How to Accept Getting Older Without Resorting to Botox and Fillers......

[ZaraW]

How do you accept getting older without resorting to botox and fillers? I posted a couple of months ago as I was thinking about fillers but decided against it as the cost would be too much in the long term and I think I would be too nervous to go ahead. Also as someone said wrinkles aren't the worst thing wait until the sagging kicks in..........

I've had a rough few years being diagnosed with cancer and during chemo lost a lot of weight which didn't help my face as I was already slim I ended up gaunt for 6 months and then ended an 11 year EA abusive relationship I was more concerned with surviving I had bigger problems than aging.

However, things are pretty good now I will hopefully be in remission early next year and I want to start feeling better about the ageing process. I am 43 and reasonably attractive it's just my nasolabial folds seem to be the first thing I see. I use sunblock every day, stay out of the sun, drink the occasional glass of wine. Thinking of facial exercises has anyone tried them and do they work?

Sorry, I'm rambling but would love to know how others accept it or maybe I'm just being vain?!

I accept it because when I look in the mirror I never focus on faults. I used to only see faults but these days I try to take a more holistic view; I just got tired of the negativity and decided being happy about myself was better.

That's not to say I don't see areas where improvement is possible, but I'm realistic about not being able to fix everything. Also I find the idea of injecting botulism a bit distressing and yuck so that keeps me away from procedures like that too!

www.superdrug.com/face-make-up/garnier-perfect-blur-smoothing+perfecting-primer-30ml/invt/689450

www.amazon.co.uk/Soap-Glory-Wonderfill-Amazing-Wrinkle/dp/B0046CTJH8

I use one of these type of products on my forehead wrinkles, which shows a noticeable (cosmetic) improvement after using them. I then forget about it.

whereisshe -thanks that makes sense hopefully it is a process I am going through and I will get over myself and learn to accept I am getting older and be comfortable with that. I am still alive and healthy I should be happy. I see other women my age with the same lines and I think nothing of it, I need to stop being too critical of myself.

preciousbane - you are right after going through major illness is tough and to learn to take pleasure in small things is importat. I was like this after I finished my treatment but seem to have got lost along the way. I need to be more aware of doing this again.

That's interesting about the facial exercises LOL I am sure I would scare commuters as well! I think I will order the Eva Fraser DVD she looks fab. Also wishing you good health
capsium thanks I will check them out..

First of all, it is so good to hear that you are arriving at a good place after everything you have been through. I really wish you well and hope that you grow stronger and happier each day.

I am 44 and am just starting to notice the first few lines around my eyes. My face is definitely falling a little bit but right now I don't mind the way it looks. I have stayed out of the sun for most of my life and I think that this has helped my skin hugely. My younger sister has fared less well and years of sunbathing have definitely left their mark on her face and chest.

I would say that for the first time I feel that I am starting to look older (not old though) and I am having to make some mental adjustments to accept that I am not going to wake up every morning looking like a fresh faced 20-something.

I eat well, I get early nights, I lay off the booze and drugs, I exercise, drink lots of water, wear an SPF everyday and keep a good skin routine. I have just started to use a serum which is surprisingly plumping and firming. I have heard that facial Yoga is good combined with facial massage with oils which is something you can do yourself. I think this is something I would like to try rather than botox or fillers.

I don't know about you but I do feel that I am at a turning point in my life what with menopause approaching and already beginning to feel perimenopausal symptoms. I look at my son who is 12 and at the start of puberty and I really feel that I am at the other end of that journey undergoing a different rite of passage and one which I don't have to fight or feel unhappy about. I try to think that what I am losing in youthful looks and vitality I am making up for with feeling wiser, more confident and less bothered by things that the younger me would have brooded on or worried about.

IrishBlood thank you life is pretty good. You seem to be in a good place will definitely look at serums as this is something I have been thinking of trying as well.

Interesting I didn't think about this but it makes sense my son is at uni and that was the best time in my life maybe I am feeling nostalgic ;) I am however more together and confident than when I was when I was younger and one of the "good" things about cancer is that everything I used to stress about is now irrelevant which can only be a good thing.

I've had Botox and fillers in my nose to mouth lines. Fillers instantly make the lines disappear and mine has lasted about 18 months. I'd recommend it in a heartbeat.

I'm 57 and looking good is getting to be hard work but I draw the line at botox and fillers, partly because, even if you zap every wrinkle, ageing will still find a way to get you, and also because a lot of people seem to have a problem with older women. Not hiding my age while still looking the best I can is my way of giving them the finger.

Foxy thanks I am pleased it worked for you but I really don't think it is for me. Also, I know that if I did have fillers I would probably find something else that was "wrong" that I needed to "fix".

