help me survive this wedding reception

[frankie80]

I'm going to a wedding reception on saturday and I'd really rather not go but I can't get out of it as the parents of the bride are family friends going back over 50 years.

I will feel very uncomfortable as I am overweight (trying and failing to lose weight) and the bride and her sisters are all stick thin. In fact, they are very boastful about their looks, jobs, lifestyles etc (parents friends are wealthy and have never worked)

Similarly, brides friends were the popular crowd at school, similarly skinny and very judgemental, look down their nose types.

DH doesn't want to go either as he can't stand them for these reasons.

Even my mum is stressing, telling me I should 'make more of an effort'.

I just need advice and tips on how to feel and look good on the day, ideally I'd love genuinely nice comments about how I look but at best I'll just be ignored completely.

I would book a blow dry and manicure for Saturday morning. Check your outfit and if necessary take it to the cleaners for a clean and press. Sort out your shoes, bags, accessories and makeup. Then relax.

Just think you are only going to be there for a few hours, be fashionably late (!) and leave as early as respectably possible. Smile a lot, especially when you greet the bride and her sisters. When they start saying how wonderful their lives are, smile again, nod and agree how fortunate they are.

When they ask about you, smile again, look into your husband's eyes and say how fortunate you've been to find each other. Don't let them get under your skin. Pass on and chat to other guests, wish the bride and groom well, thank the parents for inviting you and leave....... (and don't look back!)

p.s. repeat after me 'I do not need these people to validate me'.

Why waste precious time doing something you don't want to hanging out with people who don't sound pleasant. Why don't you and DH go away for the weekend, tell 'em you have a migraine.

Exactly what Chottie said

Do you have an outfit you feel comfortable in? Cos that's the biggest part of looking fabulous

I would have D&V on the day. Terribly unfortunate but you couldn't possibly take the risk of passing it to the guests... Then have a nice time with your DH instead grin

Ooh accidentally created a link to nothing. I meant of course.

Oh that does not sound like a fun day out. I'd try and forget about what they are like and just go and enjoy a day out eating nice food, drinking good wine and dancing with your OH and having fun with your parents. They can think being thin and rich makes them better than you all they like, doesn't make it so.

I have a nice dress but I'm not sure if it fits anymore having put on a few (or a lot) pounds. that's the other thing that worries me - tight dress, fat upper arms, looking squeezed in.

Going to dye my hair definitely and straighten it. Have already got acrylic nails done. I bought myself those self waxing eyebrow things but they wont work! :(

Well, try the dress on. If it fits, hurrah. If a little tight on the arms a bolero cardigan might help. Or what would be your budget for a new fabulous frock?

I could maybe spend £50 on a new frock, I will try my old dress on today to see how it looks first.

what size and shape are you? colouring?

If the dress is too tight i would advise getting something that fits properly. You will feel much more comfortable.

Overall, I would advise that you try not to stress too much about it. You might find that many of these people have changed since school, and grown up a lot. Some might be struggling with losing their own baby weight. Unless they are truly horrible people, they will probably just be happy to see you.

I remember a few years back a member of our extended family didn't come to a family party. I heard from someone (who was quite out of order for telling me to be honest) that she didn't want to come because she was still struggling with losing baby weight, and said she felt too self conscious to come and sit next to us (our side of the family seemed to get the thin genes). I felt sad that she was in such a low place, but also really hurt that she thought that would matter to us. We just missed seeing her.

lady V London have a sale on at the moment and do dresses in larger sizes which look good on the less svelt amongst us.