Ditching the 'crazy dress' look and toning down?

[OinkOinkOink]

I'm fed up of my wardrobe - packed full of slightly crazy dresses with bold colourful patterns (lots of Desigual & Boden), which I wear with sandals in the summer, leggings and boots in the winter. It's a bit of a uniform. Apparently I always look 'fun' and my kids love it. BUT... I never ever feel remotely attractive to the opposite sex. Kind of convinced my clothing might be seen as a bit scary/repellent. I'd prefer to look a bit 'foxy', rather than a mad old bint in a DayGlo dress...
Can someone please advise me of a better alternative wardrobe / someone's style to steal / other sources of decent advice. Not boring, possibly quirky still, but defo 'toned down'. Feeling a bit clueless.
I am 43, 5ft 6, big boobs, decent legs, bit of a belly, size 14-16, long blonde hair.
Thank you.

You sound like you have a similar figure to Nigella. Do you like her look?

Personally I like Ines De La Fressange. She's a lot taller and slimmer than me (I'm 5'4" and a size 10-12) but her style is quite classic and she always looks well groomed.

She wears a lot of slim leg trousers with shirts and then throws a jacket on to smarten up the look. Usually in flats too so it's a comfortable look. de la fressange Images here.

Could you maybe stick with the style and shape if it suits you but tone down the colours.

Do you enjoy dressing quirkily though? Will you have to sacrifice expressing an aspect of your persnality if you go for the conventionally attractive look?

Yes, how about toned down colours (with less of a pattern) for the dresses and opaque tights with shoes/ankle boots with a bit of a heel for autumn/winter? Somehow black tights look a lot more put together than black leggings.

Me&em dresses
Black Boden wrap dresses

I wear a lot of navy, black, grey and white and use costume jewellery/ scarves to brighten things up :)

Yes, how about dresses in block colours instead of prints. Scarves, and accessories can make the look quirkier or not.

I still dress like an indie kid teenager some days but at 41 it's harder to pull off....

Shoes and earrings are a good way of jazzing/quirkying up a sensible outfit.avoid patterns if you want to 'straighten' up

Some great advice here so far, Ta.

Ines lovely but just too sensible for me. I am an eternal teenager and wouldn't feel comfortable with that. Still gigging, going to festivals etc.

Like the Nigella idea and yes: similar figure to 'classic Nigella'. Recently bought a Katya Wildman Bombshell dress off ebay in blue Liberty feather print. Fantastic, flattering and more subtle print than my usual stuff, but not for everyday wear. Nigella could be my 'going out' look for sure.

I am thinking perhaps going a bit more edgy and rock-chick ish? But can't find a reference point. I like fitted denim jackets (Nigella again). Do you think a slightly above the knee leather or suede skirt would work? Thinking chocolate brown or dark purple rather than black?

Is it acceptable for me to do the shorts with tights / leggings a la Caitlin Moran? I tried this the other day and my DD (12) said I looked very nice. But unsure if that's just another version of crazy woman...

Who irocks a bit of denim and leather, but still classy and, well... Mature? Kate Moss too thin for me to copy. Sigh...

Obviously its acceptable for you to wear whatever you like but I suspect that your fears about the shorts are well founded. I dont think they are the look you are after.

I would also suggest sticking to dresses but perhaps fewer crazy prints. Definitely keep away from the shorts with tights/leggings...

What about Jasmin Guinness? She always looks lovely but a bit quirky too. Not Kate Moss thin either. Definitely got boobage going on.

Ditch the nursery colour scheme. Bold and colourful = fun and ultimately jarring.

What colours do you LOVE? Pare down your palette of colours, as your first step, and move away from buying patterned clothing.

Plain well cut clothing in colours you love. Do this, rather than trying to find a 'look' that belongs to someone else.

Give your own look a chance to emerge, once you stop overstating your case,dress wise.

I'm going through the same thing Oink and finding it hard but liberating and fun.

I have desigual and Boden too, plus hundreds of gig t-shirts which I've been pairing with black yoga pants for the last 10 years.

It's like finally making a commitment to adulthood, trying to add sophistication without mum frumpiness.

Firstly, know your colours and what suits your shape, then experiment.

