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Original poster

Wedding Dress advice please... not sure I've made the right choice.

28 replies

RainyDay2014 · 10/08/2014 12:57

I ordered a dress a month ago but not paid a deposit - I said I would pay in full via transfer. I work very long hours and have been exhausted at the weekends so have invariably missed the chance to go to the bank by sleeping too long (don't have Internet banking). Dress costs in total £435 when my original budget was £200-300.

Our wedding will be part of a larger family celebration (80th and 60th birthdays) and is very casual, BBQ, garden party/Pinterest style. So I always thought I would go for a cream/white casual-ish dress similar to this.

Instead the one that I have ordered (I have tried on six so far) is a total princess dress. It's absolutely beautiful and everyone who has seen it loves it, but my DM is adamant that it doesn't match the style of our wedding and I will have to "upgrade" everything. She is coming to visit next weekend and wants us to go dress hunting in Newcastle or the Metro Centre (reason I have NC - don't have my location on my usual NN). SHe also believes that if I was desperate about the dress I would have paid by now.

I am not adverse to going looking and the more I think about it the more doubts I have about the dress. But then I think it will be the only (hopefully!) time in my life that I will get to wear a massive off-white dress and I should make the most of it. I also have a body shape that is perfect for the corset style (big hips and chest, tiny waist). Everything else will be 100% casual - self serve buffet, self-serve bar, other people's birthday cakes, I will be wearing the comfiest flat shoes I can find and DP isn't that bothered about wearing a tie. I also want to run around stuff my face and play lawn games and sit on the grass etc... not sure that is practical with my dress?

So... can anyone suggest alternative dresses that I could find in that budget in Newcastle that would suit me? I am 5'3", won't wear heels and a size 10. I don't think it's possible. The dress I have is a total bargain - I did look at Coast dresses in the sale and for the same price they were much lower quality (mine is a second hand one).

I have no experience of this and am totally at sea! I don't have any female friends who are local and free enough to wander around and look at dresses. Any help really appreciated :)

OP posts:
OP posts:
tethersend · 10/08/2014 13:03

Can you link to the dress you have put a deposit on?

TheCowThatLaughs · 10/08/2014 13:04

Is your mum hard to say no to? You should go with the original dress if you love it Smile

tethersend · 10/08/2014 13:06

Might be worth looking here for a vintage dress

fizzylime · 10/08/2014 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KristinaM · 10/08/2014 13:08

Can I just check -you are having a very informal garden party style outdoor wedding but you want to wear a long, corset style, off the shoulder massive formal wedding dress ? But with flat shoes so you can run around ?

tethersend · 10/08/2014 13:08

Oh, and Yy to going with the dress you want.

tethersend · 10/08/2014 13:08

this is lovely and in budget

oldiebutnctoday · 10/08/2014 13:09

Monsoon have some lovely not to over the top dresses for around £300?

darkness · 10/08/2014 13:25

just checking the logic here
You had an approximate budget - but you found a dress you look great in that cost a little more
you were surprised you liked it - but did

you will never again get chance to wear anything like this

but for £135 ( the difference) you are prepared to let someone talk you out of this opportunity -
you want to "downgrade " the way you look - on your wedding day mind
so you look more appropriate for an 80th birthday

youre mum ( I cant believe this!) thinks you should downgrade your look too - because you wont match...what ? the napkins...?

hmmmmmmm

and you already know you'll regret not having this chance

so have you posted on here for permission to wear what you like on your wedding day ??? you're obviously not a bridezilla - but just a little more spine ..for yourself !
a wedding dress can look gorgeous with builders wellies if the bride is happy
I expect your mum would love to come and help you choose a wedding dress - but that is entirely different than you looking after your own interest

HazleNutt · 10/08/2014 13:45

it's your wedding. Wear the dress you want to wear - you will regret it otherwise. It's not your mums business even if you decide to show up in a gold bikini!

