Oh bloody hell, I'm going to look a state

[trickynicky]

So, I'm overweight (size 20/22), 5ft 9, 50 years old (but apparently look about 45), mid length highlighted hair. My stomach/butt are BIG and I don't feel I look good in anything at all to be honest. I wear my uniform (all the time) of black stretchy waisted trousers from M&S which I wear with a variety of loose fitting shirts and jumpers in the winter. In the summer, I switch to linen trousers and loose tops. Never wear skirts as I have horribly fat ankles. I hate my body. I have horrible feet so I find sandals a real problem. I have fair skin, so I'm always pale.

So, we've agreed to go on holiday to Spain in the summer for a week with 4 families. All the mums are GORGEOUS. Early forties, not a stretch mark or lump of fat on any of them. Extremely well groomed and look gorgeous (I'm sure) on a sun lounger, whereas I look like a beached, slightly pink whale - horrid. I am already feeling VERY sorry for my dh and my 2 x dd's as I am bound to embarrass them by the poolside - the thought of being seen dead in a swimsuit makes me hyperventilate. I'm working out how I can manage to get from a sunlounger into the pool to play with my kids without being seen by 12 people..... Last year, I managed to do it by sitting on the edge in my massive T-Shirt and when no-one was looking, I through it off and jumped in. I was in there for bloody hours waiting for an opportunity to get out without being watched!! OMG.... I am DREADING IT.

Any ideas about what the bloody hell to wear/purchase/ how to look slightly better than I do now in 12 weeks would be much appreciated.

I bet you a hundred pounds that the other women are also worried about how they look in a swimsuit. That is the crazy thing!

I hate it when I hear women describe themselves as horrid. You aren't. Honest. You are just a person going on a well-earned summer holiday. No more, no less.

Hi OP think I might be your twin. No advice other than go a bit easier on yourself. Follow advice given by the other mumsnetters and enjoy your holiday :) some lovely maxi dresses out there and great linen trousers in Sainsburys.

There was a woman on a beach I was on in India. Can't have been smaller than a size 20 - 24 and quite honestly, I couldn't take my eyes off her because of the way she looked.

She was hot!

Great tan, great bikini, fantastic short kaftans for wafting about, fabulous wedge sandals, an abundance of thin gold bracelets and chains. Hair tied back in a flamboyant scarf. Think Princess Margaret but bigger. Or Liz Taylor at her glorious best.

But most of all, her 'give a fuck' attitude made her the sexiest thing on the beach!

Not suggesting that you go from nervous and self conscious to über sex goddess (unless you fancy really going for it!) but just trying to highlight the point that confidence is intoxicating. Fake it till you make it!

No advice because I'm fairly small BUT someone mentioned Maxi dresses and I have to agree ,they look lovely on the bigger lady :)

Tanned skin looks better than white skin so you could go for a proper fake tan before you go.

Oh op I have no fashion advice for you as I am the least fashionable person ever, but I felt so sad when you said that you feel sorry for your DH and DDs because you will embarrass them by the poolside. My mum is your size, and a similar height too, and has been all my life. I have never felt embarrassed by her looks, at the poolside or otherwise, and neither has my dad. When we went on holiday when I was a child she would put on a swimsuit and come swimming with me (and it had to be her, because my dad can't swim) and all I remember is how much fun we had.

We last went on holiday as a family 2 years ago, when I was 27 and she was 59, and we got friendly with one of the other families there. One of them asked in conversation how old my mum was and I said she was 59 - the response? 'Really?! She can't be, she looks so much younger, she looks great!' And these people had seen her, by the poolside, in her swimsuit, all holiday. That's the only thing they'd noticed about her appearance.

My point is, try not to worry and don't be so hard on yourself. Your DDs won't be thinking about your weight, they'll be thinking about being on holiday and the pool and how exciting it all is. So will all the other people there. Your DH loves you. You will not embarrass anyone just by being there, looking how you look, and you have the right to be there looking just how you look. Please don't feel you have to hide or change.

www.matalan.co.uk/womens/shop-by-category/dresses/s2559788/t-shirt-maxi-dress

I'm a size 14 with a bit of a tummy. I tried on some baggier summer stuff today but the dress above which I was expecting to show every lump and bump, was so flattering. I think sometimes loads of fabric can add pounds. Don't dismiss things like this due to shape. It goes to a 20 but I thought it was generous fit. You can wear a bra, covers tops or arms and ankles but will be really cool.

Whilst browsing, I got carried away and ordered this - and I'm not even going on a beach h

Holiday this year!

www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/simply-yours-dipped-hem-kaftan/ro929/product/details/show.action?pdBoUid=9088#colour:White%20Multi-coloured,size:20/22

I really got [[http://www.next.co.uk/g392172s2 this Next] swimsuit which has tummy control & I'm very pleased with it.

try again with my link

I have one similar Chewy ( hope you don't mind me being familiar :) ) and I live it, except my boobs weigh my neck down!

I am with the fuck it brigade. For years I covered up in the heat too embarrassed to show any skin etc but I just looked fat and sweaty. Avoid black if you can - you've probably done that to death. Look for cheerier colours that suit you. Have a mani and pedi with a nice bright shade. Continue to massage cream into your feet at home, put on fake tan (not sure if salons do it for you? If so go for it (not the sun bed kind of thing).

Enjoy yourself!!!!