I need a complete re haul from top to bottom. I'm over weight, frumpy, nearly 50 and. Want to turn it around

[flipchart]

So where do I begin?

Make up .....but who? Where how?
I've been given a good recommendation for a hairdresser but that will have to wait as its in London and I'm in the Ribble Valley.

Up to about 3 years ago (before I put loads of weight on) I was up to date fashionable and loved it. Now I haven't a clue.

And so it goes on!

So, where do I begin! ( or do I just embrace years of frumpdom )

Tell us more Flip. What sort of style? How tall? What shape and size?

I find a great manicure and a simple classic outfit that's clean and pressed really helps. And surely there's a good hairdresser in the Ribble Valley?

I've never been able to find one ( good hairdresser ) when visiting my DILs in Ribble Valley and recommend the trip to London ( who have you been recommended there?). But that's probably just my ignorance. Surely Manchester, which is much nearer, must have great hairdressers ?

On makeup, suggest a consultation at a Bobbi Brown counter, or a trip to Space NK. You don't need to buy all or any of the things recommended, but both are excellent for ideas on a low key look, which I think is much more flattering, specially as you get older.

I am 5ft 5 my weight has piled on to 12stone 7 from 10 stone in 3 years.

My hair is shoulder length and highlighted. It's in good condition. I had a fringe cut in a few weeks ago (Claudio winkle man style) My eyebrows are in good shape. I go to Rachel Hall who is well known in the area and she is great. I have my eyelashes tinted and permed.
I have regular pedicures but not manicures ( I'm a biter!)

My skin is in quite good nick. I do tend to wear Bobby Brown stuff.
I've got the old chin hairs but I get them threaded.

My look ( up to recently) was rock chic, definitely! Now it's dressing gown chic as I don't like going out because of my weight!

It's fair to say I'm gojng through a gym lull after being very enthuastic all year and doing boxercise, spinning etc.

It's fair to say I'm feeling low!

I'm 53 and emerging from frumpdom....top to bottom literally, I got the Jillian Michaels exercise habit and now don't need bootcut jeans any more. The rest follows from there. More effort than makeup but honestly worth it - perhaps it's a confidence thing?

I'm not so far from the Ribble Valley myself - can't recommend a hairdresser as my hair's the sort that doesn't need a great cut but I can't believe all the people I know go to London for theirs. Hm, I'll think if there's someone I can ask.

xpost...sorry you're feeling low. Sounds like mostly you don't like your weight (your description doesn't sound 'frumpy' to me) but sometimes you need to start feeling better about yourself to start the motivation to change (does that make sense?) .

If you wanted to 'embrace frumpdom' you wouldn't have started this thread.

Maybe your xmas present to yourself this year should be a trip to that hairdresser - that could be a great way to begin.

The London hairdresser thing came about from another thread. Someone recommended a place in London. I thought it would be nice s a one off when I go down.

To be honest I have a good hairdresser but I'm stuck in a rut ( which is my fault as I say things like do something really different, but keep the length, oh and I like my style!!)
I don't want it cutting short!

My weight is horrendous. I started last December by going to the gym and doing a variety of classes each week ( spinning, kettlebells, personal training, boxercise etc ) but after 9 months I was still in size 14 clothes ( hence the lull!)

Gym's great for fitness and making what you've got look better, but if you've gained weight and want to lose some then (I'm sure you know) you will need to change something about the way you eat. I've gone from steadily gaining weight to gradually losing by doing the 5:2 - that's what seems to work for me as a sustainable thing (not a 'diet'!).

God knows wat went wrong with the gym. I went 4 times a week to many different classes and worked bloody hard but my shape didn't alter at all. So disillusioned and deflated ( especially after getting up at 6.00flippin am to go to boxercise!)

Have you tried running? The couch to 5km program really works and helped me shift weight and alter my shape and have me confidence back.. Nice not having to go to a gym too.

Unless you are a professional athlete, you can't outrun a bad diet and a few mouthfuls can undo all your hard work.

Old fashioned calorie counting via my fitness pal app is working for me

You're well on your way!
I walk every day- at least 3 miles. Gym didn't do a thing for me.
Smaller portions
Pinterest- loads of ideas for hair,make-up, clothes, styles-
Get your rock chick mojo back-I love it! dressing gown chic isn't a thing.
Hair is my number 1 priority, unless it looks good I might as well wear a sack. I'm not going short either!

I can definitely recommend Myfitnesspal. I was 12st 11lbs in June. I now weigh 10st 12lbs.