Original poster
RainyDay2014 · 10/08/2014 13:57

Wow, wasn't expecting so many replies, thank you :)

Thanks for the links tethersend, I will definitely check them out. Unfortunately can't link to the dress - have been trying to find it online for weeks to no avail. It's a Pronovias (?). DM did come with me when I tried this one on and at first she liked it and was impressed I could get that brand for that price (meant nothing to me!) but then she said it was too ostentatious.

darkness I guess I wanted to check whether there were other dresses out there that were that amazing for the same price... DM believes I should look more widely. I have been into four bridal shops. Three were v snobby and expensive and I felt so uncomfortable I didn't try anything on. The last one was where I tried six different dresses on and found this one.

OP posts:
AppleAndMelon · 10/08/2014 14:04

It's your wedding day - go with the dress you love, it sounds perfect.

BiggerYellowTaxi · 10/08/2014 14:06

I expected to buy a quite sim

goodasitgets · 10/08/2014 14:07

Be ostentatious! It's your wedding Smile
This falls under the "burn the damn candles and use the fancy sheets, and wear the gorgeous underwear"
If you love the dress then wear it

BiggerYellowTaxi · 10/08/2014 14:08

Simple dress as I was getting married abroad on a beach but ended up falling in love with a Jenny Packham dress. I have never once regretted it even if it didn't match my style of wedding as well as another dress may have. I looked and more importantly, I felt amazing in it. Wear what you want.

AppleAndMelon · 10/08/2014 14:09

And if your mother tries to talk you out of it, send her on here and we'll talk her round for you!

margaritasbythesea · 10/08/2014 14:13

I thought I wanted some sort of Grecian style thing for my wedding. I ended up with the whole nine yards - princess dress, duchess satin, veil. I just felt like the Grecian style ones were something not too far from other kinds of formal dress, but the princessy one could only be for a wedding.

I was very doubtful, as it is not my usual thing but I looked and felt fab and don't regret it at all.

7to25 · 10/08/2014 14:14

My daUghter wore a 50s Style dress last year. I think you need a heel with them. Not a huge heel but a heel like the one in the link.
I second the others. Wear what you want. The guests will be delighted to see you looking your best. You are the BRIDE!

Tory79 · 10/08/2014 14:15

This is your one opportunity to do this. Keep the dress you love.

Original poster
RainyDay2014 · 10/08/2014 14:31

7to25 That is another reason I like the fifties idea in principle but not in practice... I hate heels and don't ever wear them, I find them extremely uncomfortable. I have a good friend who is getting married in a couple of weeks and has bought some amazing shoes but she can't walk in them and will be on her feet and expected to dance (her culture) for at least six hours. I don't get that at all! I'd rather be comfy.

Okay, thank you. You lot have persuaded me that if I'm going to be bridezilla about anything it'll be my dress :) I will go and look at some dresses to keep my DM happy but I don't want to change and I'll pay for the dress after next weekend.

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 10/08/2014 14:37

Yay! Grin

Don't change your mind - you would only regret it in the future

fairylightsintheloft · 10/08/2014 16:37

definitely go with your dress. My friend got married recently with just her and the groom and their parents in attendance and she still did the whole full on dress thing. He wore an open necked shirt but it didn't look weird, She looked beautiful, bridal, and happy. My mum has a thing about formality and both times I have got married she was Hmm that I had my hair just down and loose, because it wasn't "done up" enough. But I hate my hair up in photos - why would I do that on my wedding day(s)? Go with what you want.

RevealTheHiddenBeach · 11/08/2014 12:15

I'm getting married in a field-with-village hall next weekend, in a full length strapless wedding dress with a poofy skirt and a train. It won't match in any way at all with our cream tea and BBQ, and will probably get in the way, but I don't care.

It's your one opportunity - bloody do it, wear the dress you love and feel amazing in. With your comfy shoes. And I hope you have a brilliant day :)

minipie · 11/08/2014 12:32

Stick with the dress you love. If you love it and feel great in it, it WILL look right because you will look happy and comfortable.

BUT.... are you sure it's still available? A lot of wedding dresses have to be ordered well in advance and if you didn't pay the deposit they may not have registered your order. So do check ASAP.

For that sort of price, generally you'd be looking at off the peg wedding dresses from eg Monsoon, or second hand. Pronovias for that price is a bargain, iirc - they are usually 1000+.