Please help me feel better about myself without spending £££

[Showmethesunshine]

I feel like such a scruff at the moment. I used to feel quite attractive but the last couple of years I have felt like no one would look at me on the street and think I was hot/stylish etc.

I work in an office and need to look smart but just feel scruffy the whole time. I don't have much spare cash for new clothes and I actually already have plenty of clothes but feel rubbish in them. All the other girls look so chic and professional.

I have no clue what colours suit me but cannot afford to get my colours done. Any advice would be appreciated.

I have recently paid for teeth whitening but didn't get great results despite getting it done by my dentist. Feel angry that I wasted my money.

I exercise and am generally happy with my figure.

I have recently stopped straightening my hair and have embraced my natural curls (am using silicone free methods) but I hate my hair curly and feel so scruffy but the straightening was ruining it. I am rubbish at hair and make up!

Please help me with ideas to feel good about myself again. Just little tips. I am in my early 30s, 5 foot 7 and size 8 with pale skin and dark hair.

We'll this should be quite easy - you have a lot going for you!

Have you tried looking at people that you think look stylish and figure out why. I don't mean a copy exactly but a bit of inspiration. I have decided I like Holly Willoughby's look so when I'm stuck I have a little google for ideas and often find my way.

Also I have found that if I pick out a set of matching jewellery (normally a mixture of Accessorize and Primark) and build plainer outfits around them it always seems to result in a more stylish look.

I also believe in investing in leather shoes and bags and then fill in with cheaper items.

I have been in the same boat (without a fab figure though!) and understand its difficult - I'd say start very slowly one outfit at a time and build it up.

Good luck and enjoy!

Thank you - yes I definitely need to embrace accessories as I never wear jewellery etc

I like Kate Middleton's look sometimes, ie when she does casual although some of her outfits look too 'old' for me - more like my mother would wear

My figure is not dissimilar to KateMiddleton, although I am not quite as tall and have a bigger bum

How about people watching from a coffee shop making notes (you may look a bit like a spy but hey ho) of normal folk that you think are stylish then put your own spin on it?

You have the building blocks with a good figure and hair (you really are doing the right thing embracing the curls) it's now just about finding your own groove.... It will come .

You sound gorgeous and I'm jealous

Seconded re handbags - treat yourself to a really good one, spend as much as you can comfortably afford and buy something that won't date and on gorgeous leather that will get better as it ages. Something by Mulberry perhaps (if new is a bit expensive - and tbh their prices lately are bloody ridiculous - have a look at preloved ones but do get them authenticated first). A really lovely bag pulls everything else together and makes even the most modestly priced/simplest outfit look groomed and stylish.

Definitely doing the right thing re curls - but I'm biased and loathe the straightened look! As the condition improves - which it will without the heat - your hair will look really glossy, natural and gorgeous.

I've been in a bit if a rut lately and I'm trying to get out of it by doing little things to start with. Making sure I do my roots every four weeks, painting my nails, that sort of thing. Feels good to be doing me stuff again

Thanks.
Think I need to go through my wardrobe and get rid of everything that I don't feel good in. I also have some things that don't fit well and need taking in - need to learn to use my sewing machine! It's just finding the time.

Might also try and store accessories with things they go with so I remember to wear accessories.

Wish I didn't have to worry about the figure bit!!

On the hair front, I've been embracing my curls after about 20 years of straightening! I feel scruffy when it looks really frizzy ( which mine does a lot) so have taken to using a babyliss big curl hot air dryer for the worst bits around my face and leaving the rest to dry naturally. It makes me feel a whole lot more groomed!

Eyebrows threaded and shaped

Clean shortish nails with a nude or clear varnish

Statement necklace/earrings

Good shoes/bag/sunglasses- TK Maxx is your best option here.

Look on Pinterest for ideas.

Fashion blogs are good to get an idea of how to wear trends.

Do you need new undies. I always feel better when I buy myself some new ones.

I used to look scruffy. I've spent a lot of time (and money) trying to improve things. I've weeded all fussy stuff out of my wardrobe - no frills, almost no patterns. Lots of smart neutral basics. Anything I don't feel good in gets given to charity. I've bought jackets, necklaces and scarves to smarten things up.

