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Original poster

Non frumpy modest clothing

56 replies

peoplearestrange · 18/05/2014 04:48

Hello MNers. I'm fairly new to all this so forgive any mistakes. But I am curious to know if other women who are also inclined towards looking for modest clothing choices find it as hard as me to find anything remotely stylish that doesn't make you look like you are off on a holiday to the Bahamas (i.e printed summery tunics). It could be for religious reasons, to cover baby or general lumps and bumps, personal choice, or just too many Cake
Is anyone else as frustrated as me?

OP posts:
SirChenjin · 21/05/2014 13:33

OK - so wear a top that doesn't show off your boobs then. There are plenty of skirts which end above or on your knee Confused

seasalty50 · 21/05/2014 13:40

I just wear a cami under a wrap dress to prevent over-sharing.

Wear a shirt/blouse unbuttoned over a vest top maybe? There's no need to be on show if you don't want to!

MissBlake · 21/05/2014 15:31

I do! I don't know what point your trying to make here tbh. I was just explaining my own reasons for dressing how I do.
I live in a small market town, so there is very limited choice no zara oasis ect. The nearest large town is some way a way so I don't get there often and I don't shop online. The clothing industry does not cater to everyones tastes at all times, and there are times when its really hard to find what your looking for.

drspouse · 21/05/2014 15:40

I dress modestly when travelling for work to countries where it is more acceptable to dress modestly. I am usually ok with short sleeves and cropped trousers (it is usually warm). Men as well as women dress modestly in most of these settings - e.g. wear trousers not shorts, wear t-shirts not singlets unless actually fishing/swimming.
I am afraid I do wear a lot of Boden tunics though!

SirChenjin · 21/05/2014 18:26

My point is that not getting your norks out on display is not really that hard - nor is finding a skirt which doesn't just skim your bum.

I find these threads really odd - there seems to be a perception that unless women cover themselves from head to toe the menz will not be able to control their lustful thoughts, and there really isn't anything between cropped vest tops and full sleeved, turtle necked maxi dresses Confused.

Online shopping is the way to go if you don't have physical access to many shops.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 21/05/2014 19:00

To add to SirChenjin's point - the word 'modest' has a lot of baggage and has been used by religions to shame women into covering their body, holding women responsible for the male gaze etc so it is rather an odd choice for a style and beauty thread - hence the Hmm expressions.

I get that women want to dress to cover bits of their body if not all of it except eyes but why not ask about dressing in accordance with a religion, while pregnant, breastfeeding to cover specific areas etc instead? This is a Style & Beauty board and you would get specific and relevant answers - usually with plenty of links to purchase! - rather than the nebulous and catch all term 'modest'.

FWIW I am the least modest dresser I know, it is hot, I am at home all day and am currently BF - yet I am fully (and unintentionally) covered from neck to ankle. So 'modest dressing' isn't difficult - what is difficult is finding specific items to fit specific needs e.g. in WeeBarra's case.

ThisBitchIsResting · 21/05/2014 19:59

I'm also a bit Confused at 'modest' - surely the high st has loads of perfectly modest clothing? White Stuff and Boden worth a look - Johnnie Boden famously said that his clothes are for mums who don't want to look sexy. No low cut tops or short skirts there.

I agree with the pp who said just be specific about what you want to cover, people will be more helpful. One person's modest is another's tarty. I wore a loose silk t shirt tucked into cropped fitted trousers and flat shoes for work today, I think I was smart, fashionable and not at all sexy, but then my elbows and ankles were showing Shock

Although I live in a 'market town' and if I didn't shop in my nearest city and online, and limited myself to the shops on the high st, I might also think that all that's available is skimpy vests and Daisy Dukes Grin

EduardoBarcelona · 21/05/2014 20:36

im not keen on my upper arms

wouldn't describe not wanting to get them out unless its over30 degrees as modest

i don't think any woman should be ashamed of her body

JamJimJam · 21/05/2014 20:48

The word 'modest' wrt clothing seems terribly prudish, archaic & uptight to me.

MissBlake · 21/05/2014 23:28

I'm not asking for answers at all though, that's the point! I simply said I find it hard to find skirts that are not minis or longer in length ie my personal preferred length and that I welcomed any suggestions. This is true, I didn't make it up you know.
I explained my reasons for not wearing low cut tops, didn't say they were hard to find though, nor did I say they are the only items available. Have you even read my posts?

I don't know what all this lustful thoughts rubbish is about, I certainly don't feel that way, but I do find the comments from men hard to deal with.
I am not choosing to limit myself my partner works away and I don't have a car so I only get there every few months. I will not buy online for various reasons.

When did I say I don't want to look sexy? Really, what utter rubbish. I find boden totally uninspiring.

Frankly, I couldn't care less what was showing, you could go to work in your bikini for all I care. What other women wear is up to them. Shock

And I don't even want to be modest, I'm only 23 for a start. It was the word used in op and by other posters so I went with for want of a better one. I wear skinny jeans, crop tops (well I did pre baby) and high heels. I would wear mini skirts too if my legs were in better shape.

