Help with DD's frizzy matted hair

[Suslik]

Hi all,
I read a few posts on similar subjects but still a bit stuck.

I am currently on a seaside holiday and dreading going back this sunday. My DD (6yo) has always had very frizzy hair that get tangled up easily and badly. But since we got here her hair has gone crazy and about 70% of it is now completely tangled up in one massive awful tangle which i cant break up. I can barely cover it up with the remaining hair.

Most of advice i read online does not even begin to help. We use tangle teezer at all times, we always plait hair for the night time.

I took note to do the following:

• silk pillow and/or hair cap for night
• no champoo with sulfates. Can i use organic ones??
• lots of conditioner and leave it in, or use both normal and then leave in conditioners. Any particular ones?
• bought tangle tamer
• will try olive oil

Basically i worry that i will have to cut A LOT of her hair or cut her very short (will make her look like a sheep), and just before school!... I had to cut some of her hair when she was about 3, but she did not notice, and size of problem was a lot less. I feel like i am letting her down by not being able to look after her hair properly.

Was it the salt water that did it? (She also does a lot of diving and summersaults and you name it in the water, she is a true fish!)

Her hair is about waist long.

Thank you for any advice

Teasing out the mat millimetres at a time will be hard work, you obvs know to start from the ends and work back bit by bit

If it is irretrievable then yes it will need cutting out, go to a salon not chop randomly yourself

If you do manage to tease out the mat do get cut to a manageable length - frizzly easily tangled bottom length hair is bonkers really innit. In the meantime plaits at night can reduce matting reoccuring

I would spritz it with water or leave in conditioner then do as "Holden" suggests. I used a chelating shampoo for DD's curly mixed race hair whilst on holiday which gently removed the salt and chlorine and worked a treat. I also plait her hair for school etc and only leave it out for parties.

Pure coconut oil (just a little) works well to seal in any moisturiser/leave in conditioner and stop it from drying out/getting th frizzies.

Thanks guys. Is it worth going to an afro hair salon? DD is white and not mixed race but hair seems like what would be more typical for mixed race.

Will look for coconut oil. I really do plait at all times, day and night. But after about 2 days in the sea it was no longer possible!

I recommend doing a bun when swimming which means it shouldn't be tangled when you take the band out. Funnily enough, I take my DD to a Caucasian salon for a trim but I do use mostly light afro hair products on her hair. Her hair texture is actually more Caucasian than afro but it's very thick and prone to tangling & occasional frizz.

Naked do a good leave in conditioner.

Loads of really cheap conditioner (for some reason it seems more effective!), leaving it in for 5 minutes or so, and then attempting to really gently tease the tangles out might be your best bet. See if you make any progress at all like that, and if you do then keep doing it. You will probably have to take her to a hairdresser even if you do manage to get most of the tangles out, because the hair will probably be quite damaged, but obviously if you can get the tangles out that will leave you with far more options. How close to her head is the knot?

My DD is mixed race and has very thick curly hair. I find the tangle teezer doesn't work on her hair at all, as it takes out the knots from the top layer, but then leaves it completely matted underneath. I wonder if this is what has happened with your DD's?

I think you will need to get her hair cut shorter if you want to have any hope of dealing with it.

I got my DD's cut after the first time she had nits and it took me three hours to comb through her hair!

I have never had a situation where I couldn't detangle her hair though, although it does take time and patience (on both sides). I would wet her hair, apply loads of conditioner, sit her in front of a film and start brushing with a strong paddle brush. I know that brushing wet hair is supposed to damage it, but it is the only way I can deal with my DD's when it is really tangled.

Recently, I have found some amazing leave-in conditioner which is called Mixed Roots Curly Kinky. I found it in Sainsbury's originally in sachets, and then found a huge bottle in an Afro hair shop, but they do have a website too www.mixedroots.co.uk/archive/products/curl-control-leave-in-lotion/

Thankfully, she is now old enough to manage her own hair, but if she doesn't brush every morning, especially when swimming in salt water, it can easily get out of control.

Hope this helps, and good luck!

I've two mixed race dds and their hair looks the same but it has to be treated very differently.

I've tried lots of things over the years and it really is a case of trial and error. What works on one of mine does not necessarily work on the other.

I have found a Mason Pearson brush better than a tangle teeze.

The thing that has made the biggest difference is sleeping in a night cap.

Thanks to all again. The knot is right below head, where head sits on her neck, so if i did cut, she would end up with a chin length hair which will stick out awfully.

Indeed we use one more brush after tangle teezer, to get to the bottom layer of hair which gets more tangles. But until going on holiday i was able to keep it tidy, get through every day and have neat pleats.

Will try to find an afro hair place and maybe stop by for a consultation on monday.

My daughter has waist length, very thick blonde hair which matts at the nape of her neck all the time. I try to get her to keep it in plaits, but every so often I have to sit with a tangle teezer and a leave in conditioner, for about 1.5 hours, and work through tiny sections of the matted bit from bottom to top. Latest conditioner I bought was Dark n Lovely from Boots, smells nice and seems to be doing the trick!

Sounds like her hair is like mine I'm mixed race but get my hair from the white side of the family.
The nape of my neck is the problem area. When my hair gets bad I wash and leave in loads of conditioner and then split it, kind of like I'm going to do loads of little plats, start at the ends and work up gradually adding a new 'little plait ' amount as I go around my head. I always stop halfway so at the nape of my neck, by this point I need to rewet my hair and often need extra conditioner here. Then tease out any tangles. For all of the detangling I start with splitting hair into sections gradually getting smaller using my fingers and at the end use a wide toothed hairbrush.
To keep it ok, wash every couple of days making surety split hair as I go and make sure conditioner gets down to the bottom layer - never scrunging my hair to rub in shampoo or conditioner. I always wet brush (dipping your brush into warm water with conditioner in it) if my hair isn't just washed and wet anyway.
Then plaits, or a bun (pony tail twisted hair an bobble on top is easy for her to redo in the pool if needed). Even if I want it down I dry it in a loose plait first so it's a little tamer.
Hope you sort it for her.

My dd has hair that ringlets madly and frizzes dreadfully if brushed, and the tangles are a nightmare daily. I gave up on standard detanglers as they just didn't touch it. I now wet it thoroughly and use John Frieda Frizz Ease serum in it each day before brushing or combing. It's far more effective than conditioner and can be left in and doesn't make the hair sticky or heavy. It's expensive, but a little goes a long way. I've used it myself for over 20 years, and it's a godsend. It's definitely worth a try.

If you section your DD's hair from left to right and starting low near her nape then the tangle teezer should get though the bottom layer of her hair. Then you work your way up her head, sectioning and brushing from the ends.

I bought some of the Elvive extraordinary oil (was in France but that is what it is called here!) in desperation on holiday this summer to try to untangle my DTD's hair.

I gently stroked through their tangled and matted up hair with quite a lot of the oil on my hands (more than it recommends as thought I didn't care how oily it was as long as it untangled) as much as I could before washing the hair with shampoo followed by lots of conditioner. I managed to get most of the knots out as it seemed to help the 'knots on top of knots' from endless swimming etc. Then was more strict on tight plaits for playing in the water.

Am watching with interest. My dds hair is like this. I find a tangle tamer brush much better than a tangle teaser.

I never understand the advice saying don't brush curly hair. Dds just turns into a knotty mess without brushing.

It took me an hour and a half to get the knots out the other day