Nail varnish - clean the nails with remover first, a coat of
base layer, two layers of polish on short nails, a clear top coat. Take it off as soon as it chips.

A little bit of make up - go to a beauty counter and ask for
advice. YouTube videos are also good for technique. Some tinted moisturiser, blush, eyeliner and eyeshadow.

Clean well looked after shoes make a difference.

Book a free stylist session with John Lewis or Debenhams. They will put together looks which will suit your colouring & shape.

www.johnlewis.com/our-services/fashion-advice-service

I'm not convinced about the hair. I have the curly hair problem too and I feel very scruffy with it natural.
What works for me (I have bra strap length thick hair) is a really good serum (keane aragan oil light) from a salon, a ceramic blow dry brush (£5 from body shop - bloody amazing for drying hair straight) and trying not to wash too often - use dry shampoo if you can. If you can improve the blow dry you use the irons a lot less - I just run them through the front and the really stubborn waves underneath for work.

I think chic sunglasses make me feel groomed - mine are over sized from tk Maxx brand Irrelevent you need plain ones which really enhance your face. Black or tortoiseshell are neutral.

Im trying to do this.

Get your eyebrows sorted and home manicures and pedicures. Im also keeping on top of hair removal on legs and using one of those gradual tanning moisturisers as im naturally very pasty (ginger) and a proper fake tan would look daft but it looks better if im not completely white.

Ive also tried to think abput where i shop. I know some shops make clothes that make me look older even though i love them. So rather than go and buy a comfy fleece i go an look in topshop and buy something that has a younger cut. For work i love hobbs (but from ebay).

I cant afford mulberry unfortunately but have a proper leather bag for work rather than the pleather one i used before.

I too have crazy curly hair. I tame it for work by pinning it up. It soesnt lc

I personally like to inject bits I wouldn't normally wear eg animal (leopard print) ankle boots, bright pink top, brighter coloured jewellery.

That's what makes a difference with me.

Have you tried holding colours up to your face to see what suits you? I read somewhere online that if you do that and you see your face first (before the fabric) you should go for that colour.

Cue me standing in bathroom alternately holding up a large beige cushion and DD's navy winter coat :)

Thanks everyone for the tips.

I think I look better in colours (bold ones) rather than black/grey. I think as I am pale. I have a light grey dress and don't feel it does me any favours. I also have a burgundy dress which I am starting to hate, although the cut is very flattering and suits my shape. So think I need to get rid off all the dull lifeless colours from my wardrobe.

I'm not convinced about the hair either. I've learnt to love my curls but if you aren't a hair and makeup person, silicone free is much harder work than slapping on a bit of Frizz-Ease and having done with it. I luffs my silicones

If you are planning on spending money on clothes, want to buy colours but don't know where to start I'd suggest going to a big department store and using the personal shopper. You will save ££££s by not buying stuff you don't wear.

Good for helping you find which colours suit you. And this is great too

I'm trying to sort myself out a bit as well - I find the first one to be quite a good blog, as she's quite analytical about everything and doesn't have a wardrobe the size of a barn just a few well chosen pieces.

I'm starting with a few good quality basics, and a good haircut that suits me. Eyebrows, and nails when I remember. I get Aldi (lacura) moisturiser, as it's really good and cheap. Then adding minimal makeup etc. All gradually, otherwise I think I'd feel like I was in the dressing up box :(

Is there an app or anything where you can tale a picture of yourself and it analyzes ypur skin tone?

I'll sound like a crazy person - I use the Dulux colour picker one! You take a picture and can move the cursor around to select colours. (And, should you wish to, you can then paint the living room the exact colour of your eyes.)

I do wonder if MAC might have a similar but less insane app...

You sound like a 'winter', which means vivid, clear jewel tones would suit you. Nothing muddy.
I'd totally embrace your lovely curls and just make sure they're in tip top condition. Have you read about the "no 'poo" method?
Treat yourself to some really good hand cream and classy polish - could you afford a manicure to get you started?

Re: the dresses that don't suit you colour wise. You only need a colour that suits you near your face (scarf/necklace/top) so if the dress is ok apart from the colour can you add something higher up? Even a top that suits your colouring under the dress if that works?