Running (start with C2K), My Fitness Pal, portion control, don't eat crap (except for one small treat a day to stop you losing the will to go on). Be kind to your body by fuelling it properly. Start now and by Christmas you will be well on the way.

Once you're down to a weight you feel better in, I suspect the rest will fall into place as you'll have way more confidence about what to wear.

I can recommend a hairdresser if you are near Preston. Made my hair look amazing for my 50th. PM me if you like.

I would agree with the others. Try some gradual weight loss but maybe in the mean time treat yourself to some boots and a coat for winter. Also get a well fitting bra and a dress with some flare to it to wear with tights as this is quite flattering. I need to lose a bit of weight and have been stuck near 11 stone for ages. I would say keep your rock chic look and look out for a few vintage bits on ebay ETSY or at vintage fairs - more fun than the high street with those awful changing room mirrors!

Agree with Hermione. I def think losing the weight will really help. I have recently lost nearly a stone and a half and feel so much less frumpy - I can so easily manage outfits etc now.

You can't exercise to lose weight unless you also change your diet. People grossly overestimate how many calories they lose through exercise- it only takes a couple of slices of toast or a couple of biccies, or similar, to negate most people's exercise regime unless they are really working hard. You should exercise to keep fit- and weight loss is a bonus if you also cut down on foods that pile on weight.
What about trying the 5:2 diet? There's another thread running here on that.

Like lots of people have said, I think that a few extra pounds on after a certain age equals frumpy, especially if short.
I am 47 and 5 ft 3,have gone from 67 plus kg in Jan to 53 now, using combination of mfp , Jillian Michaels, classes and running.
I cannot believe that I've done it, and am determined to keep it up.

Don't change your style because of your age - 50 is the prefect age for a rock chic. You just need to adapt it a bit. Nothing will make you feel more frumpy than trying to dress ina style that's not " you " .

And start calorie counting to lose the weight . You probably over estimate the amount you burn at a class.

But don't stop the exercise, it's great for your physical and mental health .

I'm agreeing with people about the weight/food /dieting.

I used to exercise a lot and then 3 years ago there was a massive shift in my life and I got out of the exercise but carried on eating the same and had a weight gain. I think I put on a couple of pounds and thought it doesn't matter, they'll soon go and then put on a few more. They became stones then it seemed an impossible task!
I started back last December with yoga, cycling, kettlecise, 1:1, spinning and boxercise but didn't really alter my diet. I thought I was burning calories and it would have fallen off like it did in my 30s and early 40's

Mentally, for some reason, I have been in a bad place. No idea why. I've got a fantastic DH, my kids are doing well, my job is good but on my days off I have been sitting on the settee almost staring in space for hours and then the day has gone and then I regret it!! Barmy!!

I will make a concerted effort with my food and meal plan.

Thank you for the comments and support everyone. It's kind of you to respond.

Have you started the meno yet? It's soooo bloody hard to lose weight when you're older. I'd recommend MFP for calorie counting and walking (loads) rather than the gym. Like a pp pointed out, it takes loads of exercise to make a dent.

You don't sound frumpy to me at all, btw. I'm 55 and it IS a struggle to look good as you get older. Sometimes it doesn't seem worth it. Clothes are difficult to find, too, imo: you can't just chuck any old thing on!

I think, personally, that certain things are out fashion-wise as you age. My problem areas are: cankles, waist, saggy boobs. The rest is ok or can be worked on. And there's always intervention if you want to go down that route. Dress according to what suits, and bugger the rest. And cover your bum

No, no sign of the meno yet. I'm still having regular periods and no symptoms yet.

Rethink diet and starting a fresh with exercise tomorrow!

flip - I think we can sometimes get into a mid-life rut. I think you may have started this thread because you want a bit of a kick out of it. Sounds like you're on your way - but apart from reviewing what you're eating, hair etc, maybe you should start thinking if there's something you want to do on those days off - alone or with DH/kids.

You might find this helpful- it tells you how many calories you need not just for your height, age and BMI but also for your level of activity. I thought I was moderately active by fast walking several times a week ( including hills) but this rates it only as light exercise.

thefastdiet.co.uk/how-many-calories-on-a-non-fast-day/

I was a bit shocked to see that the calorie intake I need is just over 1400 per day. I am not overweight (BMI 19.1) l, but want to lose 4lbs that have crept on round my waist - my waist is almost 30 inches- which is getting near the safe and healthy limit of 31.5 inches ( half your height in inches) for my height.