My DD's hair is truly awful

[TwoInTheMourning]

My DD now aged 7 used to have amazing hair. Blonde and thick with tight ringlets. It was a pain to style but would look good after doing so.

In the past year or so it has changed dramatically. It has turned really really dark to the point that it is now mousy brown, which is fine. The problem is that the curls have disappeared, giving way to straggly fine limp hair that it is neither here not there. Whilst it looks fine and thin, if I brush it straight it takes me forever, so there's actually quite a lot of hair there, and the slightest bit of moisture, even her own night sweat, makes the front go curly.

If I prep it for leaving it 'curly', I just use a very small amount of a very light curl creme and diffuse it ever so gently, but all I get is a couple of curls right at the front whilst the back looks straight, but not dead straight, kind of wavy, but still straggly and limp.

I once half-heartedly tried the no poo method and started washing her hair only with conditioner (TIGI's oatmeal and honey), but her hair just looked greasy all the time and I gave up.

Her hair also gets unbelievable knotted in parts. After refusing to have a haircut for 2 years, I recently took her to the hairdressers. I was hoping a good haircut would make the curls bounce back. The hairdresser simply took the hair up by about 8 cm but didn't shape it or layer it, so my DD's hair looks the same, just shorter. Curls haven't appeared.

Her hair ALWAYS looks messy but not in a good way messy. I have to plat it or do pig tails every day and after an hour or so the front already looks messy with stray hairs and flyaway hair all over the place.

So, I need advice here please. What shall I try next, bearing in mind that her hair does need to be detangled and that chances are she's going to wear pigtails all the time so as not to look too messy?

Agree with Ladymoods. Op was just asking for some hair care tips.

Tangle teezers are invaluable of course. Philip Kingsley Elasticizer could be worth a go.

Quite. Asking for hair tips these days suddenly translates as giving your child self esteem issues. What a completely ridiculous over reaction.

Have no experience with curly hair but my dd (6) gets very knotty hair, I find the best way to get rid of them is to wash hair with shampoo first then, add conditioner and use tangle teaser while the conditioner is still in her hair. I also just use normal shampoos, not kids ones as they are mostly crap.

But her hair might be quite different when she is a teenager. Or she might cut it short, or shave it off, or dye it deepest black and straighten it every day, or perm it.

I think the problem is that OP didn't say, "Help. DD's hair gets really tangled and bits are curly and bits are straight and I'm not sure how to look after it, or how I can keep it looking neat at school". She described it as "truly awful" compared it negatively to how it used to be, mentioned the colour change which wasn't even relevant, and mentioned quite a lot of styling which seemed a bit OTT for such a young child.

Although the OP has explained herself a lot better since then, the first post did read as though straight noisy hair was a huge disappointment after blonde curls, and that it required all sorts of intervention to be acceptable.

Maybe try the cg method as others have said, mine's kind half wavy half curly and I've found the co washing hasn't made it perfect but it feels much healthier (now I've finally tracked down a conditioner without 'cones anyway) although i don't often bother with the 'plopping' etc as mostly i just tie my hair up. I've also switched to it on my 2 year olds crazy ringlets and it's deff cut down on the frizz/knots for her.

Day to day, I wouldn't worry about it, kids are allowed to look messy in my book, my 4 year old constantly looks dragged through a bush hair wise, usually within 10 minutes of me doing it! day to day, plats or pigtails are the only things that keep it (kind of) neat.

For special occasions try curlformers I use them on my hair and my 4 yr old's, they're really easy to do and no risk of heat damage. (can also get knock-off ones from china on ebay called magic leverage) my hair won't hold a curl after heat styling without crunchy hairspray but curlformer curls easily last the day.

I don't have any experience with little girls' hair, I have a DS.

I, personally have very very fine hair but lots of it, its really long and gets very tangled and knotted and conditioner leavea it greasy. I can wholeheartedly reccommend the Disney Frozen detangling spray, which you get in poundland. My hair is in lovely condition using it since i don't have to drag a brush through it and break all the ends now. It makes the task of brushing my hair each day alot quicker, and can be used on dry hair as well as wet.

Have you tried plaiting it when it is still wet the night before and taking the plaits put in the morning? That might leave her with some lovely waves, and if you can do french plaiting
they would go all the way to the top. You could also try plaiting the little front bits of her hair across the front of her head? That may help with the flyaways and is quite fashionable just now.

I agree with OorWullie and was also going to suggest the plaits. Some good suggestions! I do the plaits at the front and they do help with flyaways.

I think curly girl method on a 7yo is a bit OTT, put it into plaits and leave it.

Yep I agree, wash it and plait it and leave it and stop focusing on it. At this age she will still have baby curls and in a year or so she will have completely different hair most probably.

My ds had a full on fro until he was 5 now it's bone straight.

Ask her how she would like her hair, if she volunteers nothing the issue is yours not hers and you can leave her be. If she has (realistic) ideas you can then ask here

A Pixie hair cut would be a neat solution.

Well. She needs to learn how to control her DDs hair so she can teach her DD how to manage it herself. It's not about image issues, it's about teaching children to manage their own hair, which his hard to do when it's not the same as your own hair.

My friend adopted a little girl with really black curly hair, she was mixed race, she had to learn how to properly care for it, which products to use and combs etc before she took her home. It is important.

Image aside.

People jump on the OP for caring about her daughter and wanting her hair to be properly cared for.

Isn't that a bit ridiculous? In the scheme of things?

My dds have a mixture of curly and wavy hair and have both gone through very messy stages

The thing that I found made the biggest difference is not using towels anymore

I use plain cotton tshirts put them over their head and then pull them up so the neck hole is round their head like a hair band would be, and the fabric is over their hair, I then squeeze the hair in the tshirt -cuts down on frizz massively

Dd 2 has the frizziest hair with lots of flyaways so for school she has it in a bun and wears a hair band