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Please help me style up my just off to Uni DS!

17 replies

SpringyReframed · 16/09/2014 11:11

He has zero interest in style and fashion unlike his older brother. He lets me buy all his clothes and basically likes whatever looks the most like what has just worn out! He wears the same thing whether it is to slob about the house or go out with his friends and I really think he should have "going out" gear so he can look different to how he looks on a day to day basis.

We cant copy his DB (who has finished Uni and now works in a very style conscious industry) as they are very different body shapes. This DS is tall at over 6ft, very unfilled out in the upper body as yet, with long arms and legs. The latter being quite muscled in the thigh although a slim calf. He has quite a low self esteem and regards himself as "fat" which he isnt, although he does have what I would describe as a naturally thick waist. even as a toddler I had to careful over waistbands and usually put him in dungarees for that reason. I have never got him to even try skinny jeans. At the moment his usual attire is an untucked shirt, v necked jumper with baggy (although not in a stylish way, more like dad jeans!) straight legged jeans, or round neck t shirt and hoodie. I have never got him into polo shirts, as he regards them public school off duty wear which is ridiculous on many levels!

He never wears a coat. He is flying north to Uni and will be using a bike so he does need to get one.

Hoping to drag him out shopping this week so any help on brands, style, what your DS's wear etc would be very much appreciated. Grin

OP posts:
specialsubject · 16/09/2014 12:34

a long coat and a bike don't go together. He needs high viz stuff.

if he really isn't interested and isn't walking round naked or smelly - is it worth the effort? I believe that they have shops in the north, rather than lug loads of stuff there why not let him shop when he needs to do so? He may want to fit in when he gets to uni, or may want to be different; but what he needs to do that won't be clear until he's settled in.

more productive to help him realise that he isn't fat, and that he has the life skills to buy his own clothes when the current lot do wear out. And also to do the laundry!

his friends don't care about his clothes, he doesn't and I think you probably don't need to either.

magpiegin · 16/09/2014 12:55

If he is happy with what he's wearing then I would leave him to it. He will either decide to buy new stuff when there to fit in or not.

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 16/09/2014 13:10

All the guys in my college are wearing Abercrombie and Fitch, Jack and Jones, Jack Wills and Jack and Jones type stuff. Mostly polo shirts though!

I think if he isn't bothered though, best to leave him to it.

bigTillyMint · 16/09/2014 13:27

He needs to develop his own style, or not as the case may be. It's no good you buying him a load of overpriced Jack Wills, etc if he is not a Jack Wills type person! ETC.

DS (who prides himself on his swag) cycles and wears a Harrington-style jacket. In deepest winter he has a puff-jacket.

dreamingofsun · 16/09/2014 13:33

does he have a friend with any clothes sense - they could go shopping with your son?

Rainbowgeorge · 16/09/2014 13:38

I would put some money aside each month and let him know you have it if he needs clothes. After a few months of uni he may find his style so a bit wasteful buying stuff now for it not to be his future taste.

Build up a shopping fund for when he comes home at Christmas he might be a bit more in tune with his inner Gok by then.

motherinferior · 16/09/2014 13:39

Leave him to it!

littlewhitebag · 16/09/2014 14:35

I wouldn't bother. Many students dress very scruffily.

My DD's boyfriend (age 20 and at uni) buys all his clothes from H&M. They are mostly jeans, shirts or slogan T shirts and hoodies. He wears DM's on his feet.

Just let your DS go off and he can buy stuff he needs, if he wants to, once he is at uni. How far north is he going?

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 16/09/2014 14:49

Also, how far north? I'm in Glasgow and it doesn't get super cold really, I survive quite happily in long sleeves and fleecy/fluffy zippers.

velourvoyageur · 16/09/2014 17:03

hmm but it's v. carefully put together scruff little!
I went through my scruffy phase in 6th form. Took bloody hours to put stuff together.

I'd say, get him some classic, well fitting jeans. A really great winter coat. Close fitting tees and some slim fitting shoes. He might get into normcore! If he has basic clothes but they fit really well, he'll be better dressed than loads of people at uni (hope that doesn't sound too bitchy, but I know I came up with some dreadful outfits my first year!). Perhaps look at Zara, Cos and other minimalist but trendy clothes shops.

Impossible to know what style to go for without knowing what he looks like though really.

At my uni the guys who choose their clothes carefully are either super hipster, turned up chinos/jeans with button up shirts, glasses frames, boater shoes, you get the picture. Or regular jeans with photo t shirts with mantras on them. Perso I find both a bit boring, but they def look cared for iyswim. Basically as long as he's clean, smells good etc, he'll be fine.

maybemyrtle · 16/09/2014 17:12

If you want him to be stylish, do not buy his clothes for him. You won't get it right and it won't help him develop his own style. Imagine how mortifying it would be for an 18 year old young man, if asked where he got something, to have to answer "my mum bought it for me"...

lordnoobson · 16/09/2014 17:14

You should not be buying him clothes at 18

make him do it

TheFairyCaravan · 16/09/2014 17:20

Leave him to it.

My DSes are very trendy, but wear nothing that is ever suggested on these threads.

DS2 and I went to an Open Day at Nottingham uni on Friday, all the kids had their own style. I don't think any of them looked out if place, tbh.

micah · 16/09/2014 17:23

I agree :).

My mum thought I needed styling, and would buy me clothes. Obviously she thought she was "with it" but would get things ever so slightly off, buying from m&s rather than top shop, to fit with her mum sensibilities. It also destroyed my confidence in clothes, effectively being told I looked terrible.

Leave him to it :)

ThisBitchIsResting · 16/09/2014 17:37

Absolutely leave him to it! And what myrtle said. Your role here is to look on disapprovingly and tell him to wrap up warm. Make sure he has money to buy some clothes if he needs them and you can afford it - beyond that, it's part of him deciding who he's going to be. You've done the legwork from 0-18, time to let go Wink

Bluestocking · 16/09/2014 17:43

Another vote for leaving him to it, but I do like the idea of letting him know you can give him a contribution towards some new clothes if and when he wants them.

SpringyReframed · 16/09/2014 19:54

Well, after I posted I went out with him for another reason and suggested we pop into TopMan and get him some jeans. It was very quiet, only us in there and he confessed he finds clothes shopping embarrassing. I pointed out that no one was even in the shop never mind looking at us, and grabbed some jeans (read that Vintage Skinny might suit him) and sent him off to try them. He came out said they were no good, but willingly walked into H&M after telling me maybe he is not as fat as he thinks he is and that the jeans he tried may have been too big. The result was he bought a pair in H&M and came out happy. I told him in the car on the way home he is lovely and not at all fat and he laughed in a pleased way.

It may have been a break through! I will no longer interfere as suggested by most of you. He has money to buy clothes if he wants to and doubt he will ever be swayed by brands.

He is always very clean, so like you say, what more is needed? Thanks everyone. Flowers

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