how do you make yourself feel better (about yourself)

[SmileAndNod]

What do you do when you look in the mirror and hate what you see, despite making best efforts you still look like crap and more importantly though feel like crap.

How do you make yourself feel better? How can you talk yourself round? I realize this may be a bigger issue than just S&B!

Do you just mean how you look, or how you feel about yourself..? ( clue, they may be linked!)

I've felt downtrodden the last few weeks and, well, trampy when looking in the mirror.

I got my eyebrows threaded and tinted yesterday, I can post a pic of the difference if you want?

Bought some superdrugs hot cloth cleanser and radiance balm (buy one get half price!)

And also some fake tan that I put on last night and rinsed off this morning, already I feel sooooo much better!

My plan is to get some decent nail polish to help growth, soak and cut my cuticles and grow my nails (am a biter unfortunately)

Also, have started at the gym but very sporadically at the minute.

Is there anything in particular you would like to focus on?

Sorry about the advice focusing on changing the outside, i have no idea about mentally talking yourself around, I can't manage it myself most days!

I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow- I feel utterly rubbish in my appearance but a good cut can do wonders. My current hairstyle is a bit meh so I don't feel good.

There are definitely days like this. I put on something I look good in. There is always something; scruffy jeans and a cardigan, or a super smart dress and heels. A hot shower helps too. If all else fails, I wait for tomorrow.

It's everything. I feel dreadful. I look dreadful. My body. My face. It makes me feel sick. I have no confidence at all. It's been exacerbated by shopping for an upcoming do and even with dressier clothes I still look meh. Compared to my mate everyone else going I'm going to look fat and frumpy and I don't want to go.

I do have my eyebrows and hair done as regularly as I can but even that doesn't work. despite efforts I can't lose any more weight as I'm so hungry (have about a stone to shift, baby almost year old but still feeding a lot). I booked for a spray tan but cancelled when I realised I would have to expose myself.

Maybe I will feel better tomorrow, I don't know. At the minute I just want to bury my head in a box of maltesers

OP - sorry to hear how you're feeling.

Apologies in advance for sounding like a bit of an old hippy, but here goes:

Recall what it's like when you're feeling happiest about yourself. How do you look, feel, move, smell? What do you read, listen to etc? What words describe you? What vibe do you throw out? What inspires/influences you? Then try and find one thing every day, however small, which reconnects you with that state?

Think lots of us pass through some sort of personal identity reconstruction after having a child. Try not to be hard on yourself.

OP please don't worry about revealing yourself to the spray tanner. They have seen it all! Including naked pensioners or so I have been told. They are really friendly and it's not awkward at all. A nice tan always makes me feel better about myself

Fcuck-rub Vaseline into your nails every day, it's amazing for nail growth !

OP-for me it's been diet and exercise, by diet I mean healthy eating bit a specific diet. Getting my hair cut always helps and new make up always gives me a boost.

Tbh if you only have a stone to lose and your baby is one you're doing well imo. I was so wrecked when ds was one I didn't know what to do with myself, seriously. I think we could all do with being a bit kinder to ourselves and cutting ourselves some slack

Yoga class or a run. Obviously one class or run does not change how my body looks but it can make my skin glow and makes me feel 100% better about myself.

Really feel for you. It's hard to feel good about yourself esp when you have a little one. My little one is 11 and I still have 2 stone to lose!

I like to feel better with a bit of fake tan (loreal or garnier do great spray ones you can do yourself at home). I like to get my nails done and maybe a new red lippy. I must say THE best thing I've done in recent years is to get my colours done. I now know my wardrobe suits me and it's one less thing to worry about.

Exercise makes me feel better, even just a ten minute walk. I always feel better afterwards no matter how badly I didn't want to go before. Also, laughing, I just watched a really terrible but hilarious film (Kevin and Perry Go Large) and laughed my ass off.

For more "outside" things for me it's a good base so my skin looks as clear as possible, mascara, and clean styled hair. Loose curls are my "feel good" style.

Don't be too critical of yourself op. Really hope that things feel better soon.

I'm an exercise- phobe, but a good brisk walk makes me feel much better. Do it alone if you can, somewhere nice - the local park etc. just gives me a general lift in mood and a 'everything isnt shit' boost.

I am trying hard to look after myself better.

• Forget diets, but maybe get a little repertoire of tasty, healthy things you can make for yourself that include 'superfoods' to boost energy and health.
• I have a really nice bath every night - bubbles, essential oil, shave my legs, hot cloth cleanse etc, then moisturise top to toe - makes me feel slightly better
• I listen to a guided meditation for 5 mins before bed. Relaxing and breaks negative thought patterns.

I accept that some days I'll feel shit - heavily linked to my menstrual cycle. I tend to wear comfy, 'hiding' clothes (nothing too tight, just 'pull-on' stuff) and not look in the mirror on those days! I use those days to treat myself to things that make me feel good and remind myself that how I look is only a small part of who I am.

Other than that, its about having a few decent 'go to' outfits that I can wear and feel OK in, having my hair/nails done regularly and lots of fake tan

Exercise makes me feel good, even just one big walk then a shower and moisturiser etc just makes me feel fresh and healthier and temporarily more attractive even though I'm not any better afterwards!

A good haircut - it's like an instant overhaul. Buying nice creams and so on can give a little boost but take a while to show results. For instant pick me ups;
Haircut
Pedicure
Manicure
nice new perfume.
All the above give instant results.

Some really good ideas here, will keep them in mind should I ever get a moment to myself. My last haircut ended in tears, as did my eyebrow thread . Would love a pedicure but hard to keep a wiggly one entertained for that long. I might try the footner I've read about on here as at least I can sit and feed whilst it's working.

Now the weather is nicer I'm going to try and get out for a walk a bit more and hope that the sunshine might make me feel better. Wish I could cut down on eating but dd is currently feeding most of the night and I'm constantly hungry. Tonight though I'm starting with the Vaseline on the nails - maybe I could have nice nails for the wedding even if the rest of me looks bad!

OP I wonder whether you would be willing to post a photo of yourself here? (Totally understand if you wouldn't ) as I'm sure you don't look as bad as you think you do. We are our own worst critics and maybe it would help you to get some more objective feedback...

for me if my hair is nice everything else follows

only wear clothes that flatter you and make you feel good

I moisturise all over every night. every 3 nights I use a gradual tanning moisturiser.

the only exercise I do is walking my dog and it makes me feel fab

I always look better with make-up

do something you like every day even for 5 mins

have you got something to look forward too? a holiday/day out/break?

be kinder to yourself