MissBlake · 21/05/2014 23:39

www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/dresses-442/jersey-drawcord-waist-dress-2913979?bi=61&ps=20

This is the sort of stuff I wear. But depending on the season and what in fashion it can be hard to find. I can't wear shirts or dresses with buttons as I can't get them done it up, larger sizes look like a tent.

Original poster
peoplearestrange · 22/05/2014 03:09

Sorry just coming back to this. Thank you for the constructive suggestions . Am amazed that people seem to have latched on to my wording- basically looking for long tops that cover my bum and chest area and look smart and professional in a working environment, under a suit jacket ( or finding longer suit jackets). I do get Angry When it is suggested that just because you want to dress 'modestly ' it means you can't be fashionable stylish/ interested in fashion/ be on a style and beauty thread! Yes I know modest is a question of perception and perhaps I should have clarified but yes, longer skirts, longer jackets, longer tops, with long sleeves covering the chest area.

OP posts:
autumnsmum · 22/05/2014 08:08

Hi people are strange I think the word modest is fine . MatalAn have an online shopping service now and can be quite reaso able

libertytrainers · 22/05/2014 08:10

french connection do some nice stylish tops, would link but just out.

SirChenjin · 22/05/2014 08:33

Have you 'modest' dressers been anywhere near the High St or online in the last 20 years? Unless you're living in a world of crop tops and mini skirts in a parallel universe the High St is groaning under a weight of 'modest' clothing - longer sleeved tops, layers, blouses, knee length dresses and skirts, trousers etc etc etc ect etc....

As someone upthread said - if you have a specific problem that you wish to cover, or if you want to dress for a certain body shape then this board will be able to help. The vague "I want to dress modestly" is meaningless and has connotations of religions and cultures which prefer their women to take responsibility for controlling the sinful urges of men - esp. when there are already plenty of shops which provide clothes with sleeves and knee length skirts.

SirChenjin · 22/05/2014 08:45

'Constructive' suggestions (without knowing anything about your age, shape, budget, etc) as follows -

Boden
Kew
Phase Eight
Matalan
Next
M&S
Debenhams
Precis
Reiss
BHS
White Stuff
Fat Face
Autonomy
Principles

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 22/05/2014 10:04

Long line blazers and long kimono style jackets are quite on trend at the moment - I've seen them in Topshop, Zara and New Look.

EduardoBarcelona · 22/05/2014 10:06

Lol at sirChen I agree totally. It's rather judgemental on the rest of womankind too.

I want to cover my tits I hate them. Er... Go to a shop ?

autumnsmum · 22/05/2014 10:13

I think people are being a bit hard on the op and miss Blake they only asked about a style of Clothing

weebarra · 22/05/2014 10:18

Argh! Remember when I said I wanted to cover my mastectomy scars? You may not be aware, but if you have both breasts removed, it's bot just the case of wearing non low cut things. One is a completely different shape!

Nocomet · 22/05/2014 10:25

Yes I think you are being unkind to the OP.

I agree that it's not bad at the moment, but about 4-5 years ago, every top except T shirts seemed to have a low neck and I had a 12y with no boobs, but adult proportions. Some of the knock lines were 1/2 way down her body.

At the moment there seems more variety in tops and skirt lengths, ruined by shit fabric, so you still can't win.

Nocomet · 22/05/2014 10:25

Neck lines

drspouse · 22/05/2014 10:29

I do find a fair bit in the High Street that works for my overseas travel but a lot of things have low v-necks (especially if you buy a size that isn't very slim fitting, the neck gets larger), and/or don't really cover waist let alone hips. It's not just a case of not buying hot pants and crop tops.

So what's wrong with asking for some recommendations? On all kinds of specialist fit (I don't mind v-necks for my everyday wear, as I'm fairly large-busted so they are flattering, but it gets boring trying on five tops in a high street shop only to find they are all straining over the bust or falling off the shoulders, and then to go to the next shop to find the same thing...), it's great to have recommendations from people who have similar fit issues.

Then you don't have to look through rail after rail of stuff that you know won't do, you can head for a shop that has some chance of helping you, first off.

I've definitely had some things from Boden, White Stuff and Fat Face that have worked for me. Phase Eight is also good for the larger bust without straining buttons issue, which slightly intersects here as you probably don't want that look even if you have a medium sized bust.

SirChenjin · 22/05/2014 10:48

Recommendations for what??? If you want to dress 'modestly' go to the shops, buy a long sleeve top with a high neck and a knee length skirt or a pair of trousers. It's not really that hard.

OP - you might have received more constructive and relevant advice if you had said "I have large boobs and I want to minimise what's on show, what would look good on me?" - or something specific, other than "I want to dress modestly*.

squeezycheeseplease · 22/05/2014 13:46

I think it's Sir and Eduardo who are getting the hard time.

It is a term with particular connotations.

It is easy to find stuff which will cover you in the shops, because shops have many things and you are free to choose from those varied wares (BHS is, for example, groaning with 'modest' items, but you'll probably find that most shops, due to their desire to get people to buy stuff, carry many different items).

This is Style & Beauty, so you will get help with specific requests but a more generalised 'men are looking at me - where can I buy things to stop that?' is not really the place. Not sure where is really . . .