Stressing about Oxbridge dinner jacket / suit

[whichdj]

I would like to buy my DS a proper dinner suit to wear to his sixth form leavers' ball and to also see him through his next few years at Uni (Oxbridge, assuming he gets his grades in August) but am not sure how much the style matters. We are definitely not Oxbridge types at all and I don't want him to stand out like a sore thumb next year, I want him to feel comfortable in what he's wearing.

We decided we could afford up to £300 as he should get a lot of wear out of it as he's doing a degree with lots of evening dos apparently.
I've tried to read up on it all the dos and don'ts but feel really out of the loop.
How important is the type of lapel? Shawl/ peak/ notched
What about vent- none, single, double?
Number of buttons?
Waistcoat?
Stripes down trousers, or piping, or nothing?
Shirt- what style is best- pleated, marcella, studs?
It feels like a complete minefield of secret rules designed to mark him out.

I'm already imagining that he'll walk into the room at Cambridge and everyone will turn to look at him with a gasp of horror and know he isn't "one of them" and I will have ruined everything by buying the wrong outfit.

OK, I know it won't be that bad hopefully, but I do feel that he is about to enter a completely alien world to ours and I want to make things as easy as possible if I can, not worse.

Any Oxbridge types / London/ county socialites out there who can help?

What I mean is - buy it secondhand on ebay, or cheap!

He just needs to be as comfortable as he can be in it! To be honest I'd say it's a lot easier for a girl to get it 'wrong' than a guy (but even then few girls do!)

I agree with not splashing out big - mainly because lots of boys do bulk out a bit at uni (either haven't stopped growing / drink too much beer!)

My advice (and I only graduated from Oxford within the last few years):

Don't go double breasted - can't recall any of my friends in a double breasted suit.

Many will go classic a la Classic M&S

(in fact a fair few will probably have that exact suit)

Some will go a bit more modern JL Modern-er

HoF

And there will be a few of these around JL

Shirt wise - I wouldn't worry too much (he'll spill red wine or port down it anyway!)

Also on the subject of washing - all my friends took them to the dry cleaners.

Lots of boys will be in DJs that have done the 18ths circuit, so won't be pristine anyway!

he will grow within a year. There some on clearance at Moss Bros, (and click on Size Guide) quite nice quality, I'd suggest a notch lapel as less likely to go in and out of fashion like shawl or peak.

I like Moss because P&P and returns are free. They often include a free suit carrier.

trousers should have a satin stripe.

Avoid synthetics as they will not drape right.

Not a white jacket.

he will need shiny black shoes and black socks

if he can learn to tie a bow it is better than made-up

Marcella shirt is troublesome to launder and probably not necessary.

Know his sizes, and if he is Regular (which is actually Porky) or Tailored (has a waist) or Slim fit. and if he is Short, Reg or Long (short has inside leg 30", reg 32", long is 34"). It is easy to take up trouser legs but the wrong length jacket will be a disaster.

Readymade suits the waist is usually 6" smaller that the chest (e.g. 38" chest with 32" trs). Mix and match usually come out more expensive.

You can actually get ex-hire dresswear on ebay at very reasonable prices, I got morning dress recently and the quality and condition were fabulous, I can message you the trader if you like.

We just ordered suits online. We needed quite a few quite cheaply.
I highly recommend Studio Suits (reused the company for wedding suits they were that nice) and Formal Tailor Ltd. I just bought a tuxedo for £50 (on sale) for a costume party!

I'd agree with everyone else and say buy the suit itself fairly cheaply (M&S is good as already mentioned) as it's likely to get trashed/grown out of. Single breasted, stripe down trousers but otherwise don't worry too much about the details.

The most important thing is that his collars turn down (like a normal shirt) rather than wing collars. Cufflinks good. And it would be brilliant if he could learn to tie a proper bow tie - a ready tied one will stand out way more than the cut of his suit. Avoid novelty bow ties too.

And remember there will be loads of normal people from all walks of life and...

Those that mind don't matter
Those that matter don't mind

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate you taking the time to put my mind at rest about this. Thanks also for the specific suit advice aquavit, It will be really useful when we're looking this week.
I keep telling myself he'll love Uni but DS is our eldest and I sometimes get a bit of a knot in my stomach when I think about him going off to the other end of the country. I know it's an amazing opportunity though!

whichdj he's a lucky boy to have a parent like you. He's going to be just the kind of person to make the most of it.

And thanks tastingthestars and piglet john for the crash course in dinner suit specifics and links, and to all of you who were kind enough to share your very helpful tips and personal experiences which are very reassuring to hear.

I'm relieved that we don't really need to spend so much on the suit after all. I'm sure DS will have ideas about what to do with any change!

NeverEndingLaundry

Glad you got done good answers OP. I'm a northern state school educated girl who read a very "boy" subject at Oxford and had a whale if a time. There is no "type" and your son will meet plenty of people who he'll easily bond with and an equal number who can share their vastly different life experiences.
Don't worry about him at all. Collegiate universities are very good at student welfare. Everyone knows everyone's business in college so if he's ever struggling it will get picked up either by a fellow student or a tutor and support will be found.
Tell him to make the most of his experience. Oxbridge life is unique & you only do it once!