In order to expand your wardrobe and experiment with new styles you could buy quality second hand clothes, either from ebay or from charity shops.

It will allow you to mute down your colours, experiment, reinvent and invest in well cut pieces.

Been reading this with interest. I don't think you want to "tone down" but are looking for another style. You still want to look quirky or edgy but are tired of the funky dress and leggings.

Definitely think a more rock-chick look is the way to go. Ditch the leggings for black opaques and above the knee skirts (you say you have decent legs, show them). What about a leather biker jacket and heeled ankle boots?

The shorts and tights thing divides opinion on MN, but I'm a devotee of this look and I'm a similar age to you. Keep the shorts short but not too short and the tights thick. Lets face it, if you're not embarrassing your DD of 12, you're looking good!

I wear a lot of dresses with prints, with leggings or tights, most of mine are from joe browns. I steer clear of the kerazy prints and stick to the more subtle floral prints or muted colours.
Dresses with leggings works with my figure and just feels comfortable. I've tried smartening up but it doesn't feel like me.

www.joebrowns.co.uk/sp+women-tops-and-tunics-fabulous-floral-tunic+lc771
www.joebrowns.co.uk/sp+women-tops-and-tunics-easy-layered-tunic+lc784
These two have been recent purchases and I love them, though the brown one is more of a top so I wear it with jeans

Watching this thread with interest.

I feel very much the same. I used to wear a lot of joe browns, but I preferred their plain stuff. Nearly everything is patterned now.

I like the rock chick look. I feel the cold loads, so tend to go for layers of different lengths and fabrics, usually topped with a cardi for warmth, which isn't very edgy!

Desperate to break away from my 'uniform' but I feel like a bit of a twat if I try anything different!!

I've ditched the leggings and tunic thing since losing weight.
also my occasional Boden purchases are restricted to cigarette trousers, skinny dark indigo jeans , plain tops etc.
I like Mint Velvet as I wear a lot of grey and White Company.
my 'quirky' necklaces are taking a back seat to more discrete pieces.
I said on a thread a few weeks ago that the look I'm aiming for is 'pared down elegance'.

If you are not totally embarassing your daughter you must be doing something right!!!!!!!!

Q: Who rocks a bit of denim and leather but is still classy and mature?

A: Brix Smith Start! A non skinny, curvy blond. Who always looks excellent and never plain.

I love Brix. I would like to be her when I grow up!

I gave up bright colours, black and loud patterns in my forties. It wasn't my age as such, I just felt they were too harsh and overpowering for me. I still wear a lot of colour but more muted shades and blocks rather than patterns. I think they suit me better

How about Charlotte Gainsborough as a reference? I don't know what shape she is but she's a similar age to you and I always liike her classy rock n' roll look - e.g. skinnies with smart jacket. Her mum (Jane Birkin) is pretty cool too! Sofia Coppola's another although she wears too much black and grey for my liking.

Duh - Gainsbourg! Sorry Charlotte.

Feeling very pleased with advice above & progress. Especially Jasmine Guiness - spot on! I have lots of Joe Browns stuff already - but mainly the mad in yer face items. So will replace with some more subtle quirky stuff.

Had a huge clear out over the weekend - filled three massive laundry bags with clothes & shoes. Most is in decent condition, so can be ebayed to fund the new stuff. However... already bidding on and won several items!

I'm looking carefully at the shape of Jasmine's frocks and buying similar (nipped in waist, scoop or v neck for cleavage, not too bold pattern or plain colours), leather/suede/denim fitted jackets, nice boots with a bit of a heel and tights rather than leggings. Ooooh and fitted cropped cardigans over the top of dresses. Knitwear can be really hard to get right... I had some dodgy big / long bright cardis too (now in the get rid pile!). I also like Pearl Lowe too - similar to Jasmine.

The other offensive thing I forgot to mention was my collection of brighter floral patterned tights... Just given to my DD (who is delighted). I have kept back the lacy and dark coloured fishnets, as I think they might still be acceptable with plainer / block colours and boots. Yes / No ?????

Saving up for a Get Cutie dress for Christmas - fabulous flattering shapes and fabrics. Live near Brighton so can get it made to measure too.

Thank you for input :-)
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