Formal Dress 'Rules'

[BuggersMuddle]

So I will be attending a formal event where the dress code is 'day dress (preferably with hat or fascinator), smart trouser suit or national dress'. Yes it's a royal whatsit and I'm not the focus, just attending with someone who is & it's not a garden party.

So I find myself wondering:

• Closed toe shoes obligatory, or are sandals okay?
• Sheer tights, obligatory? Or are bare legs (dress options are all below the knee) okay? Accepting that obligatory tights rules out sandals.
• If I turn up without a fascinator will I feel like a prize plum? I generally wear my hair down (long, curly), so an up-do and fascinator demands practice!

Any other no-nos or must dos?

I have two dresses to choose from. Both shift style but fitted / bit of stretch, both below the knee, one with 3/4 length sleeves and one sleeveless.

You can get open toe tights to wear with open toe shoes.

M & S do great tights you can wear with sandals.
If you look at garden party photos most of the women seem to wear some kind of hat.
Have fun!

Thanks Waswondering. It's an investiture. Am glad to hear open toes are okay. I had closed toe shoes and a terribly posh dress all planned until the recipient announced what he'd like to do afterwards and I don't want to be running back to the hotel to change shoes. I thought I could stash a pair in my bag, but apparently that would mean Giant Bag of Doom in our photos? It's actually a nice bag of doom, but a designer hobo bag is still a hobo bag.

I now have a quite posh dress in mind but...with a pair of Rieker wedge sandals also in navy. Umm, I'm only 33... but omg they are just so incredibly comfortable and he wants to walk about 10 miles after the event

I have a lovely pair of Gucci court shoes that I got on BrandAlley sale but I seriously think I'll piss of the person in question if I have a mumphy face when he wants to walk to Mayfair & back to the hotel.

Argh! I think it's 'look my best' or 'wear shoes my mother would wear but carry a clutch'.

Argh! I amway overthinking this. Mainly don't want to blend in and not offend the family member being honoured & not make it all about me, so I'm loathe to ask too much!

Waswondering Shellac mani / pedi booked. Can't usually justify it, so looking forward to a treat

See I always feel a bit daft in sandal tights because I am so pale. So therefore it is entirely obvious I am wearing them, always.

What is this mad plan to walk miles afterwards? Can you subtly quash that? Is there a cloakroom at BP where you could stash shoes?

Tip: pretty Polly tights go to very pale shades, forget M&S

Branching I wish I could. MIL is one of the few people who look good in flats. I have feet like a duck.

I can totally take large, posh, Mui Mui hobo bag in pale blue. As long as no-one is peeved that I appear to have an overnight bag in the photos (or can I hide it, argh?).

FIL wears suits daily (as do I).

I would find a really small pair of flats (the smallest possible). E.g (but not these colours)

www.hsn.com/products/foot-petals-foldable-commuter-flat-with-carry-pouch/7245144

And then take them shopping with me of the smallest handbag that they and my lipped plus plastic to pay with will fit in.

I'd only wear them for the walk and just carry the heels for that part

I was about to say roll up or fold up flats?

I have a pair of absolutely minimal black patent leather to post free flip flops, that will go in a sensible handbag.

Ooh fold up flats. Hadn't thought about those. Yes - that looks like a plan worth investigating.

Or at least a good back up if following Waswondering 's suggestion doesn't go to plan

Well...we talked to them about the taxis, so we're going to do that in the morning, which will help.

Lunch is booked, but he's not a limo person, so going to go with the it's hot / wet / blustery option and hope for the best

My DM was so offended that I might go without a hat / fascinator that she turned up with three quite nice, plain ones this afternoon. I am very short, so anything remotely flying saucer like and I stand next to DP (6') and look like I'm emerging from a drain with the cover still on my head. DM not that much taller and same head size, so options offered all suitable.

I wouldn't mind a statement hat for a ladies day or something, but in this case I think simple is better.

Mum also nixed the comfy sandals for the event itself. My court shoes aren't awful though - I'll get some of those superfeet to stuff in the front which should help.

Most women will be in hats.

Yes there is a cloakroom and you can leave bags of any size in it.

No photographs permitted inside the Palace.

You can take as many as you like in the inner courtyard. No-one is going to nick your bag there, so you an out it down for pix (whether taken yourself or by the professional photographers there).

Good to know - thanks meditrina