dress was £650 (including alterations) reduced from around £2000.

Definitely keep the Ghost dress. You can always keep looking for the dress of your dreams, worst case scenario you'll be able to re-sell it on eBay for at least 50 quid, and in the meantime put it on with proper hair and makeup and shoes, and get a photo taken (not professional, but carefully taken with a decent camera in daylight in a garden) to give you (and your mum) a real sense of how you look in it.

The one thing you should definitely not do is spend ONE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS!! on the bridal shop dress that you're a bit "meh" about.

Thanks all
Agree it looks a bit crumpled in some pictures, although I am getting married in the same place I am staying at so would not have to go in a car would literally put my dress on upstairs in my room and walk downstairs to get married so would not really sit down on it before the pictures.

Ummm...is it ok to say that I want to get married again just to wear the ghost dress?! It's gorgeous!

I spent about £150 on my wedding dress,bought it from a website and altered it myself. My mum had just died from breast cancer and I couldn't face going to a wedding dress shop because it would have been so obvious my mum wasn't there. I didn't want to spend much money either, even though my fiance was like "get what you want, I have money".

Nearly 3 years later I obsessively watch programmes like "Say Yes to the Dress" and "Randy's Wedding Rescue". It's not that I regret not getting a proper dress, there is no way I could have done it. But I am now thinking "How long is it til we can do a vow renewal and I can get a wedding-ish type dress for that?". So I would be wary of getting anything that you don't absolutely adore and wearing it on your wedding day.

I do agree that if you don't find something you adore, it's better to pay £75 for something that will do that £1,500. If you find something you adore, it doesn't matter f it's £50 or the max you can afford. I think if youre asking "Will this be ok?" it's not something you adore.

When I did my alterations on my dress though, I was really nervous about making the first cut. So I went and got a £90 dress from Monsoon as a back up dress in case my alterations went wrong. Then I was able to start snipping.

So get this dress as it is £75, but keep looking for the perfect one. As it is winter, there are lots of sample sales in the wedding dress shops just now (well, there are in ones round here anyway), so as you are slim, you could well get something that fits or can be taken in to fit quite easily, at a lot off. If you find the one, Ghost dresses can usually be dyed, so you could have a great evening dress for another occasion or you could wear it after the ceremony as a reception dress (one which it doesn't matter if some teenager spills an aftershock on it on the dancefloor, as happened to my friend). And if you don;t find the one, you've got a dress you like and you've only spent £75.

*took the monsoon one back for refund once the alterations were finished a week later!

I think it's really important to wear a dress you love on your wedding day, even if it costs more than you want to spend. You will always remember how special you felt. The ghost one for you will be a compromise.

It's gorgeous. What a bargain! I would spend a few hundred on some shoes you love and will wear again, and perhaps some really nice bespoke jewellry you can wear again as well.

I am still wearing the shoes I bought for my wedding, and every time I do I have a happy smile.... My dress was only worn once and has been in a box ever since. I know what was the better buy!

I was really worried about spending too much on wedding dress. I actually compromised and got a £1000 one but the one i really loved was £1500. Looking back now i wish i had splashed out on the £1500 one. It really is the most imporyant part of the day. And i day that as someone eho usually spenfs very little on myself. But this is the one time to treat yourself. Its not just for one day its for a lifetime of photos to look back on. Get the £75 if you love it. But dont just try and convince yourself you love it. Try to make the choice without thinking too much about the price.

Hope you have a lovely day
Xx

I'm just going to say that I often wish I could get married again when I go past wedding dresses in shop windows, as so many are beautiful.

Don't get dress remorse - yes it looks fine to me and it is cheap, but if you are a tall size 8 you will look stunning in so many dresses and this is your only chance. I think you should do as PPs suggested - just start again and consider sales. No excuse as they are coming up! You can get amazing deals at fancy London department stores.

Best wishes for your day!

Why not get two dresses, the ghost one for the ceremony and a killer cocktail dress for the evening?

The ghost one is lovely, buy honestly, thousands on one dress for one day seems a bit daft to me, unless you've got money to burn (and I'm not slagging off those people who do, at the end of the day it horses for courses!)

Have a lovely day, whatever you wear!

It is lovely, very weddingy, v appropriate.

I wore a high street dress (short!) but still looked v bridal.

Key is

• hair that makes you feel great. I got a hair lady in but did my own makeup
• beautiful flowers
• possible headgear
• even more informal or VERY different coloured bridesmaid dresses

A good photographer will hide a multitude of sins/creases.

The Ghost dress looks lovely.

Don't be fooled into thinking that if something is more expensive, it must be better. It isn't always true.

I love it and would wear it if I were getting again especially if it an informal wedding. Wear with beautiful shoes, diamond headdress and a faux fur stole. Have hair up in an elegant chignon.

But you seem a bit unsure and meh about it so I would keep looking.

(My dress was around £150 - a column style satin silk dress hand made to my specifications during a time when other brides were wearing big pouffy dresses).

The dress is gorgeous and from your brief description, tall, size 8, it sounds like you would suit the style.

But, you have to love your dress. Maybe try it on with shoes, hair and makeup etc to get the overall effect? Then make a decision.

The GHOST dress is perfect - it's lovely and will look stunning.
It's very suitable for a wedding dress, in fact I can't imagine when you would wear it other than as a bride.

It's ok, but at the end of the day it's a Ghost dress, it doesn't sit or fit that well on the bride in the pics, and the material is viscose. If you're not mad about it I would continue looking as the sales are starting and you could find a bargain.

I don't think it has to be £75 or £1500. You could get a really special dress for say between £200-500.

The Ghost dress is crazy beautiful...it'll look amazing. Get it!

Thanks for all the comments, including the not so good ones, it is great to get both opinions.
I guess I just need to decide how important the wedding dress is to me. I just feel so ambivalent about the whole dress thing (although I can't wait to marry DP - I am definitely not ambivalent about that )

Then for goodness sake wear the Ghost dress ! Why on earth pay so much for an expensive dress if it does not matter that much to you?
Good for you if your priority is marrying your dream man . That is what a wedding should be about !