Floisme you have a great attitude and that is what I am aiming for. I have met several extremely elegant woman recently in their 60's and they haven't had work done and they look fantastic.

For me, the main way in which I have managed to turn back the clock somewhat is to lose weight. My weight just crept up over the years and it was beginning to show in my face. I don't have many wrinkles (genetic) but my face got slacker with the extra weight.

Now that I have lost weight (not a lot, just 3 pounds on my petite frame), I suddenly got cheekbones back and look less puffy.

I have four things that help me feel better about ageing. I'm in my late forties.

1. I work on staying reasonably healthy and fit because that makes my life easier.
2. I am grateful to still be here, I think ageing is a privilege. Sounds a bit pious but many people don't have the opportunity. I have a long term health condition and when I have had an episode I am so grateful to be out the other side and still here that really, ageing does not even enter my mind as a problem.
3. And I think of ageing as the getting of wisdom - the older I am, the more experience I have and the less I give a flying fuck what other people think of me.
4. I know some amazing older women who are great role models. One is in her late eighties and I want to be like her now, let alone in 30 years. She is a warrior.

Having said all that, check back with me in a few years and see how I feel about it then! I hope I keep this mindset

Awkward that's such a lovely way of looking at it!

I'm 52. Suddenly, I look sooo tired. Stress is a killer for looks and I think I've aged massively in the past 3 years due to life events. I try to do the water thing. I use a serum and cream atop and spf 35 every day. Spf50 in summer. But, we have to age and no matter how I try to look my best, on a daily basis, for me essentially, I'd like something that turns the clock back ten years. It doesn't exist in a jar. Some days I look good.....some days I need a facelift. . OP, I don't think you're vain. We live in an image conscious society, obsessed by youth. Sad. Very sad.

Forgot to say, I exercise daily. I'm trying to write a book (keeping my mind agile) and when I was a nurse (26 years in the NHS) I saw many, many young people die, who never had the chance to age. All in all, I'm pretty happy with my lot!

Facial exercises do actually work, and in that subtle way, just a sort of lifted freshness, not like you're sixteen again or anything. It doesn't hurt and is definitely worth keeping up with, as you would with the rest of your body, of course.

Maybe I'm odd, but I've never felt convinced by plastic surgery. The people never seem to look 'younger' to me, perhaps just a bit more awake, shocked, glistening and marbelized. I dunno. Small amounts are no bog deal, and it isn't something to be ashamed of either if you do want it. Our culture trains us to desire it then shames us for giving in to it.....

Death and disease do put things into perspective. We really need to focus on what age means, maturity, what really matters. What we have within....creativity, our humanity, etc, looking back on the good shit we have, not just our friggin jowls.

Don't let this world pin you down!
Live and live fiercely.

Bog deal is meant to be big deal, heh!

You get the face your life has given you. I tell myself my lines, from the corners of my mouth to my nose and at the corners of my eyes, are mostly from laughing. I wasn't to be one of those old women with a merry face. Hopefully if I look after my life, my face will look after itself.

I want not I wasn't. Jeez

I'm 44 in a few months and don't look bad, really. But my face has changed in the last few years. Just a little baggier with darker circles. I'm OK with it because as IrishBlood said, the emotional compensations far outweigh any small blow to our vanity.

Stick a pic of Nicole Kidman

Accept that botox and fillers actually look worse than ageing naturally ?

Emphasise your good points e.g I have aged more around mouth than my eyes so I would wear neutral lipstick but do up my eyes a bit more.
Improve your posture with e.g. Pilates, yoga, ballet in my case. People look at you overall not just the lines on your face so I think if you have good posture it's keeps you looking more youthful.
And all the boring stuff like eating well, not drinking too much etc :-)

That posted before I'd finished. Put a picture of Nic Kidman on your fridge - unfortunately she seems to have gone too far with the Botox and fillers.
at what point was it decided that being how we are naturally just isn't good enough anymore? Even for women who are naturally good looking like Cameron Diaz, seem desperate to try anything to stay young looking.

I became completely and utterly obsessed a little concerned about aging a few months ago. I started obsessively googling famous women in their 50s and came up with the following findings (please don't expect anything deep and meaningful):

1. nearly all the attractive famous 40/50 somethings have plenty of lines when not photoshopped or snapped in a flattering light

1. some of the most attractive women in that age bracket have plenty of lines (Mariella Frostrup, Lesley Sharp, Kristin Scott Thomas, loads more - spreadsheet available upon request ) but the secret of their attraction is they have lovely smiles (yes, I know that sounds cheesy but if you google them you will see I am right) and they look engaged with life

1. eyeliner is your friend - whether you are 18 or 80 (Sheila Hancock being an example of the latter)

Oh, and also realise that all celebrities don't age that well. They just have more A LOT MORE money for surgery